Our mission: to love ourselves, every last inch! To support others, help build positive self esteem! This is The Body Peace Revolution!

This is a place of encouragement, a place to talk about body image, a place for feeling beautiful. No matter what you look like, what color, what gender, what size or however many "flaws", healthy, not healthy, working on it, we are all human, we all deserve to be happy, we all deserve to love ourselves. With this blog you will see all kinds of REAL bodies, REAL people, REAL stories.

-PLEASE READ FAQ before messaging

-BE AWARE some posts may be triggering depending on submissions, check for trigger warnings and tags. Also any harassment will be met with blocking and a report to Tumblr Support

 

"You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!" I get messages like this all the time, and it makes me so sad.
I am fat. Every stranger on the street, every medical professional, every concern troll on the internet, and every restaurant booth I can’t fit into would unanimously agree that I am, indeed, fat.
I am beautiful, too. From my red hair to my thunder thighs to my big belly to my gorgeous lips, I am in love with my body. But my love affair with my body is a personal one, and using my beauty as some kind of validation doesn’t sit right with me.
I could have mismatched eyes, “too much” body hair, I could have one leg or three thumbs or a flat chest. I could shave my head or have pockmarks, be riddled in stretchmarks and cellulite, I could be what most people would consider “butt ugly.” And it doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t make me any less worthy of love, of respect, of happiness and decency. It shouldn’t lessen my chances of living a happy and fulfilling life, chasing my dreams and not worrying about being harassed.
If you truly want to empower a person with a compliment, don’t go with the physical. Tell them they’re an amazing artist, talk about how empathetic or what a good listener they are. Tell them they bake a lasagna that’s to die for. Tell them they’ve always been there when you need them and you appreciate that.
We live in a culture that’s beauty obsessed. Just look at any magazine, any ad for makeup or clothes. Beauty means success, sex, worth. Complimenting someone strictly based on their physical appearance only exacerbates these unfair beauty ideals. I know I’m guilty of it, I do it all the time, even today I did it! But just think about your reasons for doing it.
Beauty is overrated. How awesome a person is and how they treat the people around them? That’s the ticket!

Love,
Amber
(reposted from my instagram, feel free to follow!)
(necklace from Fancy Lady Industries!)

"You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!" I get messages like this all the time, and it makes me so sad.

I am fat. Every stranger on the street, every medical professional, every concern troll on the internet, and every restaurant booth I can’t fit into would unanimously agree that I am, indeed, fat.

I am beautiful, too. From my red hair to my thunder thighs to my big belly to my gorgeous lips, I am in love with my body. But my love affair with my body is a personal one, and using my beauty as some kind of validation doesn’t sit right with me.

I could have mismatched eyes, “too much” body hair, I could have one leg or three thumbs or a flat chest. I could shave my head or have pockmarks, be riddled in stretchmarks and cellulite, I could be what most people would consider “butt ugly.” And it doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t make me any less worthy of love, of respect, of happiness and decency. It shouldn’t lessen my chances of living a happy and fulfilling life, chasing my dreams and not worrying about being harassed.

If you truly want to empower a person with a compliment, don’t go with the physical. Tell them they’re an amazing artist, talk about how empathetic or what a good listener they are. Tell them they bake a lasagna that’s to die for. Tell them they’ve always been there when you need them and you appreciate that.

We live in a culture that’s beauty obsessed. Just look at any magazine, any ad for makeup or clothes. Beauty means success, sex, worth. Complimenting someone strictly based on their physical appearance only exacerbates these unfair beauty ideals. I know I’m guilty of it, I do it all the time, even today I did it! But just think about your reasons for doing it.

Beauty is overrated. How awesome a person is and how they treat the people around them? That’s the ticket!

Love,

Amber

(reposted from my instagram, feel free to follow!)

(necklace from Fancy Lady Industries!)

I got asked this tonight, and it made me uncomfortable, as it always does. I answered with a shrug and an “I don’t know…” and the person followed it up with a “you look good!” I have a lot of trouble synthesizing that, for a variety of reasons.
1) bodies are intensely personal. I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to ask someone about weight loss or weight gain, especially an acquaintance.
2) the follow up of “you look good” upsets me. Do I look less good if I weigh more? Does how good I look directly correlate with whether I’ve lost weight? The insinuation most people have that thinner=better is so obvious in even the most innocent remarks like this.
3) what if I have lost weight, but it’s because I’m working a full time job, a part time job, juggling 5 classes, a club, and being on a student leadership council? Is not having enough time to eat still “good”? Is the fact they my fridge and cupboards are mostly bare and I’m too poor to fill them “good”? What if I’d been ill and it caused me to lose weight? Is that good? The truth is you can never tell why a weight fluctuation in someone happened, and it’s really bad to assign positivity to a change in body size without knowing what a person is going through.
4) this person couldn’t just say “you look good?” And have that be it?Assigning moral value to body size will always make me uncomfortable. The person who did this meant no harm or ill will, but it just made me really think about how pervasive the message that “thinner is better” is.Y’all, unless you know for a fact that someone is actively trying to change their body weight and is looking for encouragement, don’t comment on their weight. It’s a big trigger for a lot of people. Your self worth and goodness is not tied to your pants size. Remember that!
PS: my favorite thing to reply when someone asks if I’ve lost weight is “oh gosh, I hope not!!” People are usually so shocked by that, it shuts them right up.
Love,
Amber
(reposted from my instagram, feel free to follow me @randomlancila!)

I got asked this tonight, and it made me uncomfortable, as it always does. I answered with a shrug and an “I don’t know…” and the person followed it up with a “you look good!” I have a lot of trouble synthesizing that, for a variety of reasons.


1) bodies are intensely personal. I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to ask someone about weight loss or weight gain, especially an acquaintance.


2) the follow up of “you look good” upsets me. Do I look less good if I weigh more? Does how good I look directly correlate with whether I’ve lost weight? The insinuation most people have that thinner=better is so obvious in even the most innocent remarks like this.


3) what if I have lost weight, but it’s because I’m working a full time job, a part time job, juggling 5 classes, a club, and being on a student leadership council? Is not having enough time to eat still “good”? Is the fact they my fridge and cupboards are mostly bare and I’m too poor to fill them “good”? What if I’d been ill and it caused me to lose weight? Is that good? The truth is you can never tell why a weight fluctuation in someone happened, and it’s really bad to assign positivity to a change in body size without knowing what a person is going through.


4) this person couldn’t just say “you look good?” And have that be it?
Assigning moral value to body size will always make me uncomfortable. The person who did this meant no harm or ill will, but it just made me really think about how pervasive the message that “thinner is better” is.
Y’all, unless you know for a fact that someone is actively trying to change their body weight and is looking for encouragement, don’t comment on their weight. It’s a big trigger for a lot of people. Your self worth and goodness is not tied to your pants size. Remember that!


PS: my favorite thing to reply when someone asks if I’ve lost weight is “oh gosh, I hope not!!” People are usually so shocked by that, it shuts them right up.

Love,

Amber

(reposted from my instagram, feel free to follow me @randomlancila!)

Say hello to our newest mod!

This is Stacy!

image

Stacy’s been a member of SHYB for a long time, and among the posts she’s submitted, she’s also provided some incredible art for SHYB as well! She’s a gorgeous individual inside and out and she has a lot to bring to the table, we’re SO happy to have her on board!

Here’s some background on Stacy in her own words!

"The world of body image struggles began very early for me; I was self-injuring at only 7 years old, and was in full blown ED mode by age 12. I spent 6 months in an eating disorder treatment hospital when I was 19, and I’ve spent the following 8 years working diligently to heal the broken bonds between my body and me. I made great progress, and have been fully recovered from Anorexia and Bulimia for more than 6 years, and I have not cut myself in almost 4.

In 2010 I was in a car accident which resulted in a variety of permanent injuries, including herniated disks, severe nerve damage, torn ligaments, trauma-induced fibromyalgia, and even more that is still undiagnosed. During the last 2 years I’ve continued to decline, and a result I now spend almost all of my time in a wheelchair. When I lost my health it felt like I lost everything; from big things like my career, my health, and my mobility, to more unmeasurable things like my wardrobe, my respect, and my confidence. It felt like I lost all the ground I had gained through my ED recovery, and I was right back to loathing my body. I became extremely depressed, and attempted suicide in January 2012. After I survived, I realized that I had to do something, and soon. I developed a “Body Peace Project” which was a very genuine effort to apologize to my body, to forgive myself, and to accept my current condition. I also began to be an advocate for others with disabilities and chronic illnesses, and that activist work was tremendously beneficial for my own mental health.”


Please feel free to give Stacy a warm welcome while she gets acclimated to being a mod. We’re so excited to welcome her to the SHYB family and we’re looking forward to the future!
 

Love,
 

"I feel like you don’t post up certain submissions because you don’t like them. Kind of messed up."


This was a submission under a false email that we recently received. I feel it important to respond to it publicly.

We publish ALL posts that are submitted to us, unless they are before/after pictures, body negative, have pictures of fresh cuts, or underage nudity. I know that there’s a lot of rules on the submission page, but as long as they’re all followed, your post will absolutely be published!

In the case that we decide not to publish a post, we try our best to contact the person who submitted it to tell them why.

We have nearly 50,000 members, and sometimes posts slip through the cracks. We’ve had people swear they submitted multiple times, and yet it never shows up in our inbox. We’ve had people submit, and only the picture shows up, not the text. We’ve had all sorts of glitches happen. Tumblr isn’t perfect! But I thought it was important to put it out there that we would NEVER not publish a post because we ‘don’t like them.’ 

In other news, our deadline for mod applications was January 1, but I’ve been taking two intersession classes at school and I’ve been swamped under schoolwork. Hopefully now that they’re over, Annie and I can start going through the applications and pick a new mod!

Thanks, guys!

Love,

Amber


A note about ‘Concern Trolling’.

stophatingyourbody:

Hi everyone. Amber here!

I wanted to address something that I’ve seen not just on SHYB, but on Tumblr, and actually in fact, everywhere both online and off. It’s called concern trolling.

Concern trolling can take many forms, but the basic gist of it is the following:

(picture of a fat girl)
Concern troll: I’m really glad she’s happy with herself but that’s really unhealthy!
or
Concern troll: She should really be exercising and eating better! Her joints must be taking a beating!
or
Concern troll: Oh my god, she’s going to die if she doesn’t change her lifestyle! 

(picture of a very slim girl)
Concern troll: She’s beautiful but she should really eat a sandwich!
or
Concern troll: She MUST have an eating disorder!
or
Concern troll: it’s not healthy if I can see her ribs!

Basically anything that starts out with ‘I’m glad she/he is happy/proud/loves him/herself, but…’

These people can appear on any kind of post, using any variation of comments. The one thing they have in common is the guise of ‘concern’ or ‘helpfulness’ to the original poster.

It’s important for everyone reading this to realize just how unhelpful this is to everyone. Fat people know that they’re fat. Skinny people know they’re skinny. Everyone who has some kind of ‘abnormality’ (and I use that term very loosely) is perfectly aware that they have it. 

You cannot tell someone’s health by looking at them. Regardless of whether they’re 70lbs or 400lbs. What’s more important then that, however, is that the health of anyone else has absolutely nothing to do with you. For anyone to judge anyone else under the guise of concern is incredibly condescending and unkind. 

Remember the golden rule: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

It’s important to remember that people are revealing their biggest insecurities when they submit to this blog, and it’s very difficult to be that brave and vulnerable. All we ask is that as a community, we ALL support one another to have a happy and positive outlook on life.

This is a body positive space. ALL bodies are good bodies, and EVERYONE deserves to be happy and have positive self esteem regardless of the size of their bodies, how healthy they are, or anything else that’s purely physical. If you disagree with this mindset, perhaps SHYB isn’t the blog for you.

As always, we mods can’t catch everything, so if you see someone concern trolling or making negative comments on ANY post, PLEASE tell us about it so we can remove them from the site. You can either send us an ask, or submit the link to the post so we can take care of it.

Thanks for reading, and stay beautiful!

Love,

Amber

Be supportive, or be silent!

Please remember that the people who submit here are very brave, sharing pictures and stories that are incredibly personal.

If you do not have a nice comment to make in response to a post, don’t reply at all.

I’ve been seeing more and more negative comments to posts lately, and it’s completely missing the point of this blog. 

This blog is about support and acceptance and NOT judging. Not yourself, and not other people. Even comments like ‘I’d kill for her body’ are completely counterproductive. Negative body talk does not help anyone.

Repeat offenders run the risk of being banned from the site. And as always, if you SEE someone commenting negatively, please tell us. You can submit a post with a link to the post and the username of the offending comment.

Unfortunately we mods simply can’t look at every comment made on every post. We’re counting on you to help us out to make this a safe, supportive community for EVERYONE who submits.

Thanks!

Amber

annieelainey:

WERQ THEM ROLLS! <3
This is my body, this is my beautiful and healthy body. I shouldn’t have to pull the “healthy” card, but it was implied that this picture is proof that I am not healthy and that is WRONG.
Health comes in all shapes and sizes and whether I am healthy or not, my health status does not have anything to do with my beauty or my humanity. I am a human being, I am not my body, my body is merely a part of me, and it is beautiful. Your body is beautiful as well. Never let the words of others influence you into believing otherwise.
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!

annieelainey:

WERQ THEM ROLLS! <3

This is my body, this is my beautiful and healthy body. I shouldn’t have to pull the “healthy” card, but it was implied that this picture is proof that I am not healthy and that is WRONG.

Health comes in all shapes and sizes and whether I am healthy or not, my health status does not have anything to do with my beauty or my humanity. I am a human being, I am not my body, my body is merely a part of me, and it is beautiful. Your body is beautiful as well. Never let the words of others influence you into believing otherwise.

BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!

stophatingyourbody:

SUBMISSION FROM THE CREATOR OF SHYB

Trigger Warning for mentions of abuse, past-tense negative self image, mentions of   obsession with being thin, temporary unhealthy amounts eating/exercise

Many of my insecurities and self-esteem issues stemmed from my father being abusive in the home towards both my mother and I, he was the biggest bully I’ll ever know. My mom found escape in her work, so I became dad’s main target. He would make me feel as though I was much larger than I actually was, and make me feel as though it made me ugly. He would make fun of my nose, my fat, and just degrade me.

Without realizing, my very best friend turned out to be an emotional manipulator. She was obsessed with becoming thin, she filled my head with ideas such as “no one is ever going to respect you if you’re not skinny, no one’s ever going to like you if you’re not skinny, you will never get work as an actor if you’re not skinny.”

I’d fallen for it, I felt ashamed of my body. I secretly started taking diet pills and tried to eat as little as I could, and worked out in dangerous amounts in accordance to my practically non-existent calorie intake. This was all SO ridiculous, because not only did it NOT work, but it made the depression worse. I lost it for a bit. I had no food in my system; I became depressed, I hallucinated, I couldn’t get out of bed. It was awful. 

I moved back in with my mom, mid-semester. Just before Christmas break a professor asked me, “Annie, can you even look yourself in the mirror and say you’re worth it?” we tried… I couldn’t. She made me stay in her office, until I was sobbing, looked myself in the eye and said, “I’m worth it.”

I decided it was time to make a change. I took a year off from school to focus on myself. I practiced thinking positive thoughts, every day, if I had a poisonous thought, I would replace it with a positive and somewhere along the line, I found clarity. The darkness started melting away. I was becoming me again. I ran (as a hobby) only if and when I wanted to. I ate delicious foods, bought clothes that made me feel good; I stopped caring about what I looked like. I started realizing, “Wow… I’m not ugly! Why did I think I was!?!”

I realized, I can celebrate EVERY DAY! I can do something that makes me happy, I can allow myself to be wowed, I can smile EVERY DAY! And it doesn’t matter what I look like! WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK? I can be happy! I DESERVE to be happy!

  • I have thrown away my scale. I am beautiful no matter what! As long as I am happy, that’s all that matters to me. 
  • I removed poisonous people from my life, I took time to myself, and rediscovered my beauty. 
  • I allowed myself to fall in love with myself, to love every nook and cranny my body has to offer, I allowed myself to fall in love with LIFE! Love life and life will love you back. 

You just have to try and stay positive, be kind to others, not care what people think, and enjoy your life, no matter what cards you’ve been dealt.

Love, annieelainey

http://annieelainey.tumblr.com

BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!

Edit: Please do not feel the need to say negative things about my dad as he has recently passed, and him and I have reconciled.