TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm/cutting, abuse, suicidal thoughts/attempts
I’m Savannah, 20 yrs. old, and this is my story;
As a young child, ages 7 through 10, my father abused me. Verbally, emotionally, physically. His choice of words still haunt me. "You’ll never be good enough, this is all your fault," etc. Which is half the reason I have the bad habit of apologizing for EVERYTHING. Even things I have absolutely no control over. He’d make me go to school wearing jackets, or longer sleeved shirts, just to cover the massive swollen bruises on my arms. Thankfully, since he & my mother divorced when I was 10, he hasn’t hurt me since.
Middle school - when I started really getting insecure. I mean, I was always the ‘awkward girl’, who was extremely shy, with big glasses since I was 8. I constantly was bullied and told I was ‘ugly’ for being ‘different’ or for being ‘nerdy’. I began self mutilating & cutting myself constantly. Every day of my junior-high life, I cut myself. I felt so many different ways about it - that it would help my mental pain/depression, that I “deserved it”. I tried to kill myself numerous times, more times than I can count, but never succeeded. There was always something in the way.
The last time I hurt myself was 2009, and I never will again. That part of my life is over, and I’m proud to say I overcame it.
I still have insecurities about myself, what with extremely short hair and my body not looking the way I want it, but I’m on (what I like to call) a reverse-diet. I’m drinking protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, and I have an absolutely amazing guy by my side during it all, who tells me I’m beautiful no matter how much I weigh or what I do to my hair. He loves me for who I am inside, different, nerdy, pierced, tattooed, and all.
This is the happiest I’ve EVER BEEN and I plan on keeping it that way. I see so many amazing uplifting stories on here every day. Some even make me cry. All of you, every last one of you, is BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL in your own skin! Embrace it, love it, kiss it, hug it, whatever! I know it’s taken me quite some time to get this far, and I’m nowhere near done yet, but we can ALL get there. It’s not impossible! All those little things you used to ‘hate’ about yourself? Look at them and tell them you love them!! If any of you ever need someone to talk to, just send me a message. I’m all ears. :) <3
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!