Posts tagged men
Posts tagged men
Hello, Tumblr! My name is Kris, that’s my face up there ^^, and this is my second time submitting to SHYB. While I have come a long way in some areas of my life since first submitting, there are still things that I struggle with and that’s okay.
I think a lot of us have this notion that the ultimate goal is to have no hang ups about our bodies and how we perceive ourselves, but I think that’s along the same lines as striving for perfection. Perfection is unattainable.
Being comfortable in your own skin doesn’t mean feeling absolutely great about yourself 100% of the time; it means striving for peace with oneself, but it also means knowing and accepting that there will be some moments when things are less than perfect, state of mind included.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that self-acceptance is certainly not easy, and it is okay and perfectly normal to struggle. Struggling is part of the journey, so don’t be discouraged by it!
I want to end with something I’m looking forward to; I registered for my last semester of college recently, and one of the classes I signed up for was yoga. I’m very excited to delve into the practice and to build upon the relationship between my mind and body. :)
Thanks for reading! I wish all of you guys the best in your endeavors!
Never been a big fan of my size due to being Vietnamese, but you just learn to love it, basically, just smile more. It really does make a difference.
This is the belly of my boyfriend.
I love putting things into his bellybutton and cherish each hair on his belly.
Embrace your hair and bellies, because they are awesome <3
Closets Are For Clothes
This photo was taken a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and it’s one of very few photos of myself that I feel good about. I’m aware that it doesn’t really show how my body looks, but I picked it because it was a very big deal to me.
I have had low self esteem for as long as I can remember. My classmates in primary school bullied me about practically everything; my weight, my clothes, the fact that my parents were poor, the fact that I was always reading, the fact that I wasn’t into the same things other girls were into, the way I spoke, the way I ate my lunch, the fact that I was always way ahead of them, the fact that I was nice to the girl with autism. Everything, really. I only made my first friends when I was 13, and then still nobody understood what they were doing with me.
Then, when I was 16, I dated a boy who thought it was the most important thing in the world for his girlfriend to be skinny. He basically kept me from eating whenever he could, even though my doctor kept telling me I needed to gain weight. Once, when one of his friends offered me some crisps, he yelled at him for “fattening up his girlfriend.” This boy had quite a lot of mental health issues, and he was basically always emotionally abusive and unpredictable. It didn’t end well. He ended up convincing me that I was to blame for his depression. It was quite horrible, actually. It dragged on for almost a year and a half even after we officially broke up. By the time it was over, there was nothing left of me.
I was always relatively thin, up until the moment I left high school when I was 18. I gained quite a lot of weight after that, and for the longest time I believed that it was imperative for me to lose it again. Until I realised that I couldn’t remember ever feeling comfortable in my own skin, and that it might not have that much to do with my weight. Gaining weight didn’t actually change that much for me, except maybe for the way people interacted with me. I developed wide hips and large breasts at approximately the same time, so aside from nasty comments from my family and aforementioned ex boyfriend about ‘getting fat’, I received catcalls from strangers and inappropriate comments about all the things people would like to do to my ‘fine ass’ and ‘awesome rack.’ This, as I have often tried to explain to men, is not flattering, just embarrassing, disrespectful and not okay. I can’t explain how angry it makes me that we live in a world where people are taught to believe that it is.
Lucky for me, I am in a relationship with someone who makes me feel good about myself. I can’t describe how good it feels to have someone think you’re beautiful and believe them, even if you can’t always. I’ve just started to realise lately that maybe I haven’t been treated right. I’ve been through a lot of crap, and perhaps I should be proud for making it as far as I have. I’ve felt horrible about my body all of my life, and it just started to dawn on me that I don’t deserve that. I am kind and funny and smart and I would do absolutely anything for the people I love, and I deserve better than to feel this way.
I know that I will probably always carry this with me, but I am learning to love myself. Other people can do it. So can I.
I’m Kinslee and this is a picture of me at my “heaviest” since high school.
I’ve never had problems with my body as a whole. I’ve never thought of myself as unattractive because I was one size or the other. I figured out a long time ago that sizes for women aren’t regulated from store to store or even from style to style in the same store, so I know that I am more than the number on the tag. I also have never felt like I was “overweight” or that my body fat was bad.
That being said, I have had an addiction (of sorts) in the past to diet pills. Why would I take them if I am comfortable with myself? Well, I have a heavier bottom half than top half. That’s why.
Let me explain…
In the past, the size of my butt has been the target of street harassment, jokes from my peers, and has been the reason I’ve been sexually assaulted. Yes, I have been followed to my car in the dark after leaving a store because “White girl has a nice ass”. I’ve been stalked through malls by groups of men, shouting “where’d you get a booty like that?” I’ve been called thick by more than one person and I’ve also been called heavy by my own family. Contrary to what some cultures and groups and genders believe… THESE ARE NOT COMPLIMENTS AND I AM NOT FLATTERED. The comments and stalkings drove me into a desperate attempt to rid myself of my ass. I became a vegetarian, ate less than 1200 calories a day, and took 3 different diet pills religiously in the hopes of making it go away. Problem was, I got smaller but my proportions didn’t change. I still got the comments but they were even more frequent.
I eventually became fed up with it and said “FUCK THIS! I AM NOT CHANGING MYSELF! I WILL NOT BE SCARED INTO A SIZE 00!”
Today, I eat what I want, workout when I can, and ignore the comments. I mean, I am a woman. I was born stronger than those men. They can’t scare me anymore. I won’t let them.
YOU ARE IS WHAT YOU ARE ,NOBODY CAN CHANGE YOU .
Let’s Talk: Anxiety:
A video discussing my experiences with anxiety, it’s partly a video response to JustBeingBelle’s recent video on the same subject, but also something I’ve wanted to do a video about for a while.
Please ignore the horrifically unflattering thumbnail choice, I can’t do the fancy custom ones yet.
Have a listen and let me know what you think. Lets talk !
I have been insecure about my entire body for as long as I can remember, and I am finally beginning the long road to loving myself. The top left picture is me in November of 2012, my acne was getting worse and nothing was working. That was the day that I began my treatment plan for my acne. The picture beside it was in December of 2012, getting better; still not great. The bottom picture is today (June 25th, 2013) I have made huge strides in loving myself again because my acne was able to clear up.
It was stopping me from living my life. Now, you might think that’s silly, but when you are self conscious about the fact that the first thing you think people see is the acne and scars; it is difficult to see the good things people could see first.
Firstly, I want ANYBODY with any kind of acne to know is that, it is not solely your fault. Sometimes you cannot control it, it can be hormonal, bacteria causing infection (Which is what all acne is, essentially), or just bad genes. Before you jump to going on accutane(Which is incredibly harsh) try antibiotics first, it will be much easier on your system and can do almost the same thing. I would also recommend looking into any possible allergies that you may have; milk is a big contributor to some acne.
Secondly, believe that you are beautiful. Acne does not make you any less attractive in any way, shape and/or form. It took me a very long time to believe in my beauty, despite a loving group of family and friends who tell me everyday that I am beautiful. Surround yourself with people who will raise you up and make you feel like you like the perfect, beautiful, amazing and totally worth it person that you are.
This is not only for women, I know how much men can be affected by acne just in the same way. I promise you, you are handsome and if somebody can’t see that, then they’re not the person for you. You may feel silly talking to your doctor about acne, but they are so understanding and want you to get better. It is nothing to be ashamed of.
If anybody has any questions AT ALL please ask me!
I abslolutely love SHYB! I have come a long way in dealing with my insecurities and fears, am learning to accept and love my body. I am feeling pretty good about myself, and decided to share a picture.
I’ve submitted once on here and had a bit of feedback, and I appreciate every word that was sent.
I am extremely skinny and tall, and this has caused quite a bit of greif through my life, even from my own siblings. Even now, I receive giraffes from my parents and family because of my skinniness and the length of my neck. They find it humorous; I, however, do not.
As you can probably see, I’ve quite a few stretch marks on my hips, and even more on my back. I hated them most of my life, but it wasn’t until recently that I’ve come to love them. They’re marks wish a story, telling me this is who I am.
And the reason why I am naked in the picture above is because my penis is my largest insecurity. In this generation, so many people talk about who has the biggest one. A man’s worth and ‘manliness’, at least amongst other men, is mostly measured by the length of it, and it’s hard having confidence when yours is only average. It’s the hardest thing to accept and I wish I didn’t have to feel so low about my masculinity because my member isn’t as big as someone else’s.
Thank you so much for reading this.
I feel the need to address this complex that is more than apparent when it comes to issues regarding women and: makeup, clothing and weight.
The “MEN PREFER WOMEN …” complex (not the official title).
Some how in a discussion people bring everything back round to a male perspective - “Why is she trying to lose weight? Everyone knows MEN PREFER WOMEN with curves!” Which can be as easily transferred to ‘Why is she wearing that much makeup…” “That little clothing…” And so on. It is a common belief that the only factor that dictates what decisions a woman makes to or with her body are based on a man’s opinion.
I’m more than certain that at some point I’ve implied that, if not thought it. I’m sure everyone has. It’s one of the things you don’t usually think twice about. But, once you realise the error in what you’re implying and the effect it has you are half way to bettering your attitudes to others as well as yourself.
You need to realise that you are not a preference. You are the only person who dictates how you look, what you wear and how much you weigh.
I have always looked through this blog and read all of your inspiring posts. You are all wonderful and brave. Since I found this blog, I really wanted to submit something about myself, that is a big part of my life and interactions. So today I decided to finally do so! My name is Lisa, I am a twenty-one year old art student from NYC and I am pretty damn awesome, so you would think people would see past discolored teeth.
I used to be very, very depressed about my teeth. I took medicine for my asthma as a child that permanently stained and essentially stripped away a lot of enamel on my teeth. My left front tooth is particularly bad, and a conversation starter, because apparently that is totally appropriate. I was always a lanky and dorky looking girl with very crooked stained teeth. No one, and I mean NO ONE was happier to have braces cover them up for over six years. Well, even with metal covering the stains it was still noticeable. Stupid people would ask stupid questions, I never smiled with my teeth. At all. I was ashamed.
On one lovely day, I had an Orthodontist appointment, he told me my braces were coming off. I was a junior in high school and had never seen my teeth straight. I basically freaked out, made up an excuse and left. Totally scared to have my teeth exposed again. I knew I would struggle with dental work as a young adult because of the damage the medicine did. HOW TO FACE THIS?! Well, after much thought and a follow up dentist appointment made, just in case I was ‘repulsive’, I went to the Orthodontist. That day my braces were removed. My teeth were still discolored, but they were kind of straight! I was so happy just to see my teeth again I have never stopped smiling with my teeth since. And I have grown kind of fond of my little stain, and the not so bright whiteness of my smile. I like my teeth as they are, and I don’t care how many people ask me what happened, tell me there is food or lipstick on my teeth. I will just grin at them because…fuck it, I’m beautiful motha-fuckas. Like all of you, ladies and gents’! Keep on being amazing.
I am a 19 year old male. I am also a United States Marine. I feel insecure about my body because of how scrawny/skinny I look. I usually feel judged by those around me but I never actually hear them say anything negative about me. I feel like I need to have the chiseled abs. Large biceps and triceps and defined pecs. Marines too have self image issues as well I know another Marine who feels the same way anout themself. Marines aren’t perfect. My motivation to keep my head up comes from not myself but from the title I have earned.
There is one thing I love about my body though. That tattoo on my chest makes me feel better about myself most of the time.
www.lcplwang1161.tumblr.com follow me if you want.
I work as a cashier and I often get to watch the negative affects magazine headlines have on customers. This one in particular hit a nerve on a personal level. So I Fixed it! All I see now, is a bunch of confident ladies and gentlemen rocking it at the beach. Don’t let the media tell you what your body is or isn’t. The shape of your body doesn’t make it “better” or “worse”. Every body is a good body.