Posts tagged men
StopHatingYourBody
On a mission to live a body positive life
I’ve submitted once on here and had a bit of feedback, and I appreciate every word that was sent.
I am extremely skinny and tall, and this has caused quite a bit of greif through my life, even from my own siblings. Even now, I receive giraffes from my parents and family because of my skinniness and the length of my neck. They find it humorous; I, however, do not.
As you can probably see, I’ve quite a few stretch marks on my hips, and even more on my back. I hated them most of my life, but it wasn’t until recently that I’ve come to love them. They’re marks wish a story, telling me this is who I am.
And the reason why I am naked in the picture above is because my penis is my largest insecurity. In this generation, so many people talk about who has the biggest one. A man’s worth and ‘manliness’, at least amongst other men, is mostly measured by the length of it, and it’s hard having confidence when yours is only average. It’s the hardest thing to accept and I wish I didn’t have to feel so low about my masculinity because my member isn’t as big as someone else’s.
Thank you so much for reading this.
I feel the need to address this complex that is more than apparent when it comes to issues regarding women and: makeup, clothing and weight.
The “MEN PREFER WOMEN …” complex (not the official title).
Some how in a discussion people bring everything back round to a male perspective - “Why is she trying to lose weight? Everyone knows MEN PREFER WOMEN with curves!” Which can be as easily transferred to ‘Why is she wearing that much makeup…” “That little clothing…” And so on. It is a common belief that the only factor that dictates what decisions a woman makes to or with her body are based on a man’s opinion.
I’m more than certain that at some point I’ve implied that, if not thought it. I’m sure everyone has. It’s one of the things you don’t usually think twice about. But, once you realise the error in what you’re implying and the effect it has you are half way to bettering your attitudes to others as well as yourself.
You need to realise that you are not a preference. You are the only person who dictates how you look, what you wear and how much you weigh.
I have always looked through this blog and read all of your inspiring posts. You are all wonderful and brave. Since I found this blog, I really wanted to submit something about myself, that is a big part of my life and interactions. So today I decided to finally do so! My name is Lisa, I am a twenty-one year old art student from NYC and I am pretty damn awesome, so you would think people would see past discolored teeth.
I used to be very, very depressed about my teeth. I took medicine for my asthma as a child that permanently stained and essentially stripped away a lot of enamel on my teeth. My left front tooth is particularly bad, and a conversation starter, because apparently that is totally appropriate. I was always a lanky and dorky looking girl with very crooked stained teeth. No one, and I mean NO ONE was happier to have braces cover them up for over six years. Well, even with metal covering the stains it was still noticeable. Stupid people would ask stupid questions, I never smiled with my teeth. At all. I was ashamed.
On one lovely day, I had an Orthodontist appointment, he told me my braces were coming off. I was a junior in high school and had never seen my teeth straight. I basically freaked out, made up an excuse and left. Totally scared to have my teeth exposed again. I knew I would struggle with dental work as a young adult because of the damage the medicine did. HOW TO FACE THIS?! Well, after much thought and a follow up dentist appointment made, just in case I was ‘repulsive’, I went to the Orthodontist. That day my braces were removed. My teeth were still discolored, but they were kind of straight! I was so happy just to see my teeth again I have never stopped smiling with my teeth since. And I have grown kind of fond of my little stain, and the not so bright whiteness of my smile. I like my teeth as they are, and I don’t care how many people ask me what happened, tell me there is food or lipstick on my teeth. I will just grin at them because…fuck it, I’m beautiful motha-fuckas. Like all of you, ladies and gents’! Keep on being amazing.
I am a 19 year old male. I am also a United States Marine. I feel insecure about my body because of how scrawny/skinny I look. I usually feel judged by those around me but I never actually hear them say anything negative about me. I feel like I need to have the chiseled abs. Large biceps and triceps and defined pecs. Marines too have self image issues as well I know another Marine who feels the same way anout themself. Marines aren’t perfect. My motivation to keep my head up comes from not myself but from the title I have earned.
There is one thing I love about my body though. That tattoo on my chest makes me feel better about myself most of the time.
www.lcplwang1161.tumblr.com follow me if you want.
I work as a cashier and I often get to watch the negative affects magazine headlines have on customers. This one in particular hit a nerve on a personal level. So I Fixed it! All I see now, is a bunch of confident ladies and gentlemen rocking it at the beach. Don’t let the media tell you what your body is or isn’t. The shape of your body doesn’t make it “better” or “worse”. Every body is a good body.
My body has cranked along, mostly mostly healthily for nigh on fifty years now… with some conscious care-taking on my part, of course. I might have harmed my body from time to time, but that would have been only unconsciously; that was never my intent.
Being so mostly comfortably functional, I have had much to appreciate about my body. I occasionally give thought to some parts of my body that have always worked well: my lungs, for example. When I get a cold or flu, even, it’s unheard of that I’ll get a cough or a wheeze. Asthma, emphysema, pleurisy – I wish all the healing to those who have such, but my respiratory system has never been so beset. Hooray! – That’s just an example. Surely your body has its own successes, too. Appreciate them!
——————————————————————————————
I have never been uncomfortable with my gender. I have never been uncomfortable with my sex. Being male all around? Fine with me. I won’t buy into anyone’s asserting that that’s intrinsically inferior.
——————————————————————————————
It often strikes me when people talk about “beauty;” the old saw about it being in the eye of the beholder (or, as I think of it, in the mind of the perceiver) has only ever been true. I think a lot of people miss the point when the ascribe “beauty” (or, by the same token, “ugliness”) to people by dint of looks alone. That is a shallow notion of beauty as it applies to people. Definitions of “beauty” involving exclusively aesthetics are harmless (if possibly incomplete) when applied to things that are not people: sunsets, paintings, flags, songs, &c. There may be more consideration of what those things mean apart from aesthetics, and some of those could involve notions of beauty, but no person is being considered unfairly if all that analysis is applied to a human creation or a feature of the natural world. If, however, the way a person looks is all that is taken into account to judge them “beautiful” or not, the most important things about a person are being discounted – disregarded, even. What makes a person “beautiful” or “ugly” is determined by what they value, their honesty, their fairness and love toward others – the content of their character, as a more insightful person once described it. Like: would you consider a person you consider good-looking but who is also bigoted to be “beautiful”? What do you value?
It sincerely baffles me that anyone can not think that they themselves are good-looking. I hold that people can determine their own opinions, and opining positively about how you look should be A-#1 on anyone’s list. Needless to say, I think I am good-looking. I like the way I look, no matter what. I’m the only one who looks like me, so that’s good enough. My features, my body, the way it is naturally – those are all part of what makes me, me! They’re an expression of my genes; why would I want to change that? Why would I want to change any of that? Get a nose job, say: why? There’s nothing wrong with my nose as it is. It’s healthy and functional and looks like the one my father had: a winner! If it functions properly, don’t change it, is what I think. If I can’t like my healthy body the way it naturally is, then it’s my attitude that needs an alteration.
(I sincerely think I’m good-looking, and I also sincerely never expected anyone else to think I’m good-looking. It’s not resignation, it’s just that I don’t care. I don’t fit the pervasive standards of male good-looks. Again: so what? We all get to set our own standards of good-looks in people. Do you do this? It’s a liberating attitude.)
I always like what I see in the mirror. Always.
——————————————————————————————
So, for me, I have no desire for any tattooing or piercing or branding or such. The only good reason I myself would have for permanently changing my body would be for a matter of health or survival. Decoration doesn’t qualify. (But that’s just as far as concerns my own body; I truly have no opinion about if any other adult does that to their own.)
Ah, but my body already has been changed, unnecessarily, but not by my own doing: shortly after I was born, I was circumcised. It was the way of my people, and when I say “my people” I mean “suburban middle-class European-descended people in early-1960s USA.” What I think about that now is: I don’t care. All other things being considered, I wouldn’t have chosen to have it done, myself, but now that it has… so what? It honestly doesn’t matter to me; I have been curious about, but have never pined for, my lost foreskin. My having been circumcised is part of my own personal history, and it never caused me any loss of health or functionality, so I can accept it without further thought.
Sexually, my physical being has never been the problem.
——————————————————————————————
My dictum concerning human appearance is: The way you look is the way you look. Meaning: that’s all it’s worth. There’s no more significance than that. Each person has to look like something, and yours is the way you look.
About people who criticize other peoples’ bodies, I figure: Those critics have bodies themselves. Let them be concerned with their own bodies before they get down on those of others.
——————————————————————————————
My body was always on the slender side, and in the mid 1980s, after I first became a vegetarian, my new diet caused me to lose enough weight to become noticeably skinny. (This was never a goal of mine, just an unexpected result of eating the foods I preferred.) For a while some of my co-workers gave me the stupid usual “Hey – are you anorexic?” jibes, yuk yuk. That was not surprising. But, one thing I really couldn’t abide, was that around that time I would occasionally see a certain relative (who I never much was at ease with as it was) who would say to me – first thing, even before “Hello, Adam!” – something along the lines of: “You’re so skinny! What’s with your body?” I really took umbrage at that; happily, I had enough self esteem to know I was okay, and that that person was out of line. I didn’t argue the point, but I’ve never really gotten over that slight. It’s just plain rude to make comments about people’s bodies… I don’t think any readers here need to be told. (Around this time I remember reading a Dear Abby letter from a naturally skinny woman who had this same problem of other peoples’ comments, and that really impressed me.)
I also take issue with the pointed jibes against the demon Barbie doll toys, at least when people claim that were Barbie to be a real human with those proportions she “probably would be anorexic” or some such diagnosis. Well, no: Human bodies can naturally come in all shapes and sizes, including really skinny. Why the presumption?
——————————————————————————————
If there’s a standard of looks to which media ascribe and they use that to determine which people to depict then they wind up showing a lesser and lesser degree of different appearances. How boring is that!
So the media promote images of people widely considered good-looking; so? The straightforward antidote to media’s presentation of people is to go out and about in the real world and observe how people there look. Go to any given airport, library, Little League game, city council meeting… what have you, and there you will see (and be part of!) the mix of people how they look in real life. You can be sure what you see will not be Photoshopped. That’s reality. If you live there and appreciate it, any medium’s reductionist presentation of how different people look will seem absurd and uninteresting.
——————————————————————————————
I am certain that, had I been adopted, my parents would have been the same caring and loving people toward their child, but knowing my genes are a combination of those of the greatest parents in the world is just another thing for me to appreciate about my body.
——————————————————————————————
Around thirty years ago, I thought of this sentence: “You are astounding, whether you know it or not.” This was when I was learning about and considering the details of human biology: For instance, your body is organized down to the molecular level. It – you! – is doing incredible things without any of your conscious control. There are white blood cells fighting off microbes. Your pupils dilate in the dark, yes – but did you know there are further chemical changes in the retinas that also adapt your eyes to see better in low light? Your body is assembling proteins and cells right now: see how your hair grows! You’re incorporating oxygen atoms into your body right now as you breathe. Your brain is regulating all sorts of stuff – a lengthy list, were you to look it up. All that is part of your body, too. You can’t help it! The more I learn about the body’s biological functions, the more I’m amazed.
——————————————————————————————
A few months ago I did find myself thinking “my stupid body” about my body; this was in response to getting impatient about having to maintain it with feeding, exercising, washing, physicals, &c. But I realized that was a grossly discounting and negative attitude about my own self, so I let go of it. I have to value myself more than that! (So, I’ll save such expressions about having to use the effort and resources to maintain my “stupid” car or my “stupid” carpet… things that really can’t be insulted.)
——————————————————————————————
This photo is of my body on the cusp of turning 50. I have no desire to “look younger.” Why shouldn’t I look my age? Botox and Grecian Formula? Fuck it! There’s no benefit to changing my appearance. My salt-and-pepper beard? Love it! These lines on my face? I earned every last one of them.
I put a full-body picture up because I want to consider all of my body: head to toe, front to back. Nothing gets left out of what I’m talking about, here.
So here’s an image of my body, Adam’s one and only body. I hope it stays alive to be 101 or more!
——————————————————————————————
You may look at this picture and think whats so special about this. Its just a average girl and boy, im the girl i have severe anxiety and depression, I’ve had it since I was 12, im 17 now. The past few years I’ve found it hard to cope, I’ve tried to commit suicide 5 times. I cut. I cry my self to sleep most nights but you see that guy, he’s my hero, he’s saving me from myself. When im wih him I cant stop smiling, he makes me feel beautiful, understands, theres not a moment when he has out me down, he doesent make me feel useless or used, things are starting to look uo for the better because of him, I dont have to fake a smike anymore. He is my angel. Http://forgottenwishesforbiddenkisses.tumblr.com/
Let me tell you something about gender and body image.
When I was younger and seen as female, I was always called out on having too much weight, no waist and no butt in my pants. I never understood what the problem was. My body image was always positive, for I felt that I was beautiful. I liked my pale skin, red hair and hands.
Sure, I knew this body was not meant for me. There were strange things like “breasts” and I lacked of other body parts, that I might never possess.
After I discovered what felt so wrong about my body, going through hormones, therapy and surgeries, I got rid of what used to bother me about my physics.
Now that I have become accepted as male, the problems turned into the strong contraire. I am seen as too skinny, feminine; with hips that are too wide. A funnel chest showed up after the mastectomy was done. I have strong insecurities about that hole in my chest and the way the muscles behave along with it. But my lover has helped me a lot in stopping to care about it.
——
Society has a weird understanding of beauty. People are unhappy with themselves, yet unhappier with people they do not understand. The more if they do not meet the gender spectra.
But I have found happiness in being what I cannot change (being too small and thin for the average man), and what I do not want to change (being stared at for the long nails I kept, because I just love them so much).
In the end I realized nobody has to be happy with what I am, what I express or what I look like. Nobody but me. I can deal with being neither a female nor a male beauty ideal. I can smile at myself in the mirror and know that my smile is the most expressive trait of me and if I ever had the chance to speak to every single person that made fun of me, I know I would have changed their views. But they might never go down the ways we went.
I have found much support though. Believe me, there are so many people out there, whom you do not need to explain your whole story to. They will look at you, feel no hate but compassion and they will like you. So like yourself for what you are and the body you have. No matter how much you think you are imperfect, you are not. It’s an imperfection only your mind creates.
Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen… being thin DOES NOT mean your life is just automatically better, that you’ll ALWAYS be happy, or that you’re somehow some goddess of beauty.
I’ve been “underweight” for my entire life.
My first day of school in kindergarten, my mom was interrogated by “concerned” parents. … “Do you feed your daughter?” or “is she normally that skinny?”
Throughout my childhood, people would ask, “are you anorexic or something? I bet you’re bulimic”. This isn’t a compliment. It makes me feel like you’re saying that I don’t believe that I’m beautiful, that you don’t see me as beautiful, and that I look down on anyone that weighs more than me. I have spent years trying to prove that I’m not self-hating, not trying to be skinnier, and not concerned about my weight. Somewhere around middle school, I actually had to sort of train myself to avoid the bathroom (even if I had to pee) for 2-3 hours after eating to make sure nobody actually thought I was making myself puke up my meal. I do it unconsciously now. Throwing up is actually on my list of phobias, on the top 3 (next to spiders… I’m not really afraid of needles anymore, thanks to IV class).
I’m like a teenage boy, I have to eat as much as possible all of the time. I’m hypoglycemic, so if I don’t eat every two hours or so, I get extremely grouchy, exhausted, and irritable.
EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to my doctor’s office, she comments on my weight. “oh, you’re still the same weight. How many meals per day do you eat?” *concerned expression* I feel like I’m being INTERROGATED because it’s in my genetic code to be thin. Two words: Fast metabolism.
My doctor finally did find out that I have a digestive issue… I’m gluten and dairy intolerant. People tend to want to encourage me to eat all of the time, so when they offer me food and I have to deny, the look they give is so… judgmental.
I explain, “I’m sorry, that actually used to be one of my favorite foods and it looks and smells SO GOOD, you have no idea, but I’m gluten and dairy intolerant.” They think I’m on this diet to LOSE WEIGHT. Almost every time, they say… “oh, so THAT’S why you’re so skinny!” … no.
I tell them, I’m on this diet because it is actually supposed to help me GAIN weight. And it is! The intolerance means that my body has been unable to properly absorb some vital nutrients! Don’t get me wrong though, my whole family looks like this. My mom was 90 lbs when she got married and she doesn’t have a single health problem.
People used to always watch what I was eating, and would scoff if I left anything behind.
I had a friend who suffered from an eating disorder and she starved herself to try to get to my size. She copied everything I did to try to get the same results. It broke my heart when I found out.
Hurtful things that have been said to me because I have a fast metabolism:
- Nobody wants to fuck a bag of coat hangers
- Nobody can cuddle with a stack of bones
- You call me beautiful but you don’t understand because you’re skinny.
- You don’t actually think I’m pretty (this is when I compliment someone that complains to me about weight). You’re skinny.
- Are you anorexic or something?
- oooooh, so THAT’S why you’re so skinny
- I’ll carry this, I don’t want you to break.
- I’m going to feed you a pound cake a day until you gain some weight.
- Girl, you need some MEAT on your bones.
- Why don’t you just try to eat more?
- REAL women have curves.
- If you want boobs, just gain some weight! It’s that simple!
- Why don’t you fill out your training bra? You’re supposed to be able to fill the whole cup.
- You don’t need a diet, you’re skinny enough as it is!!
- Here, take my food. You look like you’re dying.
- You’re lucky, you can get anything you want at any store!
- You must be size 0! (actually, no. I have HIPS. I can’t even squeeze in to a size 0)
I’ve been interrogated, devalued, and unappreciated for most of my life simply because I’m thin. THIS IS THE WAY I WAS BORN. I truly think that women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful, but somehow, when I compliment heavier women, they don’t think I’m NOT being genuine.
Even with all of this, I still think I’m beautiful. I still love my body. I still appreciate myself and make sure my body is in balance.
Ladies, Gentlemen… “Skinny is beautiful” is an unrealistic standard set by the media. Being thin, again, does not mean you’ll be happy. It does not mean you’ll be accepted.
ACCEPT YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Only then will you be happy, healthy, and even accepted by other people’s standards. If you’re trying to impress people that are pushing you to unrealistic standards, THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.
I used to struggle with myself. I used to think that because of my thinness, I looked like a terminally ill patient and that I wasn’t a real woman because I didn’t have an ample bosom or sexy curves, or meaty thighs.
I fought through that self doubt IMPOSED BY OTHER PEOPLES’ MISPLACED JEALOUSIES AND UNREALISTIC STANDARDS. I am BEAUTIFUL as I am, because this is how I was made to be. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE, BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY YOU WERE MADE TO BE.
WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!
The secret to beauty? SELF CONFIDENCE!!!!!!
again, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!! If your “Friends” are telling you that you aren’t pretty, or if you’d be pretty if you did this or that, or you need to lose/gain weight… THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. THEY WILL NEVER BE TRUE FRIENDS. AND THEY WILL NEVER HELP YOU BE HAPPY.
STAND STRONG IN WHO YOU ARE!!!! LOVE YOURSELF!!!! LOVE OTHERS!!! TAKE HOLD OF WHAT YOU HAVE AND OWN IT!
The Problem With Skinny Bashing - Article
Above is a photo of myself, loving who I am after a long journey of figuring out how to do that.
Something has been heavy on my mind for a while now and it’s finally time I share with this community. My thoughts are on shaming. Shaming people, to be exact. There are many forms of social shaming, including body shaming, sex (or “slut”) shaming, racial shaming, gender shaming, and any other form of discrimination against people for reasons that should be considered completely unacceptable. I am sick of seeing and hearing people essentially HATE other people!! Because shaming someone for one thing or another is without a doubt a form of expressed hatred. I am a non-confrontational person for the most part but I am going to be doing my best from now on to say something when I see it. I personally cannot live in a community of such intolerance and hatred, even if my speaking out means that I myself become a social target.
Because I relate to this category very personally, I want to focus primarily on body shaming for now. Body shaming is defined as inappropriate negative statements and attitudes toward another person’s weight or size (whether small, big, or anywhere in between) or other physical attributes. Also related is body policing, which can be defined as any behavior which (indirectly or directly, intentionally or unintentionally) attempts to correct or control a person’s actions regarding their own physical body because it does not conform to social norms, or is not deemed appropriate for a particular setting or preference. You’ve heard it before, phrases like “She needs to eat a cheeseburger”, “Real men like women with curves”, “He needs to lay off the Twinkies”, “Ever heard of a treadmill?”. WHY is this wrong? Because other peoples bodies are NOT YOUR BUSINESS. While you are entitled to have your preferences, it is completely unacceptable for you to shame someone because they do not fit those preferences. How dare a person be so cruel as to make another living, breathing, FEELING person feel less than human simply because they don’t match their preferences. Our species is so varied in our physical states, our mental capacities, our social habits, our needs and desires, our likes and dislikes… that we are all bound to find people and things that suit us without trying to force change upon the things and people who do not. If you don’t like something that doesn’t make it wrong so stop treating it as if it does.
If you want to try excusing body shame by saying it is for health purposes that you concern yourself with other peoples’ bodies then please, let me reiterate: other peoples bodies are NOT YOUR BUSINESS. This includes their health. Besides, outward appearance is no sure indicator of what is going on inside of a person. A person’s body business is between themselves and whomever they choose it to be, whether that is a physician, family, significant other, or no one at all. Unless you are asked, your opinion is unwarranted and in many (if not most) cases, unwelcome.
I can’t express enough how sick this subject makes me feel, having been a victim time and time again throughout my life, of body shaming. I regret certain things I have personally done as a result of feeling sub-standard and insufficient because I listened to the LIES that outsiders were feeding me about myself. The truth about myself and about every single living person is that we are all beautiful and desirable and deserving of love. Love for ourselves first and foremost, because you are the only one who is there from your birth to your death and there is no sense in being cruel and hateful toward yourself while living in a society which is itching to do that for you. The acceptable kind of love is not a love FOR your body nor is it a love IN SPITE OF your body. It’s just love. I don’t care if you’re missing half your features, you are a human being with life inside of you who has feelings and emotions, existing in a cruel society filled with ludicrous standards conjured by ignorance. We are beautiful beyond the words designated to tell us so, simply by the fact that we are alive. Do not let anyone dictate how you perceive yourself and don’t be someone who tries to impress a negative image or feelings onto others. The bottom line when it comes to body shaming is that some people have cellulite, bones that show, rolls, scars, freckles… some have curves and some have no curves. Some people are skinny, some people are fat, and some people are in between. But ALL PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
To those men, women, girls, and boys who hate who they are for one reason or another, PLEASE don’t. Please take time to think about why it is that you dislike one thing or another about yourself. Is it something somebody else caused you to feel was wrong, whether on purpose or subliminally? Is it because you don’t match up to what you see in ads, movies, magazines and on TV which are all tools to screw our minds into believing in one cookie cutter lifestyle? Is it because someone you love and whose opinion you esteem makes you feel inadequate and like change is necessary for them to love you the way you want to be loved in return? There could be as infinite a number of reasons why you don’t like yourself as there are the things you don’t like about yourself BUT I’m here to tell you that you DON’T have to choose oppression, depression, or self hatred. Ask yourself, when there are billions of people in the world with vastly different preferences, why you would waste your time and peace of mind trying to twist yourself into the mold of anyone who doesn’t like you as you are? Ask yourself, do I value my own happiness or am I willing to let my mind and emotional (and even physical) health deteriorate for the pleasure of someone else? Someone else who should have respect enough to leave you be and go for someone who actually matches what they’re looking for so you can carry on finding someone who is looking for exactly you? Ask yourself, should I be tearing myself apart for the things beyond my control such as the shape of my nose, how many pimples I have on my skin, the way my legs curve, the texture of my hair? Even far before finding someone who will love these things about you, you should first learn to love those things you thought unlovable about YOURSELF. While another person’s love can help you learn to love yourself in new ways, it is important to first love and accept yourself inside as an individual. When your self worth hinges on the value someone else puts on you as a person it’s unhealthy. When you bring yourself as a whole person into a relationship you can then compliment eachother, and not complete eachother, as the popular cliche goes. You should not have an empty or partially empty life that needs completing by means of another person. I digress, as the subject here is not of relationships, but of body acceptance versus shaming.
A huge pinnacle in the anti-shaming revolution is self love, a radical concept that is actually not all that radical. The ability to love yourself is one of the most important aspects of life. Self love is the hub of peace of mind, mental, emotional and physical health, and all of the outward love that follows. Unfortunately for a huge number of people it is also one of the hardest aspects of life. When you don’t love yourself, you are basically telling the Universe that you are unworthy or undeserving of any love or positive outcomes that have the same vibrational match as love. For a lot of people this concept is a mystery. Maybe loving yourself feels unnatural because you’ve been ingrained for the longest time with self sabotaging thoughts. People may ask “How do I love myself though?”. There are tons of ways to love yourself, and don’t worry when it doesn’t happen over night. Start small. Think about what makes you you. Appreciate the good things and accept what you consider flaws because nobody is perfect and imperfect can be lovely. Make a very conscious effort to stop criticizing yourself. Your worth doesn’t go down because you made a mistake. Post a visible memo if you have to. Give yourself credit for your efforts. Stop worrying about things and do your best. You know, the basic and common sense stuff. When you have that down move on to the harder stuff if it exists. The people with body image issues. Face yourself in the mirror every single day and force yourself to pick at least one thing you like or love about yourself. Concentrate on that thing, praise that area out loud. Once you have a full appreciation for that thing, pick something else and repeat the process. Once you have enough things that you admire about yourself to where you don’t feel half bad, look at something in your reflection that you’re not so ok with. Think about that less than admirable thing and consider why you don’t like it. Don’t concentrate on it too hard or you might find yourself starting to criticize. Maybe you’ll realize the reason is silly and dismissible though. Instead of criticisms, think about the ways that it makes you unique and how it could possibly be considered nice. Touch it. If it’s your belly, close your eyes and lightly run your fingers across its skin. Concentrate on the texture of your skin. Think about the curve of your belly and what lies inside of it that helps sustain your body and keep you functioning. Appreciate that you work. Do this to any area you find unappealing. It doesn’t matter if these things are padded with fat or if the outline of your bones show through. They are yours. There is absolutely no shame whatsoever in deciding you’d rather spend your life paying attention to something other than the weight of your physical body. There is no shame in deciding you look fine just as you are. Or even better than fine. There is no shame in deciding to just be. I understand it’s not simple but loving and accepting yourself begins with a choice and takes commitment. The results are immense and can change every aspect of your life.
Please guys, don’t be the people who make it harder on eachother. For the people who are guilty of shaming others, if all that reading this does is make you aware of what you’re saying the next time you say something negative to someone, or consider for even just a second that you could really be hurting that person then fine, something was still accomplished. To those of you who struggle with being shamed whether by others or yourself, there is more out there for you than the oppression of a lack of worth impressed on yourself or on you by others. You are a human worthy of affection and love, if not from others, then at least and most importantly from yourself. It’s time we started treated people like people. Not like a number on a scale, an inch measurement, a shape, a color, a gender, or physical ability or disability. Do your best everyday to treat others with the same courtesy and respect you yourself expect, would appreciate, and deserve.
**********************************
I know this was long but it has felt so important for me to say for the longest time. It’s completely essential to my very being to openly speak about this and other things as well. To anyone who took the time to read this, I really appreciate it and hope it makes some sort of difference to your life in a positive way. This is, of course, writing based on my own opinions toward life and personal interactions so none of it is really up for debate with me as far as I’m concerned but I am open to discussions. I commit to making myself available to anyone who would like to talk, who seeks my advice or opinion, who has questions they feel I could potentially help them with, or just needs an ear in general. I really try to have a heart of love for people so please, don’t be shy.
Ashley <3
hunter—eyes.tumblr.com
I MAY NOT HAVE HAIR OR MANY FRIENDS, BUT I HAVE HOPE AND A STRENGTH WITHIN ME THAT I KNOW WE ALL HAVE! <3
Stay Strong - Tough Times Don’t Last, Tough People Do! x
Hi I’m Hannah, I’m 18 and when I was 16 I lost ALL of my hair in just 10 days! It was a massive shock and with other issues as well, I let things get me down! (Weight Loss, Self-harm, Suicide attempts, etc,) until I realised that NO ONE but me can control my life, and although I can’t control my hair-loss or seizures etc, I can change my attitude towards life and also help change things for others struggling by helping/inspiring them! I make youtube videos helping with all sorts and always love to get video requests!
I AM ALWAYS HERE TO HELP AND CHAT JUST CONTACT ME! :)
Youtube: bouncybunny100
Twitter: @XLovatoLover1X
Tumblr: xlovatolover1x
I normally don’t smile, but I feel the need to show the world how happy I am that when I’m having a particularly crappy day (with comments constantly thrown at me about my appearance& weight) I can come onto this blog and read all the positive things that all you beautiful people write. Thank you for keeping my head clear of negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones ♥
You’re lovely
We live in a society , where you’re worth is measured by the things you cannot control . Like your wieght , your colour , your hieght , the amount of pimples that you have , the number of things that you own , etc .
We are taught that if we don’t achieve perfection, we’ll never be good enough no matter how hard we try. Though those messages arent sent directly , but somehow they are saved in our minds without us even realizing.
So, I’m here now to remind you that you’re worth is not determined by :-
1.How fat or thin
2.How tall or short
3.Either you’re white or black
4.Your eye colour
5. Your straight hair or your curly hair
6.The amount of pimples that are on your face
7.Your grades
8.The amount of things that you own, and how expensive they are
9.The amount of friends that you have
10.The money that u have right now in ur purse , pocket , etc
11.Not even your age
12.The calories that u eat daily
13. The amount of time you spend infront of the mirror
14.The number of Guys/Girls who asked u out
15.The likes u get on your statuses
16.The compliments that u get daily
You are :-
1.The number of smiles u put on other people’s faces.
2.The Number of times u made someone’s day.
3.Those times when you chose to do the right thing, when everything/everyone around was trying to convince you not to.
4.The times you rose after falling, and what u picked up along with you.
5.Those words that u left unspoken , because u thought that no one will ever be able to understand them or relate to them.
You are the person that you were meant to be….so rather than wasting your time trying to achieve perfection or change your outter appearnce… work on your inner appearnce.
Don’t feel disappointed because you’re not like anyone around you..because you were never meant to be like anyone and noone was ever meant to be like u.. just like u were never meant to be like anyone else…
You were made to feel a purpose that only you can do.
So, “Be the change that you want to see in the world” ♥ ♥
I used to be in the Marines and in better shape. Now that I am out I am just now beginning to accept myself for the way I am. I look at myself and feel sad at remembering how I use to look and that I use to be more typically attractive. I don’t like to think about it all that often to be honest.
feel free to follow me on mygoodfight.tumblr.com
hi! thank you so much for this blog! it and all of the beautiful people who submit to it are such an inspiration! <3 i have struggled with my self-image since i was about 10 years old and only this past year did i start to learn to love who i am as a whole, inside and out. my new found confidence is do partially to blogs like this, and the amazing men and women who put their time and energy into them. i am so happy with how far ive come and want to encourage others to embrace and love the body they have. you are beautiful! <3
