Posts tagged negative body image
Posts tagged negative body image
This is a piece that took me months and months to work on regarding my own self-image issues. It touches on the bologna we are taught in terms of the beauty standard and the distaste of vanity. (lose/lose) Have a go if you like. :)
Over the past couple of years I have lost a lot of weight, after being overweight my entire life. Because of this, there’s a few things I need to get used to. For example, the other day, I went to get a new bra because my old one was 2 sizes too big. But, even when I was bigger, my breasts were still tiny in proportion to the rest of my body. It’s strange especially coming from a family where the women are all fairly big chested. I remember being teased in school and by friends growing up and I had internalized it all for years. Most of the time my small breasts and wide rib cage make me feel insecure and less feminine than my female counterparts. But yesterday, I felt beautiful and it was amazing. I remember just the day before I was struggling a little bit, but this lovely girl on tumblr sent me a nice message telling me I’m “pretty” and you know what? I think it helped. I think that just those few simple kind words were enough to allow myself one self hate free day. I guess you never know how much you can really affect someone else with just a few words. So, the next time you might be afraid to message anyone on here, just go for it. They may need it more than you’ll ever know. Anyway, each day is different and sometimes they are good and sometimes not so much. But, I am making an effort to have more good days than bad.If that means dancing around and singing along to my favorite songs in my underwear, then that’s what I will do.
P.S. All of you who submit to this blog are fucking beautiful and so inspiring and have made me unafraid to finally submit myself, so thank you! :)
P.P.S. I would love to talk with all of you lovely people! http://forgettingregret.tumblr.com/
I went through a huge growth spurt in 8th grade and to my dismay found stretch marks growing along my thighs. I went through much of my life trying to hide them, guys would tell me to my face that stretch marks were gross because they would never have thought that I would have them.
Every summer all my friends would go swimming in their cute bikinis and I would wear basketball shorts to hide my insecurity and I would go on body image blogs to try to make myself feel better but all the stretch mark posts seemed to be from girls who were bigger than I was. I felt that not “thin” girls had them, I would slyly check my friends bodies when we would change or just ask them but all of them didnt have any.
Then last summer I said “fuck it” I wanted to wear cute shorts (like the ones imaged above) and I did. It made me more confident that I didnt have to hide something and you know what? In the end stretch marks dont matter to guys. The summer I wore those shorts I got a boyfriend and we are still dating. I realized that we all have things we dont like about ourselves but that shouldnt hold us back, when I didnt hide my insecurity anymore I was able to have more confidence, I still get shy when I can tell someone is looking at them but I get past it. My body is my body and there are a ton of girls than have stretch marks just like me, there is no reason to be ashamed of something that makes up who you are.
I guess my point in submitting this is so that other girls can see that people of all body types and ages have stretch marks and that it is okay. Go out and go swimming or dancing and shake that ass regardless of its stretch marks and I will be right there dancing alongside you.
I’ve been “fat" my whole life.
Yes, I enjoy food.
I sometimes eat too many cookies.
I will never have a thigh gap.
And I am just fine with this.
Something I’m not fine with, is the hatred of fat bodies,
Especially when it’s your own.
My mother has never loved her body.
I doubt she ever will.
My grandmother damaged my mom and my aunt badly.
They are both very particular about food.
My grandmother believes health coincides with weight.
She eats treats all day but doesn’t gain weight, So she must be healthy.
My mom barely eats at all, just protein and meal replacement shakes.
My grandmother doesn’t even realize why her daughters are so insecure.
With some luck, love, and as much confidence as I can muster,
I can break this cycle.
I do not want my daughter feeling ashamed of her body.
Afraid to eat in front of anyone.
Afraid to eat at all.
I’ve been there, It’s not worth it.
There is so much more to life than the number on the scale,
Or what you see in the mirror.
You owe nothing to no one but yourself.
Not your mom, not your dad, not your grandma.
Eat cake. Be happy.
Hello wonderful people! I’m Sarah, and over the course of a few months I’ve become a stronger person. I love being able to wake up in the morning and like what I see in the mirror. My first thought is ‘maaaannn, your lookin’ hawwwtttt’. Knowing I’m good enough changes how I act towards people and makes me much more grateful for all I have.
The first picture was taken when I first started restricting. I can hardly remember what was going on in my head back then, all of it seems like a blur. I knew that I believed ‘10 pounds lighter and everyone will like me’, or ‘If I was skinner, my boyfriend would love me more’. This went on for far to long and I ended up at less than 110lbs at 5’7”.
I realized that losing weight changed nobodies opinion of me positively. I hated myself.
Literally, I wanted to die.
All it takes is to start loving yourself. It sounds simple, but in our society we grow up with the idea that we’re not good enough. I struggled for a long time, and I still have days where I ‘feel fat’. But I’ve come to love myself, and who I am. I know I’m destined to do amazing things, and treating my body right will help me get there.
The last few are recent pictures. I exercise, eat a ton, and am NEVER going back to my restrictive life. Coming to accept who I am is the best thing I’ve ever done. My body is amazing, I am so grateful for everything, and I love you.
♥Sarah ( skin-scape.tumblr.com )
This is me (Forgottenwishesforbiddenkisses.tumblr.com/), i used to be a self loathing teenager that hated every aspect of her body. I found it difficult to even look in the mirror because i would break down in tears. i hated myself because of what people had said, what years worth of bullying had coursed me to believe. I used to self harm, i used to have very little respect for myself and even waking up would be a massive struggle because i didn’t want to be around i thought nothing would ever look up but now it is 285 days since i last took a blade to my wrists. and i am proud, proud that i have come this far. i know that i am beautiful. There is still day’s where i cant find one good thing about myself but there is also the ones where i cant find one bad thing,. i’m positive about the future now and you should be too.
Hello, beautiful humans! My name is Kenna, and I am overwhelmingly happy to say that I am finally proud of who I have become, and of my body. My story is long and triggering, so I’ll just highlight the details.
I have grown up in a world in which outer aesthetics were emphasized over the content of one’s personality. I was a chubby kid (and I suppose I fall into that category now, as well) in a skinny family, and I always felt out of place and not good enough. I felt like I had to compensate for my size - because I had been conditioned to believe that it made me less worthy of love. As a result, I became obsessed with the idea of perfection and pleasing everyone around me - to the extent that I developed pretty severe anxiety. It was really hard for me to open up to people about how I was feeling, so I just closed myself up and put on a smile. After all, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.
In the 7th grade, the exclusion and cyber bullying (formspring was a battleground) I suffered from my peers and my feelings of worthlessness compounded into a pattern of restriction, binging, and purging. I went to great lengths to conceal this from my family and friends, still trying so hard to please them. And all I kept thinking was - it will all be okay once I’m thinner. once I’m thinner, they will love me. Once I’m thinner, I’ll be enough. That same year, I began cutting my wrists with a box cutter, because my emotions were so strong, and I had no other outlet - no other way that I could feel anything.
When I entered into high school, I was still self-harming frequently, still dealing with obsessive behavior in almost every aspect of my life, and still miserable. I was able to stop the disordered eating behavior for the most part, thankfully, after an intervention by my lovely, caring friends. I still dealt with urges to relapse, but I was much better in that regard. The self-harm got really bad (I probably should have gotten stitches a few times) but I still dealt with it alone.
At the end of my junior year, I was truly at my breaking point. Stress from school was at an all-time high, my friendships were a mess because of how withdrawn I was, I allowed myself to be abused emotionally by boys because I thought that was what I deserved - and through it all, the only thing I knew how to do to cope was cut. A lot. One day, I stumbled upon a YouTube video by Jenna Anne (Lesbian Answers on YouTube) that I had favorited a few years before, when I was straightening out my relationship with food, and I broke down crying. I made the decision then that I wanted to be better. To get help, and to finally, finally feel worthy. Exactly the way I was.
And since then, I’ve been completely changed. Today, I’m a 17 year old high school senior. My life is not perfect - in fact, it’s far from it. I relapse. I make mistakes, and I know that sometimes, I will fail, but I’m trying. And I’m so much happier. I am so thankful for my scarred, stretch marked, size 8 figure. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. It is so, so liberating to be able to say that I love my mind, my body, my ability to empathize and love deeply and to care for others. I love my willingness to open up and show my colors to people - something I was never able to do before. I now know that I am worthy of love, and I won’t allow myself to be mistreated. I have a wonderful, loving group of close friends and a bright future, and I can’t believe how far I’ve come.
If you are dealing with any of the issues I did/do (anxiety, bullying, ed*, self-harm, or any form of insecurity), please feel free to message me. I promise I will do my best to help, and I truly know how it feels. You are all beautiful, wonderful people, no matter what your story is. I love you all.
-Kenna ( kennamydear.tumblr.com )
* I am not currently, nor was I ever, diagnosed with an eating disorder, despite my clearly disordered behavior, in the spirit of full disclosure.
tw: mentions of eating disorder.
I am a big girl, who loves a skinny boy. And I’ve dealt with a lot because of this. People never know why we’re together. People ask me if I intend to lose weight to make him happy. People flirt with him in front of me, assuming I am some friend because there is no way a thin man would choose such a big woman.
And I’ve been in recovery from an eating disorder for almost three years now, so I’ve dealt with my own negativity. I’ve had a lot of my own issues with my body, without all of this being added.
I’ve asked him a million times if I’d be happier if I was thinner. And on my bad days I picture that gorgeous girl he “deserves”.
But he loves me. My size is just a fact about me. It doesn’t matter.
If someone thinks you’re “too thin” or “too big” or “too muscular” or “not muscular enough” or “too tattooed” or absolutely anything, then that is their problem. It is not your job to adjust to what someone else wants you to be. Because you will find someone who loves even the things you hate about yourself.
I am a big girl who loves a skinny boy, and I wouldn’t change a thing about either of us.
My name is Abigail and if you’re interested in making friends or ever need a place to vent, my ask box is always open! (foundthroughtheupsanddowns.tumblr.com)
Photography done by Natalie Plausini photography
BODY POSITIVITY: PLEASE REBLOG!!! - (also trigger warning)
The past two weeks I participated in a body Image program for gay men. It was for the Psychology Dept. at my university and I really wanted to take part in it to broaden my horizons on this subject. The program was really amazing and for one of the”homework” exercises my group was asked to write a letter to an adolescent boy about pursuing the “ideal” body. I wrote mine so it could be gender neutral so I can include anyone going through this at a young age. My letter:
Life at this age can be very difficult when it should be fun, free and liberating. People your age can be quite harsh and society itself, through the media, can send mixed messages that can discourage you. Please realize that your body is a gift that you can call your own, so love it and cherish it the way you should. Once you learn to love your body you will soon be able to love yourself; and that is the greatest power that anybody could have. Don’t let anyone or anything tell you how you should look. If you ever want to change your image, do it for yourself and not for the outside world. The “perfect” bodies that you see in magazines are not at all perfect. Not only because they are manipulated and altered, but simply because the state of perfection is unachievable. To be perfect is to be devoid of all flaws. Since everybody has flaws, there is no such thing. It doesn’t exist. But you must learn to accept your flaws and love them because as much as people don’t say it: imperfection is true perfection. I wish someone could have given me encouraging words when I was a teenager because it was a truly hard time for a lot of people. But what I hope is that you take my words and heed them because it really does get better.
Love your body. And love yourself.
Please spread this video so my message can hopefully reach those who need it
I grew up using clothing as a tool to combat my body image that I knew I could not change otherwise. I wore long-sleeved shirts to conceal the size of my arms and high-waist shorts to conceal my stomach.
I now know that fashion should be used as a form of self-expression and not as a method of hiding your body. I love my body and I know this love should be shared with the world.
Large arms signify strength (not to mention I can probably give some gnarly hugs) and my tummy is mine, and I have learned to love her.
Fashion should be fun. Make your choices based on how you want to present yourself, not based on the parts of you that you would rather not be presented.
You can find me over athttp://morgue1996.tumblr.com/
This photo was taken a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and it’s one of very few photos of myself that I feel good about. I’m aware that it doesn’t really show how my body looks, but I picked it because it was a very big deal to me.
I have had low self esteem for as long as I can remember. My classmates in primary school bullied me about practically everything; my weight, my clothes, the fact that my parents were poor, the fact that I was always reading, the fact that I wasn’t into the same things other girls were into, the way I spoke, the way I ate my lunch, the fact that I was always way ahead of them, the fact that I was nice to the girl with autism. Everything, really. I only made my first friends when I was 13, and then still nobody understood what they were doing with me.
Then, when I was 16, I dated a boy who thought it was the most important thing in the world for his girlfriend to be skinny. He basically kept me from eating whenever he could, even though my doctor kept telling me I needed to gain weight. Once, when one of his friends offered me some crisps, he yelled at him for “fattening up his girlfriend.” This boy had quite a lot of mental health issues, and he was basically always emotionally abusive and unpredictable. It didn’t end well. He ended up convincing me that I was to blame for his depression. It was quite horrible, actually. It dragged on for almost a year and a half even after we officially broke up. By the time it was over, there was nothing left of me.
I was always relatively thin, up until the moment I left high school when I was 18. I gained quite a lot of weight after that, and for the longest time I believed that it was imperative for me to lose it again. Until I realised that I couldn’t remember ever feeling comfortable in my own skin, and that it might not have that much to do with my weight. Gaining weight didn’t actually change that much for me, except maybe for the way people interacted with me. I developed wide hips and large breasts at approximately the same time, so aside from nasty comments from my family and aforementioned ex boyfriend about ‘getting fat’, I received catcalls from strangers and inappropriate comments about all the things people would like to do to my ‘fine ass’ and ‘awesome rack.’ This, as I have often tried to explain to men, is not flattering, just embarrassing, disrespectful and not okay. I can’t explain how angry it makes me that we live in a world where people are taught to believe that it is.
Lucky for me, I am in a relationship with someone who makes me feel good about myself. I can’t describe how good it feels to have someone think you’re beautiful and believe them, even if you can’t always. I’ve just started to realise lately that maybe I haven’t been treated right. I’ve been through a lot of crap, and perhaps I should be proud for making it as far as I have. I’ve felt horrible about my body all of my life, and it just started to dawn on me that I don’t deserve that. I am kind and funny and smart and I would do absolutely anything for the people I love, and I deserve better than to feel this way.
I know that I will probably always carry this with me, but I am learning to love myself. Other people can do it. So can I.
Every time I walk out the door people stare at my body in a negative context. I have what I guess they call a “non-normative body” I was born with a physical disability called Cerebral Palsy. When people look at me all they see a girl with canes, to them my body appears “Non-normal” but I would say its strongly mismatched with my identity. I have never truly felt limited by my disablility or that I walk with canes. My Disability has never defined me I’ve defined my own normal. I may have to use canes but my soul and mind are not disabled. I’ve never had insecurity when it comes to being a person that has Cerebral Palsy, I have had insecurities with things that go with this such as: that my arms seem so big compared to the rest of my body for carrying my body weight for 29 years, or that my hands are covered in callouses from using canes. I mean this is what comes with having a disabled body right? What can I do to fix it?
I wasn’t sure how to fix those things but what I was sure was that I could prove myself and show that my body isn’t the limit of what I can do! Inside this body was a lust for all things great in this world, great conversation, great friends and great adventures. I would use my energy to focus on the good that I can do then the negativity that usually comes with how I am viewed. I have been in Mosh Pits at Rock concerts, worked on movie sets, and just signed up to run a 5k! There is nothing I can’t do! I’ve taught middle school kids and started my own business.
I’ve had a lot of negativity thrown my way with my body from society, peers, and relationships that has caused me to not think that a disabled body can be beautiful. Instead of thinking of my own thoughts of my body I spent most time fighting what society perceives of me more. We live in a superficial world where people are judge based on whats on the outside. Well when they see me they think I’m not smart, or that I can’t do things, Illness repulses and people don’t want a part of that. So I’ve spend more time saying "hey my mind and soul are beautiful" and while that is the most important by far you know what my body is beautiful too!
People have often told me I was beautiful but I thought it was because they felt sorry for me because of my disability. My friends and family said it to me often but I never gave it much thought. I know that I am beautiful on the inside and thats truly all that ever mattered to me. I never looked in the mirror and thought “yeah I’m beautiful.”
Which is funny because I think it is essential that we create a world where people feel okay in their bodies, express themselves through their bodies, and feel comfortable navigating this world in their body, I support health at every size yet I go around covering up my own tummy and arms. I loved the beach but I was so scared to show off so much you would never see me in a swimsuit. (look at me now! yay!)
I am just now learning what it means to inhabit my body. It wasn’t until I could see myself through a guy I had a relationship with that I started to see the things he loved and didn’t understand about my body, soul, and mind that it got me thinking about them as well. Having him call me beautiful causes me to now look in the mirror saying he was right I am beautiful. Him not understanding my body and ultimately ending things has made me become more in tune with who I am as a whole package. I’ve often felt insecure that I had tummy and tried to do things about it but when I started to explore yoga and work out I realized “I have no core muscle due to my Cerebral Palsy!” but that doesn’t mean I can’t work to have it!
Having a person show me that all of me is indeed beautiful makes it easier for me to navigate the tumultuous world we live in. My only hope is to now do that for someone else. It doesn’t happen right away. Do things that make you feel good. Try a new beauty thing, take some fun photos. Have insecurities with a part of your body? Show it off more! Don’t give it the power! One day I will lose all my insecurities and today is a step in that, next the end of all of insecurities!!
Hello, I just found out about this blog and thank you for making it.
I have an insecurity with my tummy. I might be skinnier but the tummy isn’t changing at all. I don’t wear swimsuit because of it. I am generally fit and I like sports but I don’t look like it because of my tummy. It bugs me.
I’m going to do anything to become healthier, eat healthier, move more in order to feel better and don’t gaf about what my body looks like. As long as I’m healthy my body is good.
Now 6 months ago, I would have cringed at the idea of showing my arms in their entirety. I would have hid them at all times because of how gigantic I thought they were. I covered myself in long, dark clothes and made sure I covered my arms and legs even in the hot Australian summer. I was a month away from ending up in hospital due to my eating disorder diagnosed as EDNOS, and had lost an unhealthy amount of weight through restriction and exercise. My life was so narrow, everything I did was to lose weight. I isolated myself, was very unhappy and hardly talked to my friends at all. I was miserable and was damaging my body everyday because of how badly I felt about it.
Within the next month I entered an Eating Disorders Unit, then the Day program. It was so scary and stressful at first, but I knew I needed to let go of the dangerous control I had over my body.
I have been weight restored for 4 months now. It was the best thing I ever did for my body and I am so much more kind and at peace with it now. I have come such a long way from waking up everyday and feeling horrible about my body and weak with exhaustion. I eat what I feel like eating and don’t push myself to exercise if I don’t feel like it. I even wore a sleeveless dress to my year 12 formal! My arms are naturally quite big and muscular, but you know what, who cares? Not me, and probably not anyone else for that matter either. I’m done with hating how I look. Now, I celebrate that I have arms that are strong instead of trying to hide them! Goodbye to hating my arms and body. Goodbye to you too ED, I’m not letting you back without a fight!!
I’m pretty lucky - I have a wonderful family and a privileged upbringing. I’ve also suffered from depression for 10 years, and body image dismorphia for the last 3 or so.
Not many people know about it, not because I’m ashamed, but because I don’t want people to think I use it as an excuse.
I spent 8 years working in the health and fitness industry, which crushed my confidence in myself and my body. I was an athlete too, martial arts to be exact. I haven’t trained in years because of a hip injury that required surgery. I stopped taking part in other sports too. I quit my health and fitness job and started work in an office based job, and of course put on a little weight. I still work out daily, but I also stress eat. I can’t help but feeling like a failure when I see myself in the mirror.
My real friends are very kind to me and always tell me to stop being so silly and of course I’m beautiful, and my husband is amazing. We’ve had 9 years together and he’s seen me at my worst, self harming and all, and he’s seen me at my best. He’s supportive if I want to lose weight, and supportive if I want to eat cake. He’s my rock. I just want to be beautiful for him.
I have an angel and devil on my shoulder - one tells me “fuck it all, eat what you want, YOLO,” while the other says “don’t you want to feel beautiful and wear whatever you want without feeling self conscious?”
I’m trying to reconcile the two and find a happy medium. I don’t wanna waste my life obsessing over how I look. Life’s too damn short.