My whole life growing up, my family and other people have told me I was fat. And in their mind fat equals disgusting. I remember my father telling me I would never find a girlfriend because I was fat. (Turns out he was right, I’m gay.) The rest of my family was all really skinny for the most part, and I was constantly harassed for not being skinny like them.
My parents shamed me in to new diet fads that never really worked. My dad constantly shamed me regarding everything I did, and so did my siblings.
It further reinforced my negative mindset when other kids would “tease” me about it. “Tease” just meant having a license to strip away someones dignity under the guise of “just having fun, don’t take it so seriously”.
In other words, I have a hecka lot of baggage to work through.
I had been improving my self image over the past year, when a friend made a comment jokingly about me being fat.
It stopped me in my tracks and triggered me until I felt like that scared ashamed 10 year old all over again. After a lot of tears and time I managed to shrug it off. After that incident my friends tried to affirm me and tell me I was beautiful. It didn’t really work, but it did ease the sting.
To me, friends that affirm you as beautiful have the biggest positive impact on your self image.
I still can’t see myself as beautiful in the mirror, but every day my friends, Dana, Kate, Luke, (and many more) keep on chipping away at my bad self image.
I couldn’t love them more.
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!