Posts tagged body image
Posts tagged body image
I’ve struggled with severe mental health issues my whole life. When I was fourteen years old I “slipped” into a clinical depression that lasted for two years. I would talk more about that time in my life, but to be honest, I don’t remember much of it. My doctor said something about my brain being in a different state and that if I was ever clinically depressed again (unlikely) I would remember things from my first depression and not remember things from before/after it.
I lost so much weight while depressed. I couldn’t eat, I would get so incredibly nauseous. On a good day I would be able to choke down crackers and peanut butter. My weight went down to 110 lbs. I am 5’6.5” and for me that was a really unhealthy weight.
I eventually got onto a medicine that was supposed to help me gain weight (because no nausea meant eating, which meant more energy and less depression, etc.) and I quickly got a bottomless pit for a stomach. I wasn’t only not-nauseous, I was HUNGRY. I ate and ate and ate, I didn’t know how to stop myself. My weight ballooned out of control. In a matter of a few months I had gained 50 lbs. I was unhappy with the way I looked, my body had felt foreign when I was underweight and all of a sudden my body felt foreign because I weighed more than I ever had in my life. I had a love/hate relationship with clothing. Things that I loved from a few months ago made me feel bloated and unhappy. I wore t-shirts and jeans and had to shop for new bras (which I hated).
I eventually started feeling better emotionally. My depression finally lifted and I was having hope for the first time in a long time. I started walking everyday, just for a little bit at first, then for longer amounts of time. I started making sure the things I ate I ate in moderation. Eventually I was at a weight that made me feel secure in myself.
To this day I have to calm myself down at times because I freak out about gaining a lot of weight really quickly over silly little things. It is just some of the baggage that I carry around with me that I have had to learn to accept. I am more than my weight. My weight is not a sure thing, but that is okay. No matter what I weigh now I am happy that I am able to enjoy life. That in itself means more than numbers on a scale could ever mean to me.
-Lena, 20, thefemmegasm.tumblr.com
I have hated a lot of things about myself. I still do sort of…
but screw it. I’m hairy, I have tons of crevices, scars, bumps, and humps. I have scrawny areas and fat areas.
I’m like one of those tea pots that the more damaged they are, the more beautiful they become. Because being yourself gives you character and uniqueness. Don’t conform unless you really want to. Try to love yourself. Lets go through this journey of selflove together each day of our lives.
Hi guys! My name is Makena and I am 18 years old!
I have been posting on SHYB since I started recovery for my bulimia with anorexic tendencies almost two years ago. I know the top picture looks like a before-and-after of my weight, but it’s not! The picture on the left is one of the first pictures I submitted of myself to SHYB, back in 2011. I was still in the midst of my eating disorder and very much struggling with my self-image. As you can see, I was too embarrassed to wear a bikini. Whenever I see that photo on the left, I see a very unhappy girl with zero confidence. I hated my legs and I thought I had a very chubby stomach. Now in the photo on the right, after nearly two years of recovery with much love and support, I see someone totally different! I see a girl that—can you believe it—was excited to wear a bikini to the beach, and not just wear it, but take pictures! I am just truly proud of all the positive changes and progress I have made in my life: I work out at least 4x a week and keep track of my nutrition (not calories). I actually am starting to love my body and I am learning more every day how to treat it with the respect it deserves.
Also, I just wanted to say, in August I will be one year purge-free!!:))
Anyways, thanks for reading this! If anyone ever wants to talk sometime, message me here!
TRIGGER WARNING/TW: Mental/Psychological Disorders/Suicidal Thoughts/Abuse.
I was really inspired to post a picture here. This blog is incredible.
I’ve always been the bigger girl all my life. I grew up with a mom who couldn’t afford food that was nutritious, healthy, the like. I grew up eating whatever was around. Traditionally, junk. So, it’s rather embodied in my brain that eating is a way of comfort, to never eat the right things, drink the right things, make choices, live with them. It’s hard to break out of, this we all know. I didn’t have the best childhood, no father in the picture, I suppose he was disgusted and just high tailed and left, and my mother put me through 8 years of mental torment, constantly calling me fat in front of her friends, laughing at me, calling me a whore and a bitch.
Now I am 20 years old. No longer with my mother, my grandparents took the best of care of me, well. As much as they could.
At the age of 16 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Type 1. I suffer deep, deep depressions, I have been in one for 12 years. Small periods of high intense mania. Strong impulses, to shop, steal, use, lie, cheat, and eat.
But. I am high above those impulses. I am not letting my disorder define who I am. I am not letting my weight define who I am. I am a smart girl, who is artistic, lovely, incredible, and above all. Brave. To not succumb to suicide. To not go back to the Psychiatric Hospital. To not look at her arms and wrists and feel the urge, the stinging pain and succumb to it. No, I am not that person anymore.
I love this life I live. I love to wake up and look outside my window and see the light blue through my curtains and just know that another night has went and gone where I am still alive and breathing.
Today is going to be a good day.
In my life so far, I have felt the pressure from society to be thinner. I tried to deny my curves, and constantly felt bad about my body. In the last year or so, I have started to pay attention to all the wonderful things my body is capable of. I have a chronic illness (fibromyalgia) and I needed to stop looking at my body as a size/number and see it as a magnificient piece of machinery. It is absolutely crazy that we can do all we can do with our bodies, and through that fact I have come to love myself. I am a one of a kind piece of art, and I will not let society dictate how I should feel about all the magical things my body is capable of. Society keeps girls depressed and upset about their bodies so they will not fulfill their full potential.
To everyone out there, your body is an amazing thing. Focus on the things it is good at (mentally, emotionally, physically) and stop focusing on what it looks like to an outsider.
I mean, you only get one life and one body that is yours. Don’t let someone else’s ignorance dictate your life.
I’m being brave again and submitting this because I looked at it and thought I like how my body looks. This is huge. I NEVER think that. I have gained a lot of weight and at my highest weight ever, and I am constantly at war with my body. I have suffered from eating disorders for three years, and have had terrible, horrible, non-existant self esteem for even longer. Maybe it’s just the lighting and the way I’m standing, but I actually like how I look here. Taking pictures of my body helps me to see it the way it really is and not the distorted way I see it daily in the mirror. I think the human body is a beautiful thing and is not something to be ashamed of in any way shape or form. And I’m not ashamed of my body for this one moment. I am scarred and I have thick thighs that touch and a lower belly pooch and small boobs, and thats okay. I’m still beautiful how I am. My body is mine and I need to accept it. And if I can accept it in this photo and share that acceptance with all of you, that is a step in the right direction.
I never thought I would see myself in a bikini ever again, but that’s essentially what I’m wearing- a bikini. And it’s clothing that I feel proud and comfortable to wear, even after all this time.
I submitted a photo a year back when I was trying to deal with weight gain that came with recovery from anorexia. I was still incredibly insecure, but I felt that sharing my body and trying to become more comfortable with it might help me overcome my insecurities. One year and lots of hard work later, I finally feel like I’m at a place where I can be happy with myself, inside and out.
It’s still a lot of work and I have days where I feel like I’m relapsing, only to challenge my disordered thoughts and manage to find myself stronger in the end. I know that I’m almost there, and not being able to exercise due to an injury won’t stop me from recovering. The last step in my recovery is learning to be okay with myself without feeling the need to exercise, and I’m surviving it one day at a time. It’s been almost two months since my last workout, but I’m still on the road to recovery— it may be slower than before, but I’m still going.
I think my final message to everybody is that you’re beautiful, even if you don’t think that you are. Loving yourself doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s going to be a lot of hard work, but it’s worth it. You’re worth it. You are beautiful and loved, and all those people who love you will continue to love you +/- 20lbs, I promise you that.
The first step is learning to love yourself, and freeing yourself from the restraints, whether it be internal or external. You only live once, so let your life revolve around happy moments and exciting things rather than your body because it doesn’t- and never will- define your worth.
Feel free to message me at livelaughrecover.
This is my first submission.
I’ve been following this blog for a couple months now. It’s very inspiring to see people show the world themselves, even when it’s very hard for them, but that’s what makes them so brave and strong and that’s what I aspire to be every day.
This photo isn’t something I struggle with, but -in fact- something I enjoy. This photo is of something I learned to love about myself over the years. I won’t give you my whole story just yet, but when I was younger I was extremely self-conscious about everything. However, one day I decided to choose something and just begin to love it. Once I loved that part of myself I would move on to the next thing that bothered me. It’s really hard, but I’m glad I started when I did or I wouldn’t be where I am today. My white stretch marks are from when I shot up and stayed put. They don’t bother me at all anymore. In fact, I think they look really cool. They’re like lightning bolts -electrifying, beautiful and fantastic.
So many beautiful people post on this blog every day and I would just like to thank them for being so courageous.
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!
Trigger Warning: Self Harm and Eating Disorders
My name’s Dana, and I am fifteen years old.
For a long time I’ve been insecure about my looks. Even as a young kid I would stand in front of the mirror and analyze every bit of my body. I just didn’t think I was beautiful. My eyes were too far apart, my nose too big, etc etc.
Then came high school. Along with the other pressures of high school life, like grades and friends, puberty brought along it’s own struggles. The former self esteem issues became magnified to the extreme. The self hatred started. I attempted suicide three times.
What you can’t see in this picture are the scars. The marks up and down my wrist, and zig-zagging over my hips. You also can’t see the tears over the number on the scale as I struggled with my weight. I’m 5’8”, and I was nearly down to 100 pounds. I’ve been fighting my self harm for two years now, and my anorexia for about the same time. It’s hard for me to eat what I want to eat, to try to recover, to think that maybe
I am worth recovering.
It’s hard. Anyone who’s ever had an eating disorder, or has gone through depression and self harm will tell you that it’s hard trying to change your thought process, trying to tell yourself that you’re worth it, you’re better than this, you’re beautiful. But I’m trying. I’m trying my hardest to recover, and I’m trying to live my life as well as I can.
Today is 4/26/13, I am 5’8”, and I currently weigh 133 pounds.
And I am happy with myself the way I am.
I finally got myself to submit a picture and I’m happy I did. It shows I’m totally fine with the way I look, even after all the things I went through.
Got bullied on for 4 years in primary school because of my weight and when it stopped at school, it started to last for another 4 years when I joined girl scouts. When I couldn’t handle it anymore and quit being a girl scout, which made an end to my dream of becoming a girl scout leader. Not being bullied anymore was a relief, but the chance of being bullied on again would always be there.
When I went to high school, nothing happened. That’s when I started to accept the way I looked like. But outside of school, I always felt like everyone was judging me even if they weren’t. I never really felt in place with all these good looking people around me, who all had boyfriends and were able to wear whatever they liked without being judged. I realized I still didn’t feel good about myself.
And then, age 22, I met a guy who made me feel the most beautiful girl in the world. It took me a while to get comfortable being naked in front of him, but once I did, I wished I would’ve done it sooner. He literally changed my world by telling me I’m beautiful and I started to love the way I look.
That’s why I chose this outfit to surprise him on our 6 months anniversary. I know he’s going to like it as much as I do.
I’ve never been particularly ‘at ease’ with my body, ever since I was a child. I found it harder as I grew up because my mother would constantly hug me and tell me I was anorexic or too skinny, even though when I stared in the mirror all I could see was too much fat. It left me feeling distorted and angry, and It resulted in me self harming, and starving myself, and putting my body through too much. Eventually, I had friends who couldn’t stand it any more, and made me face up to what I was doing to myself, and gradually with their help, i’ve started to appreciate what I see in the mirror, and i’ve stopped distorting the image. I eat healthily with my friends, who give me guidance and advice on how to do it healthily and not dangerously. I still have bad days, where I can’t stand to see myself, but I don’t look at photos of me and grimace. I want this to stay, as long as possible, because I would prefer to feel happy and healthy than to feel weak and scared, like I used to.
This is my body, and it is beautiful. I will put whatever accessories or clothing on my body because I’m worth it, and because I can rock it. I’m done feeling like my body is a cage, I’m done taking ridicule from society, and I’m done thinking that I’m too “fat” for cute clothes and showing off my skin. So now I will, because it’s my beautiful skin. They are my beautiful thighs, they are my beautiful stretch marks. I have spent countless hours crying over them and thinking that they’re “ugly,” but I matured beyond that when I found the problem wasn’t me, it was the image I had in my head of “beautiful.” I know some of my decisions are unhealthy, I know that sometimes I put toxic things in my body, but those are my choices, I know what i’m doing with my body, and I can deal with the consequences. I believe that I am a beautiful, worthy human being and so are all of you lovelies. I spent way too long thinking that I wasn’t good enough because of my weight, because people didn’t think I was beautiful because I’m not society’s image of flawless beauty. But you know what? Now I wouldn’t even want to be that, sure they may look good in magazines, but those people aren’t real. I’m real, and I’m a brilliant, kind person (not to toot my own horn) and I deserve love and respect. If you don’t like me because I’m not supermodel thin or magazine flawless, then tough titty because I am amazing and you will never have the opportunity to see that. Sometimes I still feel insecure, and sometimes words do hurt. But I realize now that that’s what got me down in the first place, and I’ll be damned if I’m ever gonna let that happen again. Love your body. Love yourself. I know I will.
Trigger warning: verbal abuse,selfharm, sucidal thoughts,eating disorder.
Hi, I’m Erin and I’m 19. 5 foot 3 inches and the number on the scale says i’m 145. It took me years to be comfortable in a bikini. My best friend helped me with that when I was about 16-17. My mom and I went out searching for this one because i needed a top to accomodate my 34 D’s.
Now look, there are plenty of things I cannont stand about myself, inside and out. There has been more than a life time of verbal abuse from when I was about 6 till last year when I graduated(2012). My view on beauty has been flip flopped and turned upside down. up until a few years ago i thought you had to be a certain small size and have certain big boobs and so on. now i see more that even those who are society’s “perfection” feel the same way i do about themselves. no is perfect, just human.
my unfortuante verbal abuse from family,”friends” and peers still affects me to this day.i have suffered with self harm of various forms, planning out my suicide as well as attempting to starve my self or throw up constantly. my family and i get along better now and i have found true friends and a man who love me for me and support/encourage me. still i do struggle more days out of the week in my head with how i feel on myself as a whole. i am trying to live. trying to move on from the hidden scars whithin me.
this. this picture. it’s more than just an average girl in a bathing suit. this is for all you ignorant bullies who convinced me that i was ugly.this is for everyone who ignores me and walks by like im nothing special. this is for everyone who called me names, started rumors, and sexually harassed me verbally. This is me telling you to shove it becuase I AM STILL HERE. YOU WILL NOT WIN. this is MY life. I know I am NOT ugly, repulsive, or annoying. I AM BEAUTIFUL. And one day I WILL see it and beilieve it.
Trigger warning: Self harm, Neglect, Abuse
My story is pretty long but I will try and condense it. I live in California and I am 24. I have had body dysmorphic disorder since I was 8, possibly brought on by abuse and neglect. It has been a long and painful 16 years, and I have only just began treatment and was only diagnosed at 21. For 14 years I didn’t wear shorts and short sleeves even in the summer. I would love to say things have got better, but honestly as the years have past my obsessions with my body have become out of control. I have self abused myself everyday for 16 years. The focus always shifts, from stretch marks, to self harms scars, to hair, to spider veins, to size/shape/ to my face. My focus at the moment is my spider veins. I am ashamed to even talk about it to be honest. I don’t just have them on my legs, but a few on my arms and my nose. I feel so defective and I hate this but I often wonder why God made me so ugly. I compare myself everyday to almost anyone. I am so exhausted with this self hate. My husband tells me I am beautiful everyday and it hurts him so much that I feel like this about myself. But I am going to work really hard in recovery, right now I still feel like is a physical problem and not psychological. I know that needs to change. Rationally I know that our bodies are just a shell to carry us around but then there is a voice screaming in my head telling me I am disgusting. I cannot say I accept myself yet, but I hope one day I will. The world has gone mad and is very broken, I hate the bs that brainwashes us daily. I want to spread my wings and fly.Thank you for making this blog.
A good friend is someone who stays by your side, even in hard times.
A good friend is someone who respect you, even if he has an other oppinion as you.
A good friend is also someone who protects you.
And if you have really luck, a friend shares your love for the same things as you.
My tummy is this kind of friend to me.
He is always there and we share our love to good food.
We haven´t always the same opinion and there still are days, when my brain tells me that I have to eat a lot more than I really want or to eat nothing for a very long time and sometimes I can´t resist to do what my brain tells me (even if I know, that this part of my brain is totally wrong!) but the most of the time my tummy and I work together, we are still getting better and better - and we are happy about this.
I still want to lose some weight, but I learn to love me how I look right now.
And if I want to eat some cake, cookies or something like that, I just do it.
My tummy and I are totally okay with that.
We love each other, like real friends. :)
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!