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No matter what you look like, what color, what gender, sexual orientation, what size or however many "flaws", healthy, not healthy, working on it, abled, disabled, we are all human, we all deserve to be happy, we all deserve to love ourselves. With this blog you will see all kinds of REAL bodies, REAL people, REAL stories.

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Being LGBTQ and Autistic: My Personal Perspective

queerability:

by Savannah Nicole Logsdon-Breakstone

I think a lot about the difference between practice and desire. Gender presentation versus gender identity, sexual practice versus orientation, stylistic tastes versus what you can afford. What you want to be versus what you have access to. Sometimes the difference and the reason for it is simple, and sometimes less so.

I identify as a Femme pansexual-Panromantic. Gender is fairly irrelevant to my sexual and romantic attractions. This is my orientation- but my preferences are for feminine presenting individuals. This is more of a “type” than a significant part of my orientation- I’m attracted to all sorts of people, I’m just more likely to find feminine people attractive the way that some people are more likely to find redheads more attractive.

And yet most of the people I’ve been with romantically or sexually identified as men- mostly not hyper masculine, but in the masculine area of the gender spectrum, specifically those assigned male at birth and who are okay with that assignment. This is greatly divergent from my preferences. It’s not that I was un-attracted to any of these people- I was, and in some cases continue to be attracted to them. But the representative sample of my partners is not representative of my attractions.

I sometimes ask myself why, and I can only come up with guesses. I believe a part of it has to do with how my being autistic interacts with societal expectations about gender and sexuality. (In addition, of course, to other factors like living in a rural area with fewer people.) I’m not someone who makes the first gesture- indeed, I’m very worried about overstepping boundaries that I can’t see, which has led me to only proceed if I’m relatively certain of interest. And unfortunately I’m not great at figuring out that other people are interested in that particular way.

I know for a fact that this has had an impact on things- I’ve learned multiple times after the fact that there was a mutual desire at play, but that since I didn’t pick up on things the other person did not pursue it further. I even had a girlfriend where we didn’t progress to sexual activity during the romantic relationship because of misread signs. (We later amended that oversight.)

I think part of it has to do with how we gender our expectations on a societal level. (As our society frames things in a binary manner, the roles and expectations are framed as such- but I’ll leave describing how that messes with gender-things to someone more directly effected.) In our (American/western) society, many women are taught that it’s unfeminine and unattractive to be the actively seeking party in sexual matters, whereas man men are taught that being an active seeker sexually is a proof of manliness and attractiveness. Obviously this backfires a lot- when men desire and seek out other men, they certainly aren’t seen as fulfilling that role. And by need at least one woman has to break these roles if two women desire each other. None of this touches on what happens when one or more partner doesn’t have a cis, binary gender identity.

As a result, most of the people I’ve been with have been culturally affirmed that being the active seeker is okay, or even desirable. Meanwhile many of the people who I might prefer have found the need, both because of cultural negativity around gender but also around sexuality, to be more subtle about interest. I… am not great at subtle in these contexts. I’ll get that we are friends, yes, but that the level of interest is more? Not so much.

Download Dattch On Android!

annieelainey:

dattch-app:

Dattch, the app for lesbian, bisexual, curious and queer women, is finally available on Android from today!  Download it now.

It’s our very first version on Android and we’re really excited to meet all of our new droid users. Our CEO Robyn Exton will be launching the Android version at the same time as we release the app in New York.

dattch-android-pr5smller

She’ll be speaking at the Lesbians Who Tech summit in NYC.  “We’ve had thousands and thousands of requests for Android over the past couple of months alone and our early testers have been giving great feedback so we’re really excited to bring Dattch to the Android audience.”

Download the Android app now and join the Dattch community.  Real people, real connections.

Download Dattch On Android! was originally published on Dattch’s blog

DOWNLOADING AS I REBLOG!! IT’S HERE, GUYS!

fuckyeahftmsofcolor:

Hi there!
The name’s Chase, 18, half Native American (Tsimshian, Coast Salish, Musqueam Nation)
Pre-everything, only recently started to transition… I found a therapist, and a group, and have to come out to my family… My friends are all aware, and supportive, but, of course, there’s still the close-minded family to worry about…
From British Columbia, Canada.
Message me, I love to meet new people, and I think it’d be cool to get a few trans or ally friends~

fuckyeahftmsofcolor:

Hi there!

The name’s Chase, 18, half Native American (Tsimshian, Coast Salish, Musqueam Nation)

Pre-everything, only recently started to transition… I found a therapist, and a group, and have to come out to my family… My friends are all aware, and supportive, but, of course, there’s still the close-minded family to worry about…

From British Columbia, Canada.

Message me, I love to meet new people, and I think it’d be cool to get a few trans or ally friends~

fuckyeahfatpositive:

Hey all you beautiful people!!! I’m Elissa, I’m 20 and I live in Vermont!!! I’m a queer (pansexual, grey-romantic demi-sexual) nerdy trans* chick who loves her body and is always up for making new friends!!!
This picture is from the annual awards ceremony hosted by the local queer youth organization, Outright Vermont. The honors people in the community who have made a difference for queer youth in Vermont! My award was for “Camp Outright Camper of the Year” and the certificate reads as follows:
“Honoring an outstanding participant from Camp Outright who helped to make the camp experience positive for everyone around them.
Elissa has been very dedicated to helping individuals transform the way that they think about their bodies and their identities”
Camp Outright is a week long summer camp for queer and allied youth between the ages of 13-22 hosted by Outright Vermont and the YWCA at Camp Hocheloga in South Hero, Vermont. For me it was a profoundly wonderful experience that I’ll never forget. It was the first time I’d been in a space among strangers where I felt totally at home and accepted, and where my gender identity wasn’t the first on my mind. It was an opportunity to be free and also for me to be a kid again, something I’d lost a long time ago with all the shit I’ve been through in my life.

fuckyeahfatpositive:

Hey all you beautiful people!!! I’m Elissa, I’m 20 and I live in Vermont!!! I’m a queer (pansexual, grey-romantic demi-sexual) nerdy trans* chick who loves her body and is always up for making new friends!!!

This picture is from the annual awards ceremony hosted by the local queer youth organization, Outright Vermont. The honors people in the community who have made a difference for queer youth in Vermont! My award was for “Camp Outright Camper of the Year” and the certificate reads as follows:

“Honoring an outstanding participant from Camp Outright who helped to make the camp experience positive for everyone around them.

Elissa has been very dedicated to helping individuals transform the way that they think about their bodies and their identities”

Camp Outright is a week long summer camp for queer and allied youth between the ages of 13-22 hosted by Outright Vermont and the YWCA at Camp Hocheloga in South Hero, Vermont. For me it was a profoundly wonderful experience that I’ll never forget. It was the first time I’d been in a space among strangers where I felt totally at home and accepted, and where my gender identity wasn’t the first on my mind. It was an opportunity to be free and also for me to be a kid again, something I’d lost a long time ago with all the shit I’ve been through in my life.

glittergeek:

this is one of those call-me-a-girl, dissrespect-my-pronouns or post-on-a-bbw-porn-blog-and-i-will-deduct-100-points-from-your-house-and-feed-you-to-a-Dementor kind of posts.
tiger bombshell/they pronouns/fat nonbinary korean 

glittergeek:

this is one of those call-me-a-girl, dissrespect-my-pronouns or post-on-a-bbw-porn-blog-and-i-will-deduct-100-points-from-your-house-and-feed-you-to-a-Dementor kind of posts.


tiger bombshell/they pronouns/fat nonbinary korean 


fuckyeahftmsofcolor:

I’m Micah. 16. African-American in the most literal of ways. Queer. Bigender. Single. Harry Potter lover. Those are words, but they don’t define exactly what it is to be me.  I don’t have any trans* friends at all and I am incredibly awkward. Come enchant me with mindless chatter?
http://slytherin-and-cigarettes.tumblr.com/

fuckyeahftmsofcolor:

I’m Micah. 16. African-American in the most literal of ways. Queer. Bigender. Single. Harry Potter lover. Those are words, but they don’t define exactly what it is to be me.  I don’t have any trans* friends at all and I am incredibly awkward. Come enchant me with mindless chatter?

http://slytherin-and-cigarettes.tumblr.com/

fuckyeahftmsofcolor:

21. FTM/Genderqueer. AZ, USA. Korean-Caucasian. Pre-everything.
Hey all! You can call me Matt :) Message me, follow me, whatever, I love talking to new people and networking.
Hopefully I’ll be on T soon (fingers-crossed) but I have been dealing with some family shit (I have a post about it if you’re intrigued at all haha) so would love to chat about T or family issues or anything else generally. Thanks and be kind!

fuckyeahftmsofcolor:

21. FTM/Genderqueer. AZ, USA. Korean-Caucasian. Pre-everything.

Hey all! You can call me Matt :) Message me, follow me, whatever, I love talking to new people and networking.

Hopefully I’ll be on T soon (fingers-crossed) but I have been dealing with some family shit (I have a post about it if you’re intrigued at all haha) so would love to chat about T or family issues or anything else generally. Thanks and be kind!

transpoc:

Hey there! It’s Quin again. Just taking some pre T pics before I start T in two months! I’ve been naturally transitioning for almost a year. Feel free to ask me anything and follow my journey :]
quinlanskyler.tumblr
[Image is of a man flexing his arms for the camera. He is looking slightly to the right of the picture, and is wearing a black shirt with a design on it. He has short black hair and is inside.]

transpoc:

Hey there! It’s Quin again. Just taking some pre T pics before I start T in two months! I’ve been naturally transitioning for almost a year. Feel free to ask me anything and follow my journey :]

quinlanskyler.tumblr

[Image is of a man flexing his arms for the camera. He is looking slightly to the right of the picture, and is wearing a black shirt with a design on it. He has short black hair and is inside.]

torn1990:

another outfit of the day photoset. I just bought the socks and fell in love with frills all over again! got some compliments today which was awesome. Felt like playing in the leaves. Really enjoyed the combination and contrast between the frilly girly socks and my old, dirty shoes. I love being rough and feminine! dude i never wear those stockings so i was stoked to pair them with something. 

(Source: nowherecreature)