This is a place of encouragement, a place to discuss body image, insecurities, self-esteem, and everything under the umbrella of fighting self-hate and finding self-love.

No matter what you look like, what color, what gender, sexual orientation, what size or however many "flaws", healthy, not healthy, working on it, abled, disabled, we are all human, we all deserve to be happy, we all deserve to love ourselves. With this blog you will see all kinds of REAL bodies, REAL people, REAL stories.

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ellosteph:

THE TRUTH ABOUT MY WEIGHT 

It really did take a lot for me to post this, since this is a touchy, as well as a personal topic for me. Thank you all for your love and support <3

damnitkiki:

thin—mint:

anna-learns-to-love-herself:

ninnysunite:

beiibis:

Why is it cute when a skinny girl eats a lot but it’s disgusting when a fat girl do exactly same thing.

YessssssI’m half afraid to even eat like a small amount in public because people stare like, “I have found the hippo in its natural habitat.”

stop judging, stop body shaming, stop telling people what they should eat and how they should look like!

I’ve noticed this so, so much. When I was 200+, people used to criticize me for my love of sweets (and food in general). If I polished off a plate, somebody would almost always have *something* negative to say about it. Now that I’m ~135, my co-workers think it’s cute and funny that I like to snack on cookies at work, and my dates think it’s “refreshing” that I finish my meal. Funny world we live in. 


The bold!

damnitkiki:

thin—mint:

anna-learns-to-love-herself:

ninnysunite:

beiibis:

Why is it cute when a skinny girl eats a lot but it’s disgusting when a fat girl do exactly same thing.

Yessssss
I’m half afraid to even eat like a small amount in public because people stare like, “I have found the hippo in its natural habitat.”

stop judging, stop body shaming, stop telling people what they should eat and how they should look like!

I’ve noticed this so, so much. When I was 200+, people used to criticize me for my love of sweets (and food in general). If I polished off a plate, somebody would almost always have *something* negative to say about it. Now that I’m ~135, my co-workers think it’s cute and funny that I like to snack on cookies at work, and my dates think it’s “refreshing” that I finish my meal. Funny world we live in. 

The bold!

1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…” Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds?” You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.
2. Judging Other People’s Clothes While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style.The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she&#8217;s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don&#8217;t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.
3. Making It an &#8216;Us vs. Them&#8217; Thing The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.
4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it&#8217;s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.
5. Making Up Body Parts We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.
6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight You don’t know a person&#8217;s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she&#8217;ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn&#8217;t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment.
7. Using Pretend Compliments “You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive &#8212; a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone&#8217;s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting, so also out the door are, “Does this make me look fat?” and “I look so fat!” when you are a size 2.
8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.

9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?

10. Playing Dietitian If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn&#8217;t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don&#8217;t do it). How do you know she&#8217;s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?
(taken from http://www.ivillage.com/guilty-15-ways-we-body-shame-without-knowing)


1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…” 

Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds?” You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.

2. Judging Other People’s Clothes 
While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style.The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she’s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don’t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.

3. Making It an ‘Us vs. Them’ Thing 
The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.

4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”
Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it’s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.

5. Making Up Body Parts 
We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.

6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight 
You don’t know a person’s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she’ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn’t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment.

7. Using Pretend Compliments 
“You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive — a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone’s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting, so also out the door are, “Does this make me look fat?” and “I look so fat!” when you are a size 2.

8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines 
One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.

9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines 
A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?

10. Playing Dietitian 
If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn’t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don’t do it). How do you know she’s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?

(taken from http://www.ivillage.com/guilty-15-ways-we-body-shame-without-knowing)

i&#8217;m glad you asked this question. I could only watch about 10 minutes of it before I was so disgusted I had to turn it off.
It was just a play on the same old sad stereotypes of &#8216;fat is unhealthy&#8217;, &#8216;fat is lazy&#8217; &#8216;fat is disgusting&#8217; etc. etc. etc. And it&#8217;s disappointing because South Park usually has really good commentary on popular culture.
You know what, I APPLAUD Honey Boo Boo and her family. They&#8217;re not your typical &#8216;attractive&#8217; family, but they obviously love each other and they&#8217;re happy. That counts for a lot more than their education level or their weight.
The obesity epidemic is a lie. Obesity rates have stayed the same, and in some places even dropped, since 2000.
'Obesity' is judged by BMI, which is an invalid measure of health. Even the creator of BMI himself never wanted it to be used as a measure of health.
In 1998, the guidelines for BMI were changed. Millions of people went to bed one night being &#8216;normal&#8217;, and woke up &#8216;overweight&#8217; according to the new standards. So all the reports you hear of, about how people are getting fatter and fatter, is actually the definition of what &#8216;fat&#8217; is changing.
Fat people have no shame? Fat people have no shame? Has anyone who created that episode EVER spoken to a fat person? ANY fat person, any chubby person, hell, the majority of &#8216;average&#8217; people have been &#8216;shamed&#8217; for being too fat. They&#8217;ve been told over and over that they&#8217;re lazy, ugly, no one will ever love them, they&#8217;ll never get a good job, they don&#8217;t deserve nice clothes, I could go on forever.
Fat people don&#8217;t ask for special treatment, as this episode depicts. Fat people ask for equal treatment. To have the ability to do the same things normal people do. Like being comfortable in a movie theatre, or to be able to go on an airplane without paying double.  Or even more importantly, having GOOD and complete healthcare that doesn&#8217;t consist of &#8216;just lose weight and all your health problems will go away.&#8217; That&#8217;s not having no shame.
There is a problem in this country, I&#8217;m not denying that. People aren&#8217;t eating well enough. People aren&#8217;t exercising enough. But you know what, that goes for thin people too. There are millions of thin people who eat junk, are sedentary, and end up with the same diabetes, hypertension, heart problems, etc. that the medical community likes to pretend only fat people can get. (Fun fact, 75% of obese people never get diabetes.)
The problem is not fat. The problem is lack of access to healthy food and exercise. THAT&#8217;S what needs to be fixed. And not by programs like Let&#8217;s Move!, which was funded by a 13.6% cut to the SNAP (food stamp) program, which means that low-income families, which are already proven to be more likely to be obese, are even less able to afford healthful food.
It&#8217;s a much, much bigger problem than the size of someone&#8217;s jeans. Regardless of someone&#8217;s size or health, NO ONE should be shamed like that. Not your body? Not your business. I&#8217;m really, really disappointed that South Park couldn&#8217;t do better. 
Love,
Amber

i’m glad you asked this question. I could only watch about 10 minutes of it before I was so disgusted I had to turn it off.

It was just a play on the same old sad stereotypes of ‘fat is unhealthy’, ‘fat is lazy’ ‘fat is disgusting’ etc. etc. etc. And it’s disappointing because South Park usually has really good commentary on popular culture.

You know what, I APPLAUD Honey Boo Boo and her family. They’re not your typical ‘attractive’ family, but they obviously love each other and they’re happy. That counts for a lot more than their education level or their weight.

Fat people have no shame? Fat people have no shame? Has anyone who created that episode EVER spoken to a fat person? ANY fat person, any chubby person, hell, the majority of ‘average’ people have been ‘shamed’ for being too fat. They’ve been told over and over that they’re lazy, ugly, no one will ever love them, they’ll never get a good job, they don’t deserve nice clothes, I could go on forever.

Fat people don’t ask for special treatment, as this episode depicts. Fat people ask for equal treatment. To have the ability to do the same things normal people do. Like being comfortable in a movie theatre, or to be able to go on an airplane without paying double.  Or even more importantly, having GOOD and complete healthcare that doesn’t consist of ‘just lose weight and all your health problems will go away.’ That’s not having no shame.

There is a problem in this country, I’m not denying that. People aren’t eating well enough. People aren’t exercising enough. But you know what, that goes for thin people too. There are millions of thin people who eat junk, are sedentary, and end up with the same diabetes, hypertension, heart problems, etc. that the medical community likes to pretend only fat people can get. (Fun fact, 75% of obese people never get diabetes.)

The problem is not fat. The problem is lack of access to healthy food and exercise. THAT’S what needs to be fixed. And not by programs like Let’s Move!, which was funded by a 13.6% cut to the SNAP (food stamp) program, which means that low-income families, which are already proven to be more likely to be obese, are even less able to afford healthful food.

It’s a much, much bigger problem than the size of someone’s jeans. Regardless of someone’s size or health, NO ONE should be shamed like that. Not your body? Not your business. I’m really, really disappointed that South Park couldn’t do better. 

Love,

Amber

health-and-the-fat-girl:

Made in response to this little gem: 


Not to mention that health has to do with a LOT more than what you put in your body. But this graphic is excellent!

health-and-the-fat-girl:

Made in response to this little gem: 

Not to mention that health has to do with a LOT more than what you put in your body. But this graphic is excellent!

redefiningbodyimage:

As I’ve been receiving and answering questions, I’ve noticed one question being asked more and more above all others.

In short: “HOW do I deal with fat shaming?”

Part one of this video series covers my number one way to deal - Going on a “Media Diet”

I’ll be continuing this series at a random pace that will be dictated by my life, schedule, habits, and ever-changing states of mind. Nevertheless, the planned topic for subsequent vlogs will focus on how to deal with fat shaming in public and online spaces.

To *EVERY* person following (and not), of *EVERY* size, shape, gender orientation, etc

juicyjacqulyn:

Your body is fucking PERFECT. You are so incredibly beautiful. Some of you know this, some of you are learning, and some of you still aren’t ready to believe. 

I SWEAR TO YOU, you are amazing, and you body is just as glorious. 

Those that seek to shame you, are often misguided, ill informed, ignorant, and insecure.

YOUR opinion of you is the ONLY opinion that matters.

You are wonderful just the way you are. 

*Massive hugs all around*

moonblossom:

bittergrapes:

annieelainey:

I love it when I check on an old post and people are reblogging it with health troll comments.

I don’t understand how it’s so hard for so many people to grasp:

HEALTH LOOKS DIFFERENT ON EVERY BODY. YOU CAN BE FAT AND HEALTHY, YOU CAN BE SKINNY AND HEALTHY, ETC.

Even if someone is sick, living an unhealthy lifestyle, etc, what makes you think that you should publicly scorn them about it? What makes you think they shouldn’t be living in the present moment and feeling happy? Why would you want to take that away? What about their body and their confidence and/or joy make you so uncomfortable? 

“I am going to assume that you are unhealthy because of your body shape. LOL, HAVE FUN DYING OF A HEART ATTACK!”

What the hell is that?

END BODY SHAMING. END BODY POLICING.

My father has been a ‘healthy’ weight most of his life. 

He had a heart attack at 43 years old.

My mother has been an ‘unhealthy’ weight most of her life.

She has never had any major health issues, has sprung back from several broken bones with no serious complications, and continues a strenuous and demanding career.

Fuck body shaming.

A few years back, a good friend of mine was in the 400lb range, and I weighed about 145lb, at 5’11ish. She now weighs less than I do, but that’s not relevant to my point. 

At the point when our weights were thus, guess which of us had the following:

  • Tachycardia
  • Hypertension
  • High cholesterol
  • Arthritis & chronic back and leg pain
  • Random attacks of syncope (fainting)
  • Yearly cases of pneumonia
  • (amongst other things I am currently too lazy to list)

If you guessed me, you win a cookie!

Weight is absolutely not an obvious determining factor of health.