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When I was very young I remember my dad yelling at me that I was fat and ugly and worthless. For the longest time I believed it. I thought I wasn’t worth a thing. Until I met my then boyfriend in high school. He helped me realize that I was beautiful and worth something. Though I am no longer with that boy, he is still my best friend and everything he taught me still helps me to this day. I am beautiful, and wonderful, and worth everything. No one can make me change my mind about my own beauty. I’m always here to chat or give advice if anyone needs it! <3 Rach
TRIGGER WARNING: anorexia,self hate
It has been awhile since I posted. I am 5 feet and weigh around 93 pounds. I am recovering from anorexia and have almost reached my target weight. I used to hate my body and I thought losing weight would help. My lowest weight was 78 pounds and I hated myself even more. I was unhappy,depressed,frail,weak and sick. I went into treatment last year and returned home at 100 pounds. A few months ago I got sick with the flu and this caused me to lose weight and relapse. I am now trying to gain back the weight I lost. This time around,I started to appreciate my body. It has been through a lot,I damaged it with starvation and drugs but it still manages to repair the damage. I started to love myself and my body. I may not be super skinny anymore but I am trying to show myself that I am beautiful anyway. My legs are getting stronger,I can walk longer. I am no longer dizzy and cold. My body glows with health and should make it beautiful Some days I still struggle but I am trying beat anorexia and learn to love and accept myself. You are all beautiful no matter what! I am always here for anyone!
Hi, I’m Ellen, I’m fifteen years old and I live in australia. I had suffered from anorexia for years, but when I came across this blog, and all of these posts, with all of these gorgeous, lovely people spreading the word about gaining confidence and that we are all beautiful in our own ways, I stopped hating my body and comparing myself to other people, and began to realize that I’m fine the way I am, and I don’t have to starve myself to be what others would call perfect. No one is perfect, but we are all beautiful, special, unique and worth everything in the world. I love you all, and if any of you ever and I mean, ever need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message and I’ll be there to comfort and support you, even if we don’t even know each other.
Trigger warning: self-harm, self-hate, mentions of suicidal thoughts.
The past year has been the worst I’ve ever lived through for me. I’ve been under huge amounts of pressure, and have suddenly found myself on the very cusp on my future without being ready for it. To deal with this, I began self-harming. I’m not proud of it. I felt like I was drowning in myself.
Soon, my hatred of my insides seeped out and poisoned my outsides. I hated my body. I hated my stomach, my thighs, my skin, my breasts. I still struggle with my self-image, even though I love myself so much more. My boobs are big, and people comment on them as if they’re up for public discussion. My skin is dry and red, and people ask me if I have some kind of rash. With my scars as well to hide, I wanted to cover myself up where no one would ever, ever see me.
I can’t remember a day in the past year that I didn’t think of suicide.
But I don’t want suicide to be an option for me. There’s so much of my life that I haven’t lived yet. I don’t want to end it without seeing what happens. That would be like walking out of the cinema in the middle of a fantastic film, or throwing away a wonderful book, just because there was a bad bit near the start.
If I keep living, I can make my own happy ending.
Most days are still hard. I’ve relapsed quite a lot, scratching now, not cutting. I am still frightened by my body. But I’m getting so much better.
I’ve reclaimed my mind. I cut my hair short, which was a freeing act, taking control of my body purely by my own free will. I’m using creams to make my skin better, and I am not ashamed of it. I’m even starting to love my breasts. And when I feel like self-harm, I’ve found a distraction- tearing up pieces of paper into tiny bits. It’s so much healthier.
Most of all, I am happier.
Keep breathing. You’re going to be fantastic.
SUBMISSION FROM THE CREATOR OF SHYB
Trigger Warning for mentions of abuse, past-tense negative self image, mentions of obsession with being thin, temporary unhealthy amounts eating/exercise
Many of my insecurities and self-esteem issues stemmed from my father being abusive in the home towards both my mother and I, he was the biggest bully I’ll ever know. My mom found escape in her work, so I became dad’s main target. He would make me feel as though I was much larger than I actually was, and make me feel as though it made me ugly. He would make fun of my nose, my fat, and just degrade me.
Without realizing, my very best friend turned out to be an emotional manipulator. She was obsessed with becoming thin, she filled my head with ideas such as “no one is ever going to respect you if you’re not skinny, no one’s ever going to like you if you’re not skinny, you will never get work as an actor if you’re not skinny.”
I’d fallen for it, I felt ashamed of my body. I secretly started taking diet pills and tried to eat as little as I could, and worked out in dangerous amounts in accordance to my practically non-existent calorie intake. This was all SO ridiculous, because not only did it NOT work, but it made the depression worse. I lost it for a bit. I had no food in my system; I became depressed, I hallucinated, I couldn’t get out of bed. It was awful.
I moved back in with my mom, mid-semester. Just before Christmas break a professor asked me, “Annie, can you even look yourself in the mirror and say you’re worth it?” we tried… I couldn’t. She made me stay in her office, until I was sobbing, looked myself in the eye and said, “I’m worth it.”
I decided it was time to make a change. I took a year off from school to focus on myself. I practiced thinking positive thoughts, every day, if I had a poisonous thought, I would replace it with a positive and somewhere along the line, I found clarity. The darkness started melting away. I was becoming me again. I ran (as a hobby) only if and when I wanted to. I ate delicious foods, bought clothes that made me feel good; I stopped caring about what I looked like. I started realizing, “Wow… I’m not ugly! Why did I think I was!?!”
I realized, I can celebrate EVERY DAY! I can do something that makes me happy, I can allow myself to be wowed, I can smile EVERY DAY! And it doesn’t matter what I look like! WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK? I can be happy! I DESERVE to be happy!
- I have thrown away my scale. I am beautiful no matter what! As long as I am happy, that’s all that matters to me.
- I removed poisonous people from my life, I took time to myself, and rediscovered my beauty.
- I allowed myself to fall in love with myself, to love every nook and cranny my body has to offer, I allowed myself to fall in love with LIFE! Love life and life will love you back.
You just have to try and stay positive, be kind to others, not care what people think, and enjoy your life, no matter what cards you’ve been dealt.
Edit: Please do not feel the need to say negative things about my dad as he has recently passed, and him and I have reconciled.
I’m including this particular picture because normally I am not comfortable smiling in photos, and even if they’re decent, I delete them.
I’ve struggled with insecurity for most of my life, and recently I have managed to develop a self-esteem where once there wasn’t one. I truly believe in what this blog stands for and any person that promotes love and happiness, especially finding that within themselves. It’s taken years, but I really feel like I’m approaching a real relationship with my body and myself.
You, reading this, are beautiful. You are worthwhile, smart, amazing, and anyone would be glad to know you. I believe that. True, sometimes I still have bad days. Overcoming insecurity and developing a relationship with yourself is not an easy task, but it is achievable. I believe that, and I sincerely hope you do as well.
Some things I believe are key to loving yourself and your body are to never be afraid to ask for help when you need it, never lose hope that things will get better, and if something or someone is harmful or unhealthy, cut it from your life.
Stay Beautiful! :D
This is my mummy and me.
I love her more than the world.
I’ve seen my dad beat her, and he’s beat me too.
Neither of us wore anything that showed our legs until recently.
We finally told the police and we have a restraining order on my dad.
We can wear skirts and shorts now.
I know it’s not that big, but to me, it’s all i wanted.
We are finally free.
My name is Ellie and I didn’t listen to anyone when they said I was beautiful. What caused me to realize was one simple lyric in Kimya Dawson’s ‘Parade’.
A big fat mama in a thong and a college girl with nothing on share a laugh over a lemonade!
Hey, I’m a big fat mama in a thong, too!
I’M IN NEW YORK CITY, DON’T I LOOK SO PRETTY? HEY!
Trigger: eating disorder
I have struggled with anorexia since I was 15. I’m 20 now, and finally at a good place in recovery. I was hospitalized twice, spent years in therapy, but until a few months ago my mind was just as sick as it was when I was at my lowest weight. I was never bullied, I always had good friends and a supportive family. But for whatever reason, I never felt good enough. I was never enough.
I finally came to the conclusion that my body is my home, and I have to take care of it. And in the end, a little extra fat on my body isn’t the end of the world. It used to be. For so long, I imagined death to be better than being fat. Now, well, I’m so much happier now. I’m relaxed, I enjoy spending time with people, I enjoy going out to eat, I love rest days as much as exercise days, I’m happy to spend all day in bed reading.
I used to think I could be “recovered” and still stay at a low weight. Honestly? I dare you to try and gain the weight. It will make such a difference in your energy levels and peace of mind. I promise it’s worth it. It’s so much easier to recover when your body is healthy.
Happiness is worth so much more than skinny. Remember that, and love your body! You are beautiful because of who you are. And you are always, always enough. Just the way you are.
For seven years, I’ve been wearing so much makeup to try to make it up for the way my body looks. I’ve been bullied for seven years, and I was really close to suicide a few years back.
Looking back at pictures with old friends, with family or even just a normal picture of me, you see how self consious I am. Or, was.
The bullying did break me down, and I didn’t think I’d ever get friends or even have my family love me. But now I have a few, close friends, my family is perfect and they love me, and I am feeling good about myself. I am maybe not perfect, and the most normal girl, because I am crazy as hell. All I want to say is; it gets better, and don’t you dare give up!
Love yourself, it is hard but when you do, it feels amazing.
It took me a long time before I found the courage to actually submit to this site. I have never really liked the way I looked, my face, my body, even my personality wasnt satisfying to me. People have called me ugly many times, they have called me an attention seeker, they said my ass was to big, to fat, to jiggly. My mouth was weird, so were my lips. I was weird in general, different. To silent, to this, to that. The smile you see there, is from the side I always thought was the ugliest. Because it was not like anyone’s smile. Its my smile. For some reason people have always liked to bring me down. But you know what? Not anymore. I am good enough. That I am not society’s way of beauty, doesnt mean I am not beautiful. Cause I am.
I am not wearing any make up here. Make up is a product that make people think they are more beautiful. To live up against society’s standart of beauty. I dont want to be that way of beauty, I want to be my own kind. And I am proud to say that I am learning to love this jiggly, big ass. To love this smile, face and personality. This is what God has given me, God doesnt create ugly. What he makes with his own hands, is pure beauty. So to everyone who thinks that they are ugly, to fat, to skinny, to tall, to short, to whatever. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! You are made with Gods hands, you are beautiful. And there will not ever come a day were you wont be beautiful. Embrace yourself, you’re worth it. :)
hello readers, my name is Koral and i was on here maybe back in august on 2011, a lot has changed since then last time i was here i felt like i was the ugliest person in the world and that i needed to lose weight. NOW there as been a change i am happy with myself. but then again I’m still having doubts, i feel like i have never been good enough for anyone, i think losing weight for me is really hard i feel like food is my best friend i love sweets and stuff ! don’t get me wrong but all of my best friends have been tiny and my boyfriend is a baseball player and foot ball, and basketball/: i mean i cheered and played volleyball but that was never good enough, there are times i feel really big and just nasty. i don’t feel pretty sometimes, but you know what i have realized there are things about me i like, like i love my hair and smile, eyes are defintaly my favorite part of me, I’m trying the healthy way to lose weight and eat right, there are always people who are going to make comments but don’t let them mean anything ! we are all BEAUTIFUL! and i love all of you who post <3 your all amazing :)