Posts tagged confidence
Posts tagged confidence
I’m sorry i hated you so much.
I never really had a reason to, since you’re here and you work pretty well.
Though we might’ve had some differences and got angry at eachother
you’re perfectly fine the way you are.
So thank you
I will treat your right.
I’m 20 days into NFN and this is the first I’m blogging about it. Partly because I didn’t think I’d make it this long, but mostly because I wanted to see if I could hold myself accountable for something this far outside my comfort zone without that voice in my head saying, “But Tumblr’s watching, you have to do it!”
Basically, NFN is this thing of where I’m not dolling myself up one single day this month. I’m learning to like the way my natural face and nails look. I’m learning to feel comfortable being in public in “sloppy” attire. I’m learning to like the natural wave in my hair. I am learning to forgo what looks good in lieu of living in a way that feels good.
“I don’t give a damn what men find attractive. It’s unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.” — Fabienne, Pulp Fiction
When I was younger I was told I needed to lose weight. I was told that if I lost weight I’d be beautiful, a beauty queen is what many said. Miss America even. I was told if I lost weight I’d find a gorgeous amazing boyfriend, I’d be happy, have a wonderful life. I was told I’d get so much more attention from men, from people in general. I was told I’d die by the age of 30 if I didn’t lose weight, I was told I could die any time soon. All because I’m FAT. I was lied to. “but what if I lose weight and I’m not happy with it?” I’d ask, “You will be” they’d say. Here I am proving them wrong, proving so many wrong. I’m not dead, I’m not dying, I’m very much alive. I’m happy no matter how fat my ass is, I love myself, my life, my friends, my family and my fat girl loving boyfriend. It’s not love, beauty nor life that discriminates.. it’s us. We discriminate against ourselves, against each other and against reality. We’re all human beings, some prettier, some more successful but a heart is a heart, a body is a body and a person is a person. In a way I love you all but most of all I LOVE MYSELF.
So here I am..
Proving you wrong.
New Blog Post! Check out the rest of the pictures here :)
Confidence comes from the mind and heart, not from a jean size.
I know that I’m not the only on who gets hate on tumblr. Cruel, mean, unfounded horrible things that are meant to cut right through to your deepest insecurities.
It’s important to remember not to believe the negative things people say about you. It’s important to remember that people who say hurtful things are the ones who have the problem. Not you.
Don’t ever feel like you have to change. You’re beautiful exactly as you are.
Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.
Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There’s no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on. And that doesn’t mean you have to get rid of whatever makes you feel bad (many times, you simply can’t). You need to learn to accept yourself, your past, your circumstances as they are, without necessarily thinking of them as “bad”.
Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you’ve declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it’s through art,music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it’s difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you’re following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you’ll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it’s emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
Be Positive, even if you don’t feel the same way. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior—they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what’s called the “facial feedback theory” suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you’re a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!
Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don’t have something you can believe in, you don’t have anything. If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what’s happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you’ve followed your principles to the best of your ability.
Help others. When you know you’re kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people’s lives (even if it’s just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you’ll know that you are a positive force in the world—which will boost your self confidence.
- Exercise and eat healthily. Exercise raises endorphins and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.
- When you are feeling terribly insecure, write down your positive traits and read them back. This feedback would give you surprising results.
- Do not be afraid to push yourself beyond your physical or mental limits. Such a pressure would help you see how easily things can be achieved and thereby helps you hone skills. Step out of your comfort zone.
- Condition yourself to talk positively about yourself. Every time your mind wanders and say you are not apt at it, pause for a minute, undo those negative vibes and say you can do it. At least you should make an attempt to accomplish that daunting task. With that, you will learn more about yourself.
- Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.
- You can provide yourself with an extra dose of confidence by using the Best Me Technique of self-hypnosis to pre-experience the rewards of a long-term goal, thereby reducing the stress.
- Do not get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points. They could turn out to be a healthy contrast to your good points or even give you something to improve. There is no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
- Do not mistake being loud for confidence. Some loud people cover their insecurities. If you are happy with yourself, you are confident.