This is me, Suzie. I didn’t always want it to be so, but it’s true, and I like me now.
See, I never really liked having a body. While there are lots of people who prefer mental over physical pursuits, I took it a bit further. In the past, I wished I didn’t have a body; I simply wasn’t comfortable in it. I viewed it as a prison. I didn’t like eating, I didn’t like sleeping, I didn’t like exercise, I didn’t even like the physical sensation of touch. I also didn’t like the idea of people judging me based on appearance and did everything I could to be nondescript and comfortable at the same time.
But something shifted when I took up the violin. I started playing back in Junior High because I needed a Fine Arts credit. It didn’t really change anything initially, but I kept it up year after year, and as years went on, I grew to love it. Not just the music, but the very act of playing. I learned to love experiences, and went out and did things. I hiked to see things, and found I enjoyed the hike as well as the destination. I’ve learned to love my body for all the things it can do, not just for my brain.
My current challenge has been hair. I’ve always kept my hair very short because it would get in the way. But I’ve been growing it out to help me accept that I am a beautiful young woman, and that looking good isn’t a bad thing, nor is looking bad on a bad hair day.
While there are still times when I get frustrated at inconveniences that are a part of life (periods, pain, hunger, etc.), I’ve come a long way and generally love myself.