Posts tagged woc
Posts tagged woc
I’m getting used to the fact that I will probably always be fat - and that’s perfectly fine with me. I’m accepting that I’m still gorgeous, and that my beauty is enhanced by the jiggling of my thighs and the rolls on my back. I’M A BODY LOVING WARRIOR.
TW: Molestation, Self Bashing, Depression, Suicidal
Hey there my name is Taja Brianne. I’m 24 years old and I weigh 202 (B: 46W:35H: 50). I’ve always been EXTREMELY insecure about the way I look (I’m a self basher and suffer from severe depression and anxiety) from my hair to my Feet, I’ve never liked the way I look. I thought I was so ugly (still do), And it didn’t help that Something very tragic happened to me and my family 2 years ago that really made me feel even more worthless and insecure (which I didn’t think could even happen) . Anyways Let me back up and start from the beginning so you can get the gist of what I’m talking about.
Okay so ever since I was a kid was always getting bullied and was treated very badly by damn near everyone around me. My father (who is an alcoholic and drug addict) verbally and physically abused me for a long time telling me that I was stupid and that I would never be shit and that I was a piece of shit.. My mother neglected me for a very long time because of her vices as well and it was very hard for me to deal with. . I started developing at age 7, so by the time I was in 3rd grade I had C cups. I was also taller than everyone else in my class for a minuet as well so I always was getting made fun of. I never thought I was pretty at all, in fact I thought I was the ugliest kid ever. When I was in the 6th grade I had a girl call me ugly in front of the whole class and I broke down and cried for almost an hour it was so bad that the teacher had to calm me down. I felt so worthless and insecure, in 10th grade my mom messed up my hair so bad I had to cut all of my hair off. I went to school the next day bald… I didn’t get made fun of too much for it (I actually look really good bald lol) but still when the people did talk about my hair it really got to me. Also my lack of friends didn’t help and the fact that I’m socially awkward, I am a loner (not by choice btw) so I don’t have any friends (even today) all of my friends just stopped talking to me like I wasn’t good enough for them or they all ended up leaving me (by moving) so that was a big blow to my self esteem. When I was in the 11th grade I ended up transferring schools and I ended up meeting the one person who would end up eventually destroying my life and self esteem in the process.
We met two weeks after I transferred and ended up falling in love (hard). He was my whole world; I gave everything to him… my whole life. All my friends were his friends, he did everything for me. I became completely dependent on him for everything. I even moved out of my parent’s house to live with him when I was 17. I thought we were going to be together for the rest of our lives. We were together for 7 years (till 2011), I found out he cheated on me 3 days after our 7 year anniversary. It devastated me and made me feel so ugly, worthless, and not good enough. I felt like I deserved it because I was fat and ugly and useless. So we broke up but we were still talking and having sex occasionally. I was so in love with him. I loved him unconditionally (and I still do). He treated me like shit and said some horrible things to me after we broke up and I let him because I felt like I wasn’t worth a damn anyways and I knew what he was saying to me was true anyways (because that’s how I felt) so it was whatever. He made me feel like he was the only one who would ever want me and to this day I still believe that. In September 28th, 2011, 7 months after we broke up was the day that my life changed.
I was talking to my 15 year old sister (at the time) about my relationship with my ex and how we were going to get back together. She had a hostile look on her face so I asked her what she had against my ex and she wouldn’t answer me. I kept asking her to tell me why she didn’t like him and finally after 10 minuets she told me. I found out that he had been sexually molesting her for the past three years (since she was 12!) …..I was in shock. I couldn’t fathom this ever happening. I ran out the house screaming and crying, I couldn’t cope with what was happening. I called and confronted him but he denied it at first…I couldn’t take it. I immediately started self bashing saying “oh how could you be so fucking stupid” “you’re a horrible person”…That night I tried to commit suicide by OD (I’ve always been suicidal since I was a kid, this was my 5th attempt) I ended up being rushed in an ambulance to the hospital and then I was sent to a mental hospital and put on suicide watch. Those were the darkest days of my life. I felt so empty, guilty, pitiful and irresponsible. I couldn’t think really all I did was self bash the whole time “of course he would cheat on you, just look at you you’re a fucking ugly ass loser” “wow you’re so ugly he went running to your younger sister, you really are a fucking loser”. I would say those things to myself all the time after that. I was heart broken, I couldn’t believe that the one person I decided to put all my trust into after tearing down that big wall I had built to protect myself would hurt me like this and fucked up my life! So from that point on I have been struggling to love myself and build up my self esteem. Some days I can’t even move because I’m so mad at myself because I gave up everything for him, I left college for him, I never worked because he took care of me. I don’t have any friends at all because all the people I hung out with were his friends and I couldn’t talk to them at all after this because it was too painful. I just let my life wither away for a person who…I don’t even know anymore. Now I’m finding it difficult to function by myself. Most days I don’t leave the house except for my morning power walk. I used to be an artist, but I don’t draw anymore because I’m so depressed. I’m trying to love myself while picking up the broken pieces of my heart. Some days I’m really suicidal because I’m thinking about my future and it looks bleak, I’m trying to break the bad habit I have of relying on men to make me feel good about myself but it is difficult because it’s all I’ve ever known. I’ve lost 30 lbs and I still don’t think I am beautiful enough for anybody to ever want to be my friend or love me again. It’s a constant struggle and some days I don’t think I’m going to make it, but I pray and ask god for guidance and he has helped me through this difficult period in my life. I’m becoming a stronger and better person and hopefully I will get over this and finally learn to love myself as unconditionally as I love others. Me and my sister are going through this together since in affected both of our lives, she is my support (along with my mother).
This blog and others have also helped me become a little more confident with my self image. So thank you and remember we all go through hard times, but god loves us and thinks we are all BEAUTIFUL.
Since I was nine, I’ve had breasts. Big ones. I am currently a 34 DDD, and growing.
I catch a lot of shit for how big they are, how other girls would kill to have them, how beautiful they are, how lucky I am… but I don’t think the people that say those things understand the constant pain and humiliation I am in. I have back problems, neck pain, severe headaches, among other things. I don’t know if you can see the extent of the chafing and indents in the pictures (please ignore my shitty tattoo I got when I was 18), but they look a lot worse in person. It’s red and bruised under my boobs, on my shoulders, on my back, and my sides. The pictures that I put up are from wearing my bra for just a few hours. I have to save up money for a whole year to be able to buy a bra that usually costs about $50-75 dollars- something that I can’t afford as a student living off of financial aid.
People want to touch them, they ask if they’re real, random strangers- women and men- come up to me and comment on them.
“Wow girl, you really are boob-a-licious”
“How do you walk straight?”
“Can you put those away?”
“Sorry if I keep looking down, those things are really distracting”
“Why would you want to get them reduced??? They’re awesome!!!”.
I get blamed for showing them off, being a tease, looking like a slut. Do you know how freaking hard it is to buy nice clothes that don’t show some cleavage with boobs this big? Yeah.
It’s something that I’ve hated about myself for years and years and years. I’m getting a lot better, and am really starting to love myself again.. I just want people to understand that this isn’t fun for me. That I didn’t ask for these, so don’t tell me to be “thankful that God blessed me”.
So, just.. think. Okay? Before you start telling a girl how hot she is because of her tits. Or before you say anything, really. Because maybe that’s not what she wants to be remembered for.
I’m the one in the blue pants. Ive always been underweight. I was born with a heart condition and the medicine I take for it decreases my appetite, and I have a naturally fast metabolism. I’ve been a size 0-2 (depending on the store/brand) I still get judged for being so thin. People constantly ask me if I ever eat, they tell me i need to gain weight as if I already didn’t know
In middle school during lunch one day, some one threw a half eaten cheese burger at my table. Then thew a piece of paper that said “learn to eat bitch.” I’ve never been the kind of person that can eat a lot of food in one sitting. I eat as much as I can through out the day. In fact, in middle school, I had to eat something every hour because of medicine and the side effects being dizziness. Long story short, I’ve always been very thin and judged and ridiculed for it.
My best friend is next to me. In elementary and middle school she was always chubby. She was called fat and teased relentlessly. In high school the weight started coming off, she ate healthy and exercised and was on her churches basket ball team. By 10th grade she lost a lot of weight, she was a size 3. With stress in school and other elements she gained weight again. Her wight has always fluctuated but she was always content with her body and people would call her coincided. though she isn’t, shes just confident.
I wish people would just stop body shaming others, I wish everyone was comfortable in their own skin. There is no such thing as ‘the perfect body’
Perfection is a lie.
My name is Jessica, and I can officially and happily say that I am fully recovered from suffering of anorexia for a little bit over two years.
For around 730 days of my life, I hated every bit of me. I hated my skin color, my body, my face, my voice, my hair…. And for what reason? Because a bunch of good for nothings made me feel like I wasn’t worthy to live because I was fat, Black, had a deep voice for a girl, and my hair was natural.
But, for in another 730 days, I realized that I AM worthy of living because of all those things. I pushed away all my self-loathing thoughts away and replaced them with loving praises of myself from my own point of view and others. It took me nearly that amount of time to be comfortable enough to look in the mirror without crying. I jumped on the wagon of self acceptance, love, and happiness of recovery from my anorexia, and even though the road was bump and I fell off a few times, I got right back on and kept going.
I reached the light a month ago, when I had a sudden realization that I am a beautiful human being, no matter what my body size is or the color of my skin. Sticks and stones may break my bones but disgusting, jealous fucks who try to bring me down won’t hurt me ever again.
We’re all beautiful, and we don’t need One Direction to let us know that! Cherish what you have as a person and that you are the only you in the ENTIRE universe! Flaunt your inner self and if people don’t like it, fuck ‘em! You only need you, yourself, and YOU.
I’ve heard stories of ugly ducklings turning into beautiful swans. I’ve heard stories of girls who looked like their mothers blossoming into carbon copies of hereditary. I’ve heard people tell me “You’re pretty…for a fat girl.” I’ve heard people tell me, “You’re pretty…for a dark-skinned girl.” And then, I’ve heard people say nothing at all. I’ve been told to lose weight. I’ve been told to exercise. I’ve been told to shave my legs and my underarms and to get my hair permed and to always sit up straight and to use proper posture. To sit lady-like. To act lady-like. To feed into this standard of beautiful that I don’t even quite understand.
Audre Lorde came to me in a dream. She left me with a quote I would always remember. Subsequent to when I was about to seriously break down in my own skin and body, she left me with this: If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.
I began defining myself this year. Finding the right words is often hard, and competing with society’s insight as to what beauty is supposed to look like is even harder.
But I’m getting there, and I feel like that’s all that matters.
keep calm, and wear less clothes.
I’ve spent so many years feeling uncomfortable with my body. And today as I was getting ready for my 11 o’ clock class I realized I shouldn’t be. It’s my personality that defines who I am not how big or small I may be. Ya know thinking about it now, about six months ago i would have never thought about submitting a photo to a blog like this or any other blog and I feel as if this is a really big step for me and I am honestly incredibly proud of myself.
It’s been brought to my attention that on certain submissions to SHYB, tags have been messing up. More specifically, certain submissions are being tagged with every tag that we offer, including those that are inappropriate for posts (such as mtf/ftm for cis submissions)
I think this is a tumblr glitch and not anyone trying to be purposely hurtful, but I wanted to say that going forward we’re going to keep an eye on what tags get published with what submission. We have no intentions on invading people’s safe spaces and I feel horrible that it’s happened.
Users tag their own submissions, we mods do not add tags to any submissions, but at our discretion if we feel a tag is inappropriate, we will remove it.
Right now it seems to be happening on random posts, some are links that people have submitted, some are just regular submissions. I haven’t found any common thread yet in the posts this has been happening in.
So this is my apology to anyone who is rightfully upset that posts have been popping up in tags that shouldn’t be there. It certainly wasn’t intentional, and if you see it happening, please call us out on it so we can fix it! Thank you to those who have brought it to our attention!
“Paracetamol legends I know
For rising fevers, as pain-relievers—
Of my people—father’s father’s mother’s
Mother, dark lush hair caressing her ankles
Sometimes, sweeping earth, deep-honey skin,
Amber eyes—not beauty alone they say—she
Married a man who murdered thirteen men and one
Lonely summer afternoon her rice-white teeth tore
Through layers of khaki, and golden white skin to spill
The bloodied guts of a British soldier who tried to colonize her…
Of my land—uniform blue open skies,
Mad-artist palettes of green lands and lily-filled lakes that
Mirror all—not peace or tranquil alone, he shudders—some
Young woman near my father’s home, with a drunken husband
Who never changed; she bore his beatings everyday until on one
Stormy night, in fury, she killed him by stomping his seedbags…
We: their daughters.
We: the daughters of their soil.
We, mostly, write.”
- Their daughters by Meena Kandasamy
DETROIT - About 50 people showed up Sept. 21 for the launch of Who’s That Girl, a media project presented by the Horizons Project and supported by the Michigan Department of Community Health’s Health Disparities Reduction Minority Health Section. The project, which includes images of four young transgender women, is a marketing effort to change media and societal perceptions of the transgender community.
“The purpose of the campaign is to provide understanding about HIV, especially in the trans community,” said Bre’ Campbell, the project’s coordinator. “A lot of times, when AIDS messages are put out they do not include trans women.”
All of the women featured in the campaign are under the age of 25 and active in the community. Campbell said they illustrate that “regardless of what society thinks about trans women, they are smart, they are successful, they are educated and they are loved.”
The Horizons Project launched the campaign at a reception at Wayne State University’s Student Center. About 50 people attended, and after they ate and had an opportunity to view the images, they were witness to a very informative panel discussion featuring the four women who comprise the campaign.
“If you look at the photos, it shows that even though we are in some ways different, we are still human and can still blend in,” said Sahray Arnold. “Even though we’re not all the same, we’re all the same inside and we’re all of value.”
Mia Cole said she believes society at large is misinformed about trans women and only knows what they see on trash TV.
“Everyone thinks transgender women are what you see on Jerry Springer and that’s not it,” she said. “We don’t walk down the street snatching our wigs off. We’re very smart and intelligent. You shouldn’t reject the unfamiliar because we have a lot to offer.”
A fashion model and harpist, WSU student Ahya Simone said she hopes to help change society’s perception of trans women.
“I take joy in educating people about women like me,” Simone said. “There are few [images] out there and I want to be that face. I just want to be a role model for girls like us, and women in general.”
Not all discrimination comes from outside sources, though. The women all shared that they were often marginalized by others in the LGBT community.
“The ‘T’ is in there,” said Krystina Edwards. “So I’m gonna need the L, the G, and the B to embrace us.”
The images in the campaign were all shot by photographer Jhordan Haliburton.
“At first I was kind of nervous about it because it was my first professional photo shoot,” he said. “But they came out great. I love them. They came out very wonderful.”
Look for images from the campaign to appear in the pages of Between The Lines soon.
(Jason A. Michael, Originally printed 9/27/2012, Issue 2039 - Between The Lines News)
YOU BETTAH WERQ!
I grew up fat.
I struggled with my weight since the day I first realized that being a fat girl was “not accepted.” Last year, I decided to dedicate myself to the religion I was raised in, Islam. Two months ago, I decided to dedicate to wearing hijab, the Islamic headscarf and dress code of covering your shape. In these past two months, I have learned to love myself more and more. My body is my own business, and no one should be allowed to judge me for it. I will always be fat, it’s in my genes. It would be unhealthy for me to get “skinny,” and at this point in my life, I don’t care. I am me and I am free.
I know this is a pretty “unusual” way to love one’s body, but I love it for me and I support everyone that learns to love themselves, no matter how they do it. Best Wishes to all! <3
First of all, I think everyone who submits here is brave. One thing I’ve always struggled with is body acceptance. I used to have an eating disorder, I then gained a lot of weight quickly from anti depressants and it’s just been a roller coaster. I’ve been through a lot. Abusive mom, abusive relationship with my boyfriend, severe depression, but I came out on top. Being young, a woc, bisexual and extremely liberal in a family like mine also isn’t the easiest. I’m not gonna say it’s over, but I’ve learned to deal. Even if I’m not making much progress in things like losing weight, I get up in the morning and I get active, I eat breakfast, I cook my meals, it makes me feel really good! I think that I’m in a good spot right now, and even though I know I’m overweight, I know that does not define me. The fact that I’ve gotten through rough parts of my life pretty much unscathed does. I’m proud of me, and I’m proud of any other person that is taking steps to being a happier person. Regardless of what anyone else feels. I’m always around if anyone wants to talk or has other things going on in their life that they just need to feel better about. Trust me, I’ve seen a lot.