Hi! My name is Shannon and I’m 19 years old.
My life has always been about weight. I’ve honestly never heard the end of it from my family. My mothers side of the family is obese and being her daughter I gained that possibility of becoming bigger and getting diabetes. Kinda put a damper on my whole teenage years so far.
She always has been telling me what to eat and looking at me skeptically at restaurants and looking at what I choose to eat and making comments as if I don’t notice. My dad can do it too its just not as bad.
Throughout high school, (which was a private CATHOLIC school) I was pretty much the odd ball out. I didn’t have a set group of friends, and guys didn’t especially like me cause I was loud and super open and too friendly I guess. Story of my life. Finally it came to a point when I was depressed and didn’t want to go to school or ever get up in the morning. I wanted to die every day. I would pray that I would get cancer or some form of life threatening disease that would make it acceptable for me to die at such a young age. I went to a psychologist for a year, and finally made the decision to transfer to a public school for my senior year, which was probably the best decision I have ever made.
Also my sex life started when I was 16 about two weeks away from 17. I had sex with 3 guys. One in May, one in July, and one in November. My life still hadn’t been completely balanced out the way I wanted to. The reason I went so fast was because I honestly couldn’t believe that some form of a man would want to even have sex with me. I still can’t even grasp that concept yet. Which again my super ultra catholic conservative parents don’t understand or approve of. Le sigh.
I’ve tried dieting and such and let me tell you, it really is super hard. I am still doing my best to eat better and incorporate more healthy foods and cutting out the shit food. As for exercise, I’m not a running person. Just gonna leave it as that. I love sport like volleyball and soccer but I’m gonna work back up to that and start by walking around my neighborhood and such.
My mom said she weighed more than she did now before she was with my dad. I’m proud of her doing that but it’s not just as easy for me. After being beaten down by all the comments it just makes me want to retaliate and not stay healthy, which is clearly not the right choice.
She tells me that I should love myself. And she’s right. I’m truly working on getting there. I’m working on loving my pointy nose, my arm fat, my chubby tummy, the lines that my stomach get from sitting down, my boobs, and my butt. I’m trying my hardest to be positive, and even though I have skinny friends, I know I can be beautiful even at my current size.
Oh and still amazed that guys would even wanna get jiggy with me.
The smaller picture is just a part of who I am, the bigger picture is what I strive for every day.
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!