TRIGGER WARNING: Eating Disorder, Bullying
Hi, I’m Emily.
I’ve been following this blog for a long time, but I have never been able to say I that I love my body before today. So here’s my story:
Before I started middle school, I was super self confident. I was positive that all the boys liked me, and that everyone wanted to be my friend. That all changed when in 6th grade, a boy called me fat. I had never once looked in the mirror and thought I was fat before, but after that day, my self hate began.
I was surrounded by girls who were naturally sticks. Whenever there was a swim party, it was unacceptable to show up in anything but a bikini, or you would be made fun of. But if you didn’t have the “right body” for the bikini, that you were pressured into wearing, you were also made fun of. It was a lose/lose situation.
From 7th to halfway through 9th grade, I dieted insanely, restricting my calories to a very unhealthy budget. I didn’t keep track of my weight loss throughout the majority of those years, but I know that I lost 20 lbs in the summer before 9th grade. I was extraordinarily frail, I stopped having my period, and was getting sick constantly because my immune system was so weak.
Everyone was telling me I needed to gain weight, but I feared it. I weighed myself every day, and if I ever gained weight, I would hate myself even more.
One day, I finally realized what I was doing to myself. Trying to stop counting calories was one of the hardest things I tried to do, but I can say that I have. A year later, I have gained back about 25 pounds.
People think it’s weird when I speak positively about gaining weight, but I see it as one of my bigger accomplishments so far in life. When I look in the mirror now, I feel more beautiful than ever.
It goes to show you that even if you think something might be the smallest, most meaningless comment ever, it could affect a person very strongly, in a negative or positive way.
No matter what anybody says, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Don’t ever let anybody tell you that you aren’t. <3
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!