Posts tagged women
Posts tagged women
This is a piece that took me months and months to work on regarding my own self-image issues. It touches on the bologna we are taught in terms of the beauty standard and the distaste of vanity. (lose/lose) Have a go if you like. :)
My nickname on tumblr is scrawlie. I’m female with a fairly lumpy hourglass body, Quadruple D breasts at 5”1, 160 pounds give or take, and I’ve had an entire life living with thick body hair.
I have darker hair that grows thicker and faster than most people. Because of that, I tend to really hate shaving. Each time I do, I get tiny needles in my legs for a week and loads of ingrown hair just so the damn things can sprout. I’m more comfortable with myself if I just let it grow like a forest. TMI, I just do light gardening on my lady bits, as the only times I shaved I’ve successfully summoned the fires of hell into my crotch. So help me If I ever shave my bikini line too high. And my actual hair? I keep it short just because of how thick and heavy it actually is. Most of the time It’s a mohawk that curls and sticks up by itself.
I also have had a problem with facial hair. When I was younger I slowly started to realize I was the only girl I’d ever seen who had stubble on their chin and lip as well as eyebrows the size of caterpillers. I heard girls gossiping about how gross it was that they’d seen a teacher with one dark hair, and the panic struck. My mother at first tried to get it waxed, and it worked but was painful. She saw it might be a genetic issue, so used her doctor powers to get me laser treatments. Let me tell you, it was a month of hell. Nothing like the zap of burning electricity and then the smell of burned hair and flesh in your nose (and did I mention it left me with a big red mustache over my lip for about an hour after?)
Oh. The laser treatment never ended up working.
But today, I’m happy. I preen myself, and the only problem I have is the weekly moments of panic when I touch my chin or lip and realize someone might nose the minuscule hair poking out. I let my hair grow, and only chop down the trees once in a while. Sometimes I’m girly, but most of the time I’m manly as hell and my friends treat me as such.
I love my body, even with it’s thick hair and it’s lumpy tummy. I love my squishy butt, and holy shit I adore my eyebrows and no one can stop me. Also, I’ve got a dark little happy trail that is my pride and joy.
No one should ever, EVER feel wrong. My hair is genetic. It’s not chosen, and because of that no one has the right to tease you. Not your parents, not your family, not even your friends. not some man on the street looking you up and down like a piece of meat and flinching once they see your legs under your shorts. Not some woman who can’t keep her snarky comment down her throat. No one.
My hair is beautiful and a love it! BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!
Over the past couple of years I have lost a lot of weight, after being overweight my entire life. Because of this, there’s a few things I need to get used to. For example, the other day, I went to get a new bra because my old one was 2 sizes too big. But, even when I was bigger, my breasts were still tiny in proportion to the rest of my body. It’s strange especially coming from a family where the women are all fairly big chested. I remember being teased in school and by friends growing up and I had internalized it all for years. Most of the time my small breasts and wide rib cage make me feel insecure and less feminine than my female counterparts. But yesterday, I felt beautiful and it was amazing. I remember just the day before I was struggling a little bit, but this lovely girl on tumblr sent me a nice message telling me I’m “pretty” and you know what? I think it helped. I think that just those few simple kind words were enough to allow myself one self hate free day. I guess you never know how much you can really affect someone else with just a few words. So, the next time you might be afraid to message anyone on here, just go for it. They may need it more than you’ll ever know. Anyway, each day is different and sometimes they are good and sometimes not so much. But, I am making an effort to have more good days than bad.If that means dancing around and singing along to my favorite songs in my underwear, then that’s what I will do.
P.S. All of you who submit to this blog are fucking beautiful and so inspiring and have made me unafraid to finally submit myself, so thank you! :)
P.P.S. I would love to talk with all of you lovely people! http://forgettingregret.tumblr.com/
TW: EATING DISORDER AND SELF HARM
Sorry for the awkward mirror shot. I didnt have anyone to take the picture
I have always been the ‘tall girl’. Now at 20 years old, I’m a whooping 6’1” — Taller than my dad and most of the men I know. Being tall and slightly overweight as a child and teenager really took a toll on me. Light teasing when I was younger really got to me. My family would joke and call me every name in the book— “Beanpole”, “Giant” and my personal favorite: “The Jolly Green Giant”. Boys never wanted to dance with me at school dances, and I was always too scared to sit on someone’s lap due to my fear of crushing them. I felt self conscious because I could never borrow clothes from my petite friends and I couldn’t shop at the cute trendy stores that they did because nothing fit me. I had to stand in the back for every school and group photo. I distinctly remember my high school drama teacher telling me that I was ‘too tall’ to play the female lead, because I would look too awkward. In middle school, the boy I liked said he ‘would go out with me if I weren’t so tall.” I was devastated. I would slouch all the time in order for people to think I was shorter than I was. In 8th grade I started cutting and in 9th, I developed bulimia. When I was 16 I entered into a psychiatric treatment facility and thanks to the help of anti depressants, an amazing family and a wonder therapist I have things more or less under control. Although I still find myself self conscious of my height, I have become more and more I stand out wherever I go. Today, I bought my first pair of heels (although you cant see them in the pic) In these shoes I’m probably around 6’5” and I feel so powerful and amazing.
I’m here if any of you guys want to talk
I’ve always been skinny. I got bullied in school for about 6 years, until I was 15 and changed schools. I got called ugly all the time, and frequently got asked whether I was anorexic. One of the kids who bullied me even told me that I had an awful looking nose and I should get surgery. We were both about 13 at the time. How fucked up is that?
Because of the bullying, I’ve had self-esteem issues for as long as I remember. Because I got called ugly all the time, I ended up believing that I was the ugliest girl in school — no, the ugliest girl in the whole world! Puberty came along and all the girls started developing, and I stayed skinny, with the tiniest hint of hips and breasts. Most of my friends made fun of my tiny breasts. I also realized while growing up that I had a bit more body hair than most girls my age (probably not noticeable in the photo), which made me extremely insecure. I haven’t gone to the beach and much less worn a swimsuit since I was 13.
I was extremely insecure. I felt that I didn’t look like a “real woman” because I was skinny. I felt that I was a freak because everyone kept repeating that I was too thin. I thought that I couldn’t be sexy because I couldn’t get a cleavage, or because every other girl looked more voluptuous under their clothes than I did. People say that accepting compliments helps in feeling better with your body, but what good is that when no one compliments you?
I’m now 18 and I’m slowly starting to change the way I view myself. First, who the hell decided I was ugly? Some kids? Who cares? Who decides which certain features make someone “ugly” anyway? What makes small breasts worse than bigger ones, or vice-versa? Why is being thin better than being fat, or vice-versa? It just doesn’t make sense. Who makes the rules, and under what logic? Why should there be any rules at all?
Fuck that. I’m not ugly. No one is ugly just because some kid or some magazine says so. No one has to alter their body to fit anyone’s standards!
And yet, I still don’t fully accept myself. I often catch myself wishing I had a curvier body or bigger breasts, but whenever that happens, I try to rationalize. Would different breasts make me more beautiful? Would they make my life any different? Of course not. I don’t need my breasts to change to be happy. I can be happy just by accepting myself, because there’s nothing wrong with the way I look.There’s nothing wrong with the way anyone looks!
You know, I never used to like my body. That’s how my eating disorder started. I would do anything possible to get to the ‘perfect weight’, and I never reached it. The reason why? It didn’t exist. I was always going to want to lose more, to get the number lower. I then developed a bingeing habit that caused me to gain all of that weight back. I hated my body even more than before my eating disorder started. I wouldn’t want to leave my room because I was so ashamed of myself. I would skip school and hoard food in my room so no one had to see me. I then put all of my effort into recovering because I wanted a normal life again. Because my desire to recover was so strong, I was able to recover. One of my favorite non-physical attributes is that I am able to do anything I put my mind to. Recovering was one of my greatest accomplishments. I now love my body and I love to wear clothes that make me feel great. Fashion is something that I didn’t used to care about because all I wanted to do was cover my body up. Now, I love coming up with new outfits to wear and I feel good in them. I feed not only my body, but also my soul. I do things I love, like gymnastics. I eat things I love, like ice cream. I think it’s important to feed both your stomach and your mind. Once I did that, I gained so much confidence in myself that led me to that amazing life I had always dreamed of. Loving yourself is a lot easier than hating yourself, plus it’s more fun. Stay strong and believe in yourself.
This was taken about a month ago. I have just been put on new anti-depressants, which seem to be doing the job, as I am doing so so much better in myself, but they have had the effect of making my appetite huge. I have gained weight over this time, and it has taken a lot of mental space for me to come to terms with this, as I have always had to work at being comfortable with myself. One evening I was struggling to find a single positive in what I saw in the mirror, so my girlfriend wrote every word she could think of to describe me, and took a photo to show me. When I posted it, it reached over a thousand notes, with people telling me I am strong.
I don’t always feel strong.
It is going to take a long time for me not to cry when I see myself in the mirror, but I am worth that time. I am worth the energy it will take to be okay with myself again, because the reason my body is changing is because I am getting happier.
And that is the most important thing.
I am not just my body. I am smart and funny and thoughtful and kind. I am not defined by a number on the scales.
I am a photographer, in my third year, in London.
I wanted my final major project to be a project about body esteem. We have such a slim view of what bodies are supposed to look like, and it’s all a lie. My project is about acceptance, seeing the beauty without retouching, without posing, without make-up, you, are naturally beautiful. Every single goddamn one of you.
This is me, sitting for my own project, because what sort of person would I be preaching a message I couldn’t believe? I may not be 100% happy with my body, but I love it regardless.
If there are any London based people who would be interested in modelling for me next year, please send me an ask!
I went through a huge growth spurt in 8th grade and to my dismay found stretch marks growing along my thighs. I went through much of my life trying to hide them, guys would tell me to my face that stretch marks were gross because they would never have thought that I would have them.
Every summer all my friends would go swimming in their cute bikinis and I would wear basketball shorts to hide my insecurity and I would go on body image blogs to try to make myself feel better but all the stretch mark posts seemed to be from girls who were bigger than I was. I felt that not “thin” girls had them, I would slyly check my friends bodies when we would change or just ask them but all of them didnt have any.
Then last summer I said “fuck it” I wanted to wear cute shorts (like the ones imaged above) and I did. It made me more confident that I didnt have to hide something and you know what? In the end stretch marks dont matter to guys. The summer I wore those shorts I got a boyfriend and we are still dating. I realized that we all have things we dont like about ourselves but that shouldnt hold us back, when I didnt hide my insecurity anymore I was able to have more confidence, I still get shy when I can tell someone is looking at them but I get past it. My body is my body and there are a ton of girls than have stretch marks just like me, there is no reason to be ashamed of something that makes up who you are.
I guess my point in submitting this is so that other girls can see that people of all body types and ages have stretch marks and that it is okay. Go out and go swimming or dancing and shake that ass regardless of its stretch marks and I will be right there dancing alongside you.
This is I think my second post on here. I have struggled a lot over the years with anxiety issues and bad body image, I have just always been a self conscious person. I have found it very hard to fit in at school and at university and I didn’t treat myself very nicely. I have gone through phases where I have stopped eating for weeks on end to the point that I am going to pass out and have harmed myself pretty badly.
It got to the point in my life where I had to make a decision; either carry on in this misery with the knowledge that it will eventually consume me and I will have no way out, or finally stand up for myself and be proud of what I have accomplished, I managed to get through university despite being in a bad place and leave with a good degree and get a job. For the first time in my life I am going to start putting myself first because I deserve it. I want people to know that what other people think about you is not the only thing and they shouldn’t run your lives.
Today is the first day I am going to start living for myself and start being proud of who I am, because that is important. Today I will start trying to love myself.
If anyone ever wants to talk or just need someone You can always talk to me: madnesscarrymehome.tumblr.com
I’m so proud of what I have accomplished over the past 11 months. I’ve had major ups and downs, I’m still battling my depression and PMDD, but I’m a hundred times more confident and happy than I ever thought I could be.
I never would have dreamed I could love my body the way I do now. Hopefully I’ll be getting a tattoo to symbolize the love I have for myself and what I’ve been through, not just from the past 11 months, but through my entire life.
The quote that my tattoo will be based off of, and also something that completely changed my life:
I’ve been “fat" my whole life.
Yes, I enjoy food.
I sometimes eat too many cookies.
I will never have a thigh gap.
And I am just fine with this.
Something I’m not fine with, is the hatred of fat bodies,
Especially when it’s your own.
My mother has never loved her body.
I doubt she ever will.
My grandmother damaged my mom and my aunt badly.
They are both very particular about food.
My grandmother believes health coincides with weight.
She eats treats all day but doesn’t gain weight, So she must be healthy.
My mom barely eats at all, just protein and meal replacement shakes.
My grandmother doesn’t even realize why her daughters are so insecure.
With some luck, love, and as much confidence as I can muster,
I can break this cycle.
I do not want my daughter feeling ashamed of her body.
Afraid to eat in front of anyone.
Afraid to eat at all.
I’ve been there, It’s not worth it.
There is so much more to life than the number on the scale,
Or what you see in the mirror.
You owe nothing to no one but yourself.
Not your mom, not your dad, not your grandma.
Eat cake. Be happy.
hey im tere im 15, im from mexico, I always had self-esteem problems, i struggled with self-harm almost for 2 years because i have never been “thin” and every day is dificult, but everyday I try to love myself a little bit more, cause i dont need to be thin to be beautiful i just have to me be. All my life i have been in differents diets so they teach me how to eat, but they had never teach me how to love myself.
So dont worry about how youre in the outside, because someday someone will love you for whats is inside, but you have to start with loving yourself fiste! LOVE YOU GUYS
I was recently at a gathering with some friends. Much to my delight, the topic of fat-positivity/body-positivity was brought up. This social movement toward body acceptance really inspires me, and the thought of connecting with some ladies I didn’t know too well over this topic was exciting. So to the one who brought it up, I said,
"Hey that’s really cool that you’re into that, I’m always checking out body-positive blogs!"
Unfortunately the response I got was not one I was expecting, she scoffed at me, mumbling a “Yeah.”
As if I would have any use for body positivity, or could possibly fathom what it felt like to have insecurities about my body, right?
I gave her a strange look, and then the other friend who had invited me said,
"Do you ever see any really skinny girls on those blogs?" or something to that effect.
I suddenly became acutely aware of something I had completely ignored up until this point. I was one of two “really skinny girls”, among four larger girls.
“I haven’t seen any myself, but I would assume there are since it’s BODY positivity, so all body types are welcome.”
“Yeah..” was her response.
I was fairly taken aback as I had never thought anyone would question my “need” for supporting or being involved in this movement in this way. It was more than obvious that they either did not understand my interest in this movement, or straight up thought that I had no right to be involved in it or to discuss it. I’m a “really skinny girl” right? What the hell could I possibly gain from reading about/sharing experiences with other people and their struggles? I’m skinny, so I clearly have never struggled a damn day in my life! WTF?
I really wish I had said more, that I had given her the earful she deserved for making me feel like I had no place talking about body positivity. It was fucking hurtful to be responded to like that, especially since one of them is a close friend.
This is what I wish I had said:
So, what, because I’m skinny, I’m not allowed to be insecure?
Because you’re “fat” and I’m not, you’re allowed to put me down because of my size? How is that not hypocrisy?
You live in society, you should know that it functions to make people completely dismember themselves and analyze the pieces to shit. So if that’s the case, you should know that regardless of my being “skinny”, there are plenty of other areas I put myself down for.
I have really bad skin, and I always have.
I have a flat chest, and constantly worry if a special someone I may be getting close to will be turned off by my breasts when I take my clothes off.
Those are two things you cannot currently relate to. But I would never tell you how to feel or how to conduct yourself based on the way you look.
Also, all throughout high school, and into my early 20’s, I engaged in self-harm. That was how I dealt with any anger or shame I was feeling that I couldn’t bear. So yeah, there’s another struggle that this “really skinny girl” indeed went through.
It is very hard for me not to feel angry as I recount this situation. But I know that underneath my hurt feelings and the anger, that I can understand where she’s coming from. That doesn’t make it hurt any less.
I am a lanky girl, because my father’s side of the family is lanky. My bone structure is such that even if I am a bit chunkier, overall I still have a thin look to me, I am also 6’ tall so I have an overall tall and slender look. Ok, so what? Does that make me less deserving of comfort or reassurance because what could I possibly have to be insecure about? No. Not even one bit.
FYI: My slender build coupled with my flat chest has often made me hyperaware of being too thin. When I’m keeping on top of my health, working out, yeah I’m quite thin. I have worried that men won’t find me attractive because I don’t have that voluptuous, curve to my body. I am sure many on here can relate to switching between, “Ugh I’m too fat” and “Ugh, I’m so bony”. It’s not fun, and I start to wonder, when do I get to love my body? And I realize that it’s when I choose to. She’s the only body I have, and I would never hate another the way I am so often guilty of hating myself! So I try each day to love who I am regardless of what other people may think.
This is an obstacle with all social movements: to stop directing anger at those individuals who in one way or another fit in to societal standards as if that fact puts them in allegiance with the ubiquitous harmful societal messages about physicality. IT DOES NOT. This is just society getting in between people, still! Divide and conquer! There will always be people who don’t fit into society’s standards and those who do, and the real struggle is for EVERYONE to look past this aspect of EVERYONE ELSE because it’s utterly meaningless compared to WHO THEY ARE.
Every single person deals with their own struggles, every single person has their own insecurities, their own story, their own past and present. Nobody has the right to make another feel less-than, because of a characteristic of who they are that they have little to no control over.
We all must JOIN FORCES! Peace and love! <333
Hello, Tumblr! My name is Kris, that’s my face up there ^^, and this is my second time submitting to SHYB. While I have come a long way in some areas of my life since first submitting, there are still things that I struggle with and that’s okay.
I think a lot of us have this notion that the ultimate goal is to have no hang ups about our bodies and how we perceive ourselves, but I think that’s along the same lines as striving for perfection. Perfection is unattainable.
Being comfortable in your own skin doesn’t mean feeling absolutely great about yourself 100% of the time; it means striving for peace with oneself, but it also means knowing and accepting that there will be some moments when things are less than perfect, state of mind included.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that self-acceptance is certainly not easy, and it is okay and perfectly normal to struggle. Struggling is part of the journey, so don’t be discouraged by it!
I want to end with something I’m looking forward to; I registered for my last semester of college recently, and one of the classes I signed up for was yoga. I’m very excited to delve into the practice and to build upon the relationship between my mind and body. :)
Thanks for reading! I wish all of you guys the best in your endeavors!