This is a place of encouragement, a place to discuss body image, insecurities, self-esteem, and everything under the umbrella of fighting self-hate and finding self-love.

No matter what you look like, what color, what gender, sexual orientation, what size or however many "flaws", healthy, not healthy, working on it, abled, disabled, we are all human, we all deserve to be happy, we all deserve to love ourselves. With this blog you will see all kinds of REAL bodies, REAL people, REAL stories.

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-BE AWARE some posts may be triggering depending on submissions, check for trigger warnings and tags. Also any harassment will be met with blocking and a report to Tumblr Support

 

1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…” Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds?” You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.
2. Judging Other People’s Clothes While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style.The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she’s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don’t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.
3. Making It an ‘Us vs. Them’ Thing The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.
4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it’s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.
5. Making Up Body Parts We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.
6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight You don’t know a person’s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she’ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn’t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment.
7. Using Pretend Compliments “You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive — a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone’s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting, so also out the door are, “Does this make me look fat?” and “I look so fat!” when you are a size 2.
8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.

9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?

10. Playing Dietitian If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn’t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don’t do it). How do you know she’s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?
(taken from http://www.ivillage.com/guilty-15-ways-we-body-shame-without-knowing)


1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…” 

Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds?” You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.

2. Judging Other People’s Clothes 
While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style.The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she’s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don’t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.

3. Making It an ‘Us vs. Them’ Thing 
The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.

4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”
Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it’s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.

5. Making Up Body Parts 
We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.

6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight 
You don’t know a person’s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she’ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn’t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment.

7. Using Pretend Compliments 
“You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive — a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone’s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting, so also out the door are, “Does this make me look fat?” and “I look so fat!” when you are a size 2.

8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines 
One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.

9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines 
A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?

10. Playing Dietitian 
If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn’t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don’t do it). How do you know she’s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?

(taken from http://www.ivillage.com/guilty-15-ways-we-body-shame-without-knowing)

size10plz:

What are thigh gaps and why you probably aren’t going to get one from weight loss
If you have been apart of tumblr for long enough or have wanted to lose weight at some point while on tumblr you’d notice a lot of blogs in the “thinspiration” community have a desire for thigh gaps. 
What is a thigh gap you may ask? Essentially it’s a gap between a persons thighs, preferably desired by women.
Why do people want one?
No idea

Chances are if you are trying to get one by losing weight for whatever reason then you may not be able to get it.
“BUT WHY?!” you may cry. Very simple, my dear person. It’s all about your skeleton.

You cannot change the structure of your skeleton very easily (and it would be painful if you could. For example: child birth)
Some people are naturally able to have a thigh gap at a certain size, but that doesn’t automatically mean that you have to very thin. People who are at different sizes can have them but can every fit/thin person have one? No
Fact of the matter is that you probably won’t get one and it’s not a big deal. You don’t die if you don’t have one, and no one really cares about them as much as you do persons-who-want-a-thigh-gap-who-is-reading-this. Well, unless you’re this guy

There are two main reasons for why you probably won’t get one even if you lose weight.
One reason why you won’t get one is because of your hips. If you have narrow hips it’ll be a bit harder to obtain. Here are some examples


You can’t really change your genetics or bone structure…so…
Although, some of you might be thinking “fuck yeah! I have wide hips I’m going to get a thigh gap!!”

Sorry but that also might not be the case. The second reason for why you probably won’t get one is because of your legs. Let me explain a bit.
This is what the leg bones look like when you’re standing

So because your femurs are going in-ward like the image above it would be difficult to obtain a thigh gap even if you have wide hips. Also considering that you also have muscle, skin, fat, veins, around your bones to make, well, legs. It would be hard to achieve it. You need these things to you know, move. 
Also remember that people on tumblr stick out their butts, straighten their legs, bending forward with their heels apart, or stand with their feet wider apart for the illusion for a thigh gap in these photos. So really, if they can’t have one naturally what’s the chances of you having one? Here is a great example 

If you’re worried about chafing then a quick google search will show you that there are ways to remedy one without achieving a thigh gap. Remember that sometimes every-ones skin is different as well. Some are more or less sensitive than others. So having a thigh gap isn’t an automatic answer to not have any chafing. Many people in my life don’t have thigh gaps and they have no issues with rashes or chafing. 
If you’re still wanting a thigh gap despite of what I said you can get one easily by standing like peter pan and walk like that for the rest of your life.

Which goes to show that a thigh gap can be very relative of how you stand.
If you’re still wanting a thigh gap because you see models and other girls in the media having one just remember that the super thin body type portrayed by women in the media only effects 5% of the population. The standards are only getting tighter since 20 years ago models weighed 8% less than a healthy weight and now it’s 23% less than a healthy weight.
Why throw away your health to try and obtain something that most people don’t naturally have? You’re in trouble if you’re going to forgo your health for the sake of something that isn’t obtainable by most human standards.

I feel the need to add that having a thigh gap is perfectly fine, there’s nothing wrong with it—it’s just something most people don’t have. Just like there’s nothing wrong with being a size 0, it’s just not something that’s realistic for most people.
Very informative post, though :)

size10plz:

What are thigh gaps and why you probably aren’t going to get one from weight loss

If you have been apart of tumblr for long enough or have wanted to lose weight at some point while on tumblr you’d notice a lot of blogs in the “thinspiration” community have a desire for thigh gaps. 

What is a thigh gap you may ask? Essentially it’s a gap between a persons thighs, preferably desired by women.

Why do people want one?

No idea

image

Chances are if you are trying to get one by losing weight for whatever reason then you may not be able to get it.

“BUT WHY?!” you may cry. Very simple, my dear person. It’s all about your skeleton.

image

You cannot change the structure of your skeleton very easily (and it would be painful if you could. For example: child birth)

Some people are naturally able to have a thigh gap at a certain size, but that doesn’t automatically mean that you have to very thin. People who are at different sizes can have them but can every fit/thin person have one? No

Fact of the matter is that you probably won’t get one and it’s not a big deal. You don’t die if you don’t have one, and no one really cares about them as much as you do persons-who-want-a-thigh-gap-who-is-reading-this. Well, unless you’re this guy

image

There are two main reasons for why you probably won’t get one even if you lose weight.

One reason why you won’t get one is because of your hips. If you have narrow hips it’ll be a bit harder to obtain. Here are some examples

image

image

You can’t really change your genetics or bone structure…so…

Although, some of you might be thinking “fuck yeah! I have wide hips I’m going to get a thigh gap!!”

image

Sorry but that also might not be the case. The second reason for why you probably won’t get one is because of your legs. Let me explain a bit.

This is what the leg bones look like when you’re standing

image

So because your femurs are going in-ward like the image above it would be difficult to obtain a thigh gap even if you have wide hips. Also considering that you also have muscle, skin, fat, veins, around your bones to make, well, legs. It would be hard to achieve it. You need these things to you know, move. 

Also remember that people on tumblr stick out their butts, straighten their legs, bending forward with their heels apart, or stand with their feet wider apart for the illusion for a thigh gap in these photos. So really, if they can’t have one naturally what’s the chances of you having one? Here is a great example 

image

If you’re worried about chafing then a quick google search will show you that there are ways to remedy one without achieving a thigh gap. Remember that sometimes every-ones skin is different as well. Some are more or less sensitive than others. So having a thigh gap isn’t an automatic answer to not have any chafing. Many people in my life don’t have thigh gaps and they have no issues with rashes or chafing. 

If you’re still wanting a thigh gap despite of what I said you can get one easily by standing like peter pan and walk like that for the rest of your life.

image

Which goes to show that a thigh gap can be very relative of how you stand.

If you’re still wanting a thigh gap because you see models and other girls in the media having one just remember that the super thin body type portrayed by women in the media only effects 5% of the population. The standards are only getting tighter since 20 years ago models weighed 8% less than a healthy weight and now it’s 23% less than a healthy weight.

Why throw away your health to try and obtain something that most people don’t naturally have? You’re in trouble if you’re going to forgo your health for the sake of something that isn’t obtainable by most human standards.

I feel the need to add that having a thigh gap is perfectly fine, there’s nothing wrong with it—it’s just something most people don’t have. Just like there’s nothing wrong with being a size 0, it’s just not something that’s realistic for most people.

Very informative post, though :)

Dear people who follow me for thinspo.

randomlancila:

Hi there! I’m Amber! You might not know that, you probably just started following me because every time I post a picture of my body, you remind yourself that I am what you don’t want to look like.

This is my body, if you don’t remember.

image

image

image

Lots of people I know get upset when people like you start following them, dear thinspo person.

But I don’t mind. Follow away!

I understand what it’s like to have an eating disorder. And though I don’t understand what it’s like to be you, if I can be the one positive person that comes up on your dashboard, I would be honored.

You see, I love my body. Not because I’m fat. Not in spite of my fat. I love my body because it’s the only one I have. I love my body because it deserves to have my love. I’d love it at 100lbs lighter or 100lbs heavier. Nothing is ever, ever going to stop me. And I think maybe you need to see that. Maybe you need to be reminded, among all the pictures of ribcages and thigh gaps, that the number on the scale does not define you. That happiness is possible no matter what your body looks like.

And maybe you need to be reminded that the people like me that you follow are actual people with feelings just like you.

I know you’re probably hurting. I know you’re sick. I know that seeing pictures of me, or reading this post, isn’t going to magically cure you. I know that what you’re going through is a struggle that you face every day. But I’m here to let you know that I care. And I wish you nothing but happiness.

It’s so tough. But please be kind to yourself. Please take care of yourself. 

Good luck.

New post on Adipose Activist: Avoiding Holiday Shame!

randomlancila:

In this post I offer some advice on avoiding talk from family members about your body, diets, and weight loss.

Hope you find it helpful! :)

Reblogging this again because I think it’s really important. You do NOT have to feel guilty about what you put in your mouth tomorrow. You do NOT have to be made to feel ashamed about your choices or your body by your family tomorrow. What you do with your body does not have to be a topic of conversation. 

Enjoy your holiday! :)

~Amber

Dear people who follow me for thinspo.

randomlancila:

Hi there! I’m Amber! You might not know that, you probably just started following me because every time I post a picture of my body, you remind yourself that I am what you don’t want to look like.

This is my body, if you don’t remember.

image

image

image

Lots of people I know get upset when people like you start following them, dear thinspo person.

But I don’t mind. Follow away!

I understand what it’s like to have an eating disorder. And though I don’t understand what it’s like to be you, if I can be the one positive person that comes up on your dashboard, I would be honored.

You see, I love my body. Not because I’m fat. Not in spite of my fat. I love my body because it’s the only one I have. I love my body because it deserves to have my love. I’d love it at 100lbs lighter or 100lbs heavier. Nothing is ever, ever going to stop me. And I think maybe you need to see that. Maybe you need to be reminded, among all the pictures of ribcages and thigh gaps, that the number on the scale does not define you. That happiness is possible no matter what your body looks like.

And maybe you need to be reminded that the people like me that you follow are actual people with feelings just like you.

I know you’re probably hurting. I know you’re sick. I know that seeing pictures of me, or reading this post, isn’t going to magically cure you. I know that what you’re going through is a struggle that you face every day. But I’m here to let you know that I care. And I wish you nothing but happiness.

It’s so tough. But please be kind to yourself. Please take care of yourself. 

Good luck.

lilguy520:

so my good friend Jennie took these pictures of me today and they were really inspiring. im so excited because, for once, i was happy with the fact that im a bigger build. im proud to be a chub. this is my life and the only one i have, so why am i going to sit here and waste time being miserable just to fit societies standards of beauty?

lilguy520:

so my good friend Jennie took these pictures of me today and they were really inspiring. im so excited because, for once, i was happy with the fact that im a bigger build. im proud to be a chub. this is my life and the only one i have, so why am i going to sit here and waste time being miserable just to fit societies standards of beauty?

The Difference Between Fitspo and Thinspo

recuperare:

There isn’t one.

It’s okay to have “fitspo” because it’s healthy, right?  Healthy bodies automatically equal healthy minds, don’t they?

No.

Yes, it’s absolutely wonderful to have a fit body.  It’s also absolutely wonderful to have a chubby body, or a thin body, or a lean body, or a round body, or a pear-shaped or apple-shaped or octagon-shaped body.

Just because your body is fit doesn’t mean your mind is, and just because it looks healthy doesn’t make it okay to promote it as if it’s the only good body to have.

The only good body to have is your own body, in it’s natural state.  If it’s naturally toned and fit because of your sport or your healthy habits, that’s fine.  If it’s naturally not, that’s fine.  It doesn’t matter what type of body you have, as long as you’re happy with it.

Fitspo is just another way to body-shame and another way to say that “Real Women” myth. “Real women have curves,” “Fit is the new thin,” “Fit is the new beautiful.”  I’ve seen all those phrases on Tumblr, and it just makes me feel worse about myself and the type of people we’re becoming.

There is no one definition of beautiful, so who are you to promote only one body type?

I promote bodyspo. All bodies, all shapes, all hair-lengths and health types, all the time. 

tangledupinlace:

I wore this bikini to the lake today.
Majestic has been working and going to school full time so we don’t get as much QT as we used to and when we’re spread thin (ha), we regenerate in nature.
The thing is, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I’m shedding my uterine lining and my idea of “going into nature” doesn’t ever involve (or rather, I’d prefer if it didn’t) thin white insecure teenaged girls. 
But today it did. 
Normally, I’d do what I do best. Sitting in unflattering positions, eating passionately and aggressively and deflecting everyone’s poor self image are my strong suits.(right next to fucking, tying a pretty bow and swearing) I like to incite and I love to be seen in my fat bawdy. It reminds me I’m alive….surviving and thriving.
but like I said before, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I haven’t gotten intentional time with my Lover and I’m on my motherfucking period.
Today was not the goddamn day. 
Watching a couple different flocks of thin teenage girls whisper to each other and then stare at two magical creatures such as myself and my beautiful wife with a look like they’d smelled a ripe fart filled me with a fiery rage.
Fat people can’t just fucking go to the lake and move their bodies in public without repercussions. The majority of thin people CAN. 
Now, because this is not my first rodeo and I do not want anyone to get it twisted, I want everyone to read my words carefully and I really want thin folks to GET REAL with themselves right now.
I know the thin folks who read my blog make some serious attempts at becoming more body positive and I know you all try to think more critically about the ways in which you participate in a culture that is out to kill me. I know a lot of thin folks in my real life care about me, love me and even find my devilishly good looks to be quite captivating.
So when I talk about my feelings and real experiences, I do not want to hear about how you’re not the bad guy and how you don’t appreciate my anger. I don’t care
Today I took the countless stares, whispers and upset faces personally. Instead of challenging them, I started to shake with unadulterated rage and huffed off. I moved our blanket and snacks to a secluded inlet of the lake and sulked. 
When Majestic and I started to process my feelings, I told them the reason I feel unsafe around thin folks at the beach was about me 1. seeing their fucking faces when they look at me and 2. remembering what it was like to hate my body and the gross awful things I thought about people then. Worse, the things I was encouraged by my peers to say and think about people and the way we bonded over mean and hurtful feelings like it would keep us satisfied until we allowed ourselves a small portioned diet meal.
I told Majestic that thin people are thinking a few different things about my body and I don’t like any of them. Are they disgusted beyond belief? Are they sad for me and my pitiful fat existence? Are they just staring because my body has become so abject and such a spectacle that they’re just interested in knowing what it looks like that unclothed? Are they scared about what my body makes them think about their bodies? 
Majestic said, “They’re uncomfortable. They want you to be invisible, but you refuse. It would be easier for them if you hid, but you won’t and that’s upsetting.”
So maybe some of them are thinking about how ~*brave*~ I must be and that’s supposed to quell my upset over all the other thoughts they could be thinking. 
As if them thinking its brave to have such a revolting body and still put on bathing suit and enjoy a swim just like them is a comforting thought.
But it is brave to know your body is scary and that people want to destroy it, but that it’s yours and you love it and you made the radical decision not to deny yourself a dip in a lake on a hot day or an ice cream cone or a lover who respects you. 
Because I know it’s hard to be a teenage girl and if I thought they’d listen, I’d sit down with every last one of them and tell them I remember what it was like to be them and that I know what it’s like to carry that venom inside you. 
Because as much as I want to tell the world how they hurt themselves by hating me, I really just want to fucking float around in the cool water like everyone else but you don’t want that for me
And tomorrow’s just another day for me to be fat in your face and if that’s hard for you, TOO FUCKING BAD

tangledupinlace:

I wore this bikini to the lake today.

Majestic has been working and going to school full time so we don’t get as much QT as we used to and when we’re spread thin (ha), we regenerate in nature.

The thing is, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I’m shedding my uterine lining and my idea of “going into nature” doesn’t ever involve (or rather, I’d prefer if it didn’t) thin white insecure teenaged girls. 

But today it did. 

Normally, I’d do what I do best. Sitting in unflattering positions, eating passionately and aggressively and deflecting everyone’s poor self image are my strong suits.(right next to fucking, tying a pretty bow and swearing) I like to incite and I love to be seen in my fat bawdy. It reminds me I’m alive….surviving and thriving.

but like I said before, Mercury’s in Retrograde, I haven’t gotten intentional time with my Lover and I’m on my motherfucking period.

Today was not the goddamn day. 

Watching a couple different flocks of thin teenage girls whisper to each other and then stare at two magical creatures such as myself and my beautiful wife with a look like they’d smelled a ripe fart filled me with a fiery rage.

Fat people can’t just fucking go to the lake and move their bodies in public without repercussions. The majority of thin people CAN. 

Now, because this is not my first rodeo and I do not want anyone to get it twisted, I want everyone to read my words carefully and I really want thin folks to GET REAL with themselves right now.

I know the thin folks who read my blog make some serious attempts at becoming more body positive and I know you all try to think more critically about the ways in which you participate in a culture that is out to kill me. I know a lot of thin folks in my real life care about me, love me and even find my devilishly good looks to be quite captivating.

So when I talk about my feelings and real experiences, I do not want to hear about how you’re not the bad guy and how you don’t appreciate my anger. I don’t care


Today I took the countless stares, whispers and upset faces personally. Instead of challenging them, I started to shake with unadulterated rage and huffed off. I moved our blanket and snacks to a secluded inlet of the lake and sulked. 

When Majestic and I started to process my feelings, I told them the reason I feel unsafe around thin folks at the beach was about me 1. seeing their fucking faces when they look at me and 2. remembering what it was like to hate my body and the gross awful things I thought about people then. Worse, the things I was encouraged by my peers to say and think about people and the way we bonded over mean and hurtful feelings like it would keep us satisfied until we allowed ourselves a small portioned diet meal.

I told Majestic that thin people are thinking a few different things about my body and I don’t like any of them. Are they disgusted beyond belief? Are they sad for me and my pitiful fat existence? Are they just staring because my body has become so abject and such a spectacle that they’re just interested in knowing what it looks like that unclothed? Are they scared about what my body makes them think about their bodies? 


Majestic said, “They’re uncomfortable. They want you to be invisible, but you refuse. It would be easier for them if you hid, but you won’t and that’s upsetting.”

So maybe some of them are thinking about how ~*brave*~ I must be and that’s supposed to quell my upset over all the other thoughts they could be thinking. 

As if them thinking its brave to have such a revolting body and still put on bathing suit and enjoy a swim just like them is a comforting thought.

But it is brave to know your body is scary and that people want to destroy it, but that it’s yours and you love it and you made the radical decision not to deny yourself a dip in a lake on a hot day or an ice cream cone or a lover who respects you. 

Because I know it’s hard to be a teenage girl and if I thought they’d listen, I’d sit down with every last one of them and tell them I remember what it was like to be them and that I know what it’s like to carry that venom inside you. 

Because as much as I want to tell the world how they hurt themselves by hating me, I really just want to fucking float around in the cool water like everyone else but you don’t want that for me

And tomorrow’s just another day for me to be fat in your face and if that’s hard for you, TOO FUCKING BAD

Here’s the thing about body positivity.

It has no qualifiers.

It’s not ‘as long as you’re not obese!

It’s not ‘as long as your bones aren’t showing!

It’s not ‘as long as you’re healthy!

It’s not ‘as long as ________.’

You are completely entitled to have standards and limits set for your own body, but that is the only one you own. No one has any right to judge anyone else’s body, lifestyle, or choices.

Love,

Amber