Our mission: to love ourselves, every last inch! To support others, help build positive self esteem! This is The Body Peace Revolution!

This is a place of encouragement, a place to talk about body image, a place for feeling beautiful. No matter what you look like, what color, what gender, what size or however many "flaws", healthy, not healthy, working on it, we are all human, we all deserve to be happy, we all deserve to love ourselves. With this blog you will see all kinds of REAL bodies, REAL people, REAL stories.

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I got asked this tonight, and it made me uncomfortable, as it always does. I answered with a shrug and an “I don’t know…” and the person followed it up with a “you look good!” I have a lot of trouble synthesizing that, for a variety of reasons.
1) bodies are intensely personal. I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to ask someone about weight loss or weight gain, especially an acquaintance.
2) the follow up of “you look good” upsets me. Do I look less good if I weigh more? Does how good I look directly correlate with whether I’ve lost weight? The insinuation most people have that thinner=better is so obvious in even the most innocent remarks like this.
3) what if I have lost weight, but it’s because I’m working a full time job, a part time job, juggling 5 classes, a club, and being on a student leadership council? Is not having enough time to eat still “good”? Is the fact they my fridge and cupboards are mostly bare and I’m too poor to fill them “good”? What if I’d been ill and it caused me to lose weight? Is that good? The truth is you can never tell why a weight fluctuation in someone happened, and it’s really bad to assign positivity to a change in body size without knowing what a person is going through.
4) this person couldn’t just say “you look good?” And have that be it?Assigning moral value to body size will always make me uncomfortable. The person who did this meant no harm or ill will, but it just made me really think about how pervasive the message that “thinner is better” is.Y’all, unless you know for a fact that someone is actively trying to change their body weight and is looking for encouragement, don’t comment on their weight. It’s a big trigger for a lot of people. Your self worth and goodness is not tied to your pants size. Remember that!
PS: my favorite thing to reply when someone asks if I’ve lost weight is “oh gosh, I hope not!!” People are usually so shocked by that, it shuts them right up.
Love,
Amber
(reposted from my instagram, feel free to follow me @randomlancila!)

I got asked this tonight, and it made me uncomfortable, as it always does. I answered with a shrug and an “I don’t know…” and the person followed it up with a “you look good!” I have a lot of trouble synthesizing that, for a variety of reasons.


1) bodies are intensely personal. I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to ask someone about weight loss or weight gain, especially an acquaintance.


2) the follow up of “you look good” upsets me. Do I look less good if I weigh more? Does how good I look directly correlate with whether I’ve lost weight? The insinuation most people have that thinner=better is so obvious in even the most innocent remarks like this.


3) what if I have lost weight, but it’s because I’m working a full time job, a part time job, juggling 5 classes, a club, and being on a student leadership council? Is not having enough time to eat still “good”? Is the fact they my fridge and cupboards are mostly bare and I’m too poor to fill them “good”? What if I’d been ill and it caused me to lose weight? Is that good? The truth is you can never tell why a weight fluctuation in someone happened, and it’s really bad to assign positivity to a change in body size without knowing what a person is going through.


4) this person couldn’t just say “you look good?” And have that be it?
Assigning moral value to body size will always make me uncomfortable. The person who did this meant no harm or ill will, but it just made me really think about how pervasive the message that “thinner is better” is.
Y’all, unless you know for a fact that someone is actively trying to change their body weight and is looking for encouragement, don’t comment on their weight. It’s a big trigger for a lot of people. Your self worth and goodness is not tied to your pants size. Remember that!


PS: my favorite thing to reply when someone asks if I’ve lost weight is “oh gosh, I hope not!!” People are usually so shocked by that, it shuts them right up.

Love,

Amber

(reposted from my instagram, feel free to follow me @randomlancila!)

A Fat Holiday Song (an ode to boundary setting) by Ragen Chastain (to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree)

vulgarvulgar:

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

Don’t talk about my weight or food.

Why can’t you see it’s hella rude

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

You know I love my family

But I will leave if you fat-shame me.

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

My body’s fine, I don’t need your rants

You’re not the boss of my underpants

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

Don’t say a word to my fat kid

Or I’ll leave so fast, my tires will skid

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

Yes I do “need” that second plate

It’s not your business what I ate

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

Quit saying someday I’ll get sick

Last time I checked you were not psychic

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

The holidays are great family time

If you don’t shame, food-police or whine

Oh Boundaries! Oh Boundaries!

You help me deal with family.

dankiibombshell:

When I was younger I was told I needed to lose weight. I was told that if I lost weight I’d be beautiful, a beauty queen is what many said. Miss America even. I was told if I lost weight I’d find a gorgeous amazing boyfriend, I’d be happy, have a wonderful life. I was told I’d get so much more attention from men, from people in general. I was told I’d die by the age of 30 if I didn’t lose weight, I was told I could die any time soon. All because I’m FAT. I was lied to. “but what if I lose weight and I’m not happy with it?” I’d ask, “You will be” they’d say. Here I am proving them wrong, proving so many wrong. I’m not dead, I’m not dying, I’m very much alive. I’m happy no matter how fat my ass is, I love myself, my life, my friends, my family and my fat girl loving boyfriend. It’s not love, beauty nor life that discriminates.. it’s us. We discriminate against ourselves, against each other and against reality. We’re all human beings, some prettier, some more successful but a heart is a heart, a body is a body and a person is a person. In a way I love you all but most of all I LOVE MYSELF.
So here I am.. Proving you wrong.

dankiibombshell:

When I was younger I was told I needed to lose weight. I was told that if I lost weight I’d be beautiful, a beauty queen is what many said. Miss America even. I was told if I lost weight I’d find a gorgeous amazing boyfriend, I’d be happy, have a wonderful life. I was told I’d get so much more attention from men, from people in general. I was told I’d die by the age of 30 if I didn’t lose weight, I was told I could die any time soon. All because I’m FAT. I was lied to. “but what if I lose weight and I’m not happy with it?” I’d ask, “You will be” they’d say. Here I am proving them wrong, proving so many wrong. I’m not dead, I’m not dying, I’m very much alive. I’m happy no matter how fat my ass is, I love myself, my life, my friends, my family and my fat girl loving boyfriend. It’s not love, beauty nor life that discriminates.. it’s us. We discriminate against ourselves, against each other and against reality. We’re all human beings, some prettier, some more successful but a heart is a heart, a body is a body and a person is a person. In a way I love you all but most of all I LOVE MYSELF.

So here I am..
Proving you wrong.

randomlancila:

Oh my god, I am SO PROUD of my school!
I just came across this brochure and it has great facts and stats about how diets don’t work and how to maintain positive body image. I was floored! It even has tips on media manipulation and the rise of eating disorders.
It’s SO validating to see this kind of stuff in real life, offline and not just on tumblr. I can’t tell you how happy it made me!

randomlancila:

Oh my god, I am SO PROUD of my school!

I just came across this brochure and it has great facts and stats about how diets don’t work and how to maintain positive body image. I was floored! It even has tips on media manipulation and the rise of eating disorders.

It’s SO validating to see this kind of stuff in real life, offline and not just on tumblr. I can’t tell you how happy it made me!

thebiggirlscode:

BE WILD!!!

(photo: Jeff Newton Photography; top and bottom: Torrid; shoes: DSW; lipstick: MAC Pink Nouveau; hair: Wella Reds)

NEWS FLASH… Women of every size can and should have fun getting dressed!!! For me this means mixing and matching colors that I normally wouldn’t think of pairing. This week I dare you to be bold, be wild, do the unexpected, and wear something that shows your inner sparkle!!!!

I advocate this knowing It takes courage to be full-figured, already highly visible. But big woman, I’m daring you to stand out and draw more attention to yourself!!! I know the attention we receive is often negative. Consider this, every time I walk out the door I risk extremely rude people shouting very disrespectful things at me, simply because the way I look. Being big and living in LA with your head held high is no easy feat. Creemelo.

Just the other night, I tried enjoying delicious tacos de pollo with friends outside a food truck near the Silverlake neighborhood, when both a bicyclist and a car full of people shouted very cruel things, obviously directed towards me. This is a common occurrence and a daily challenge to confront. How do I continue to love myself when each day it is evident that my body is unlovable to most folks?

I understand why large women choose to cover themselves, choose to be wallflowers blending in to the background, or living as shut ins. But I urge big women to come out of hiding. Enough is enough! Girl, we see your big body anyways, might as well flaunt it!!! Leave the baggy clothes behind you. Be brave and reclaim your body, mind, and spirit. Be bold knowing there is a possibility that cobardes may jeer and try to hurt you. Facing their prickly words while standing firme can set you free. Loving yourself, for yourself, on your own terms can be liberating.

Big woman, ultimately you get to chose how you respond when confronted with fat phobia. How you react under attack is what defines you.

I won’t be ashamed and feel sorry for myself. I will take control over how I represent myself. I choose to put on my pretty face, be wild, and stare those haters straight in the eyes showing them I can’t be broken and my light won’t be snuffed. I’m not going anywhere!

Have fun dressing!!!! Porque “la vida es un carnival” - Celia Cruz

- La Chica Mas Fina

redefiningbodyimage:

randomlancila:

maiamorgan:

stophatingyourbody:

randomlancila:

Rebloggable version!

This is important enough that I thought it belonged here!

Body positivity is also not shaming those of us who are trying to lose weight.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that I don’t love myself because I want to be healthier and lose weight.
Me wanting to lose weight has everything to do with my own person reasons (high cholesterol, medication issues) and nothing to do with anyone else. I am sick of people impling that I don’t love myself because I’m trying to slim down enough so that my bloodwork comes back good. My doctor and I were both unconcerned about my weight until some of my bloodwork started coming back with some concerning results.
So, I am losing weight, exercising, and training myself to eat better. Not because I think I’m ugly, but because I want to be healthy for myself and for my child.
The next time someone tells me that I am fat and beautiful, I will say thank you, but if they follow that up with “You don’t need to lose weight. You should love yourself as you are,” then that person will get told to go fuck themselves.

I can’t tell you what to do with your body. You want to lose weight? Great, you do it. But don’t you dare say it’s to ‘be healthy.’ 
Losing weight does NOT equal better health. Better eating habits? Sure. Better exercise habits? Sure. More sleep? Sure. Reducing stress in your life? Sure. In some bodies, modifying your habits makes you lose weight. But the weight loss is a SYMPTOM, not a cause of better or worse health.
People really need to get over this fallacy of ‘Oh god I feel so sluggish because I’ve gained weight.’ or ‘Oh, I feel so much more healthy since I lost weight.’ No. You’ve changed your habits, and maybe your body changed along with it. But you know what, that doesn’t happen to everyone. Beliefs like this DIRECTLY impact the misguided viewpoint that fat=unhealthy.
It’s pretty easy.
Eating better/exercising more = better health.
Better health ≠ changes in weight. It CAN, but it’s not required.
Anyone who tries to tell you what to do with your body SHOULD be told to go fuck themselves. But YOU should also take responsibility for your reasons. Because if you truly believe the only way to be healthier is to lose weight, you’ve got a long way to go in body positivity.

Reblogging this version for commentary and to add that no one is denying that you love your body. The relationship you have with your body is personal and wonderful. Just know that your feelings and definitions about health are not universally adapted by everyone else.

redefiningbodyimage:

randomlancila:

maiamorgan:

stophatingyourbody:

randomlancila:

Rebloggable version!

This is important enough that I thought it belonged here!

Body positivity is also not shaming those of us who are trying to lose weight.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that I don’t love myself because I want to be healthier and lose weight.

Me wanting to lose weight has everything to do with my own person reasons (high cholesterol, medication issues) and nothing to do with anyone else. I am sick of people impling that I don’t love myself because I’m trying to slim down enough so that my bloodwork comes back good. My doctor and I were both unconcerned about my weight until some of my bloodwork started coming back with some concerning results.

So, I am losing weight, exercising, and training myself to eat better. Not because I think I’m ugly, but because I want to be healthy for myself and for my child.

The next time someone tells me that I am fat and beautiful, I will say thank you, but if they follow that up with “You don’t need to lose weight. You should love yourself as you are,” then that person will get told to go fuck themselves.

I can’t tell you what to do with your body. You want to lose weight? Great, you do it. But don’t you dare say it’s to ‘be healthy.’ 

Losing weight does NOT equal better health. Better eating habits? Sure. Better exercise habits? Sure. More sleep? Sure. Reducing stress in your life? Sure. In some bodies, modifying your habits makes you lose weight. But the weight loss is a SYMPTOM, not a cause of better or worse health.

People really need to get over this fallacy of ‘Oh god I feel so sluggish because I’ve gained weight.’ or ‘Oh, I feel so much more healthy since I lost weight.’ No. You’ve changed your habits, and maybe your body changed along with it. But you know what, that doesn’t happen to everyone. Beliefs like this DIRECTLY impact the misguided viewpoint that fat=unhealthy.

It’s pretty easy.

Eating better/exercising more = better health.

Better health ≠ changes in weight. It CAN, but it’s not required.

Anyone who tries to tell you what to do with your body SHOULD be told to go fuck themselves. But YOU should also take responsibility for your reasons. Because if you truly believe the only way to be healthier is to lose weight, you’ve got a long way to go in body positivity.

Reblogging this version for commentary and to add that no one is denying that you love your body. The relationship you have with your body is personal and wonderful. Just know that your feelings and definitions about health are not universally adapted by everyone else.

Regarding dieting and weight loss.

randomlancila:

Many people I know are losing weight recently, and that’s great, I’m absolutely happy for them. The majority of them are doing it the right way—watching what they eat, exercising, having a more healthy lifestyle in general. No fad diets, no starving themselves. I’m proud of them.

But a tweet from a friend today made me wonder. She posted before and after pictures of herself and said ‘I genuinely didn’t see it until today when those pictures got posted’.

I look at the images. The before image—she was a little more hunched over, sheepish fake smile that says ‘oh god, please don’t take my picture’, kind of squishing herself against her friend so less of her would be seen. The after image? She’s in a sleeveless dress, looking fabulous, standing up straight, posing for the camera.

She’s lost a significant amount of weight, it’s true. But it’s not the first thing I noticed. The first thing I noticed was the total 180 in her confidence level. It really made me think.

I notice the same thing with Sara Rue’s Jenny Craig campaign. Obviously you’d have to be blind not to see that she’s lost a lot of weight, but the pictures themselves speak worlds. The first picture—demure smile, casual pose, a lot more clothing—compared to the second, ‘sexy’ pose. It says to me ‘look, I can be attractive now and not offensive to the eye! I don’t have to cover up anymore!’

And then there’s women like Jennifer Hudson who speak for years about how much they adore their curves—and the next thing you know, they’re the spokesperson for Weight Watchers.

I have to wonder…what happens when the cameras shut off? When they stop buying the sodium-filled Jenny Craig meals, when they don’t have a personal trainer anymore. If and when some or all of the weight comes back, are they still going to love themselves?

The trick is not so much to change your body in order to increase your confidence. The trick is to concentrate on how your body FEELS, not how it looks. As long as you feel healthy, as long as you’re giving your body the nourishment and exercise and care that it needs, your dress size should not be of importance. The number on the scale should not mock you every day. This is not to discount the new and exciting things you discover that you can do when you lose weight. It’s to make you look at the things you already CAN do now!

And frankly—confidence has nothing to do with your weight. I’ve had quite a few people tell me recently that I’ve lost weight. Honestly, I don’t think I have, and if I have, it’s been absolutely minimal. I think what changed is my perception of my own body and therefore the way I come off to other people. I used to wear things to cover up everything, always thinking ‘will this top cover this fat roll?’ ‘will these pants make my legs looks even more like tree trunks?’ ‘do i have something i can wear to cover my upper arms?’ I would do photoshoots with my best friend and it would hardly even be fun because I was so busy concentrating on flattering angles and close ups and making sure that under NO circumstances would there be a full body shot.

Clearly, I don’t care very much anymore. And while I’ve changed my eating habits and I’ve become more active and less of a zombie, it’s more that I feel much more comfortable in my own skin than I ever have before. I don’t think that any diet can do that. It’s something you have to do for yourself.

I worry for people who lose weight sometimes, because they let it take over their entire existence and let their new body define who they are. And I’m fearful that if they so much as gain five pounds, they’ll consider all their hard work a failure and go right back to self loathing. Then it turns into yo-yo dieting, and then it becomes an obsession, and it’s just a bad road to go down.

You have to, have to, HAVE to learn to love yourself because things happen, weight is lost, weights is gained, bodies change, but in the end, it does not define you.

The way you present yourself to the world is what defines you. So the next time you think you have to cover up your flabby upper arms so as not to offend society, instead wear a tank top and just say ‘So what? I am FABULOUS’.

I posted this on my personal blog months ago, and I think it’s so relevant to the message that this community tries to send. People are so worried about the size of their jeans rather than how they feel or how they perceive themselves, and it’s so important to remember that health comes in more ways than just the physical. Don’t beat yourself up, remember your mental and emotional health are super important too.

Stay beautiful, everyone!

Amber

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