Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen… being thin DOES NOT mean your life is just automatically better, that you’ll ALWAYS be happy, or that you’re somehow some goddess of beauty.
I’ve been “underweight” for my entire life.
My first day of school in kindergarten, my mom was interrogated by “concerned” parents. … “Do you feed your daughter?” or “is she normally that skinny?”
Throughout my childhood, people would ask, “are you anorexic or something? I bet you’re bulimic”. This isn’t a compliment. It makes me feel like you’re saying that I don’t believe that I’m beautiful, that you don’t see me as beautiful, and that I look down on anyone that weighs more than me. I have spent years trying to prove that I’m not self-hating, not trying to be skinnier, and not concerned about my weight. Somewhere around middle school, I actually had to sort of train myself to avoid the bathroom (even if I had to pee) for 2-3 hours after eating to make sure nobody actually thought I was making myself puke up my meal. I do it unconsciously now. Throwing up is actually on my list of phobias, on the top 3 (next to spiders… I’m not really afraid of needles anymore, thanks to IV class).
I’m like a teenage boy, I have to eat as much as possible all of the time. I’m hypoglycemic, so if I don’t eat every two hours or so, I get extremely grouchy, exhausted, and irritable.
EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to my doctor’s office, she comments on my weight. “oh, you’re still the same weight. How many meals per day do you eat?” *concerned expression* I feel like I’m being INTERROGATED because it’s in my genetic code to be thin. Two words: Fast metabolism.
My doctor finally did find out that I have a digestive issue… I’m gluten and dairy intolerant. People tend to want to encourage me to eat all of the time, so when they offer me food and I have to deny, the look they give is so… judgmental.
I explain, “I’m sorry, that actually used to be one of my favorite foods and it looks and smells SO GOOD, you have no idea, but I’m gluten and dairy intolerant.” They think I’m on this diet to LOSE WEIGHT. Almost every time, they say… “oh, so THAT’S why you’re so skinny!” … no.
I tell them, I’m on this diet because it is actually supposed to help me GAIN weight. And it is! The intolerance means that my body has been unable to properly absorb some vital nutrients! Don’t get me wrong though, my whole family looks like this. My mom was 90 lbs when she got married and she doesn’t have a single health problem.
People used to always watch what I was eating, and would scoff if I left anything behind.
I had a friend who suffered from an eating disorder and she starved herself to try to get to my size. She copied everything I did to try to get the same results. It broke my heart when I found out.
Hurtful things that have been said to me because I have a fast metabolism:
- Nobody wants to fuck a bag of coat hangers
- Nobody can cuddle with a stack of bones
- You call me beautiful but you don’t understand because you’re skinny.
- You don’t actually think I’m pretty (this is when I compliment someone that complains to me about weight). You’re skinny.
- Are you anorexic or something?
- oooooh, so THAT’S why you’re so skinny
- I’ll carry this, I don’t want you to break.
- I’m going to feed you a pound cake a day until you gain some weight.
- Girl, you need some MEAT on your bones.
- Why don’t you just try to eat more?
- REAL women have curves.
- If you want boobs, just gain some weight! It’s that simple!
- Why don’t you fill out your training bra? You’re supposed to be able to fill the whole cup.
- You don’t need a diet, you’re skinny enough as it is!!
- Here, take my food. You look like you’re dying.
- You’re lucky, you can get anything you want at any store!
- You must be size 0! (actually, no. I have HIPS. I can’t even squeeze in to a size 0)
I’ve been interrogated, devalued, and unappreciated for most of my life simply because I’m thin. THIS IS THE WAY I WAS BORN. I truly think that women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful, but somehow, when I compliment heavier women, they don’t think I’m NOT being genuine.
Even with all of this, I still think I’m beautiful. I still love my body. I still appreciate myself and make sure my body is in balance.
Ladies, Gentlemen… “Skinny is beautiful” is an unrealistic standard set by the media. Being thin, again, does not mean you’ll be happy. It does not mean you’ll be accepted.
ACCEPT YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Only then will you be happy, healthy, and even accepted by other people’s standards. If you’re trying to impress people that are pushing you to unrealistic standards, THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.
I used to struggle with myself. I used to think that because of my thinness, I looked like a terminally ill patient and that I wasn’t a real woman because I didn’t have an ample bosom or sexy curves, or meaty thighs.
I fought through that self doubt IMPOSED BY OTHER PEOPLES’ MISPLACED JEALOUSIES AND UNREALISTIC STANDARDS. I am BEAUTIFUL as I am, because this is how I was made to be. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE, BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY YOU WERE MADE TO BE.
WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!
The secret to beauty? SELF CONFIDENCE!!!!!!
again, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!! If your “Friends” are telling you that you aren’t pretty, or if you’d be pretty if you did this or that, or you need to lose/gain weight… THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. THEY WILL NEVER BE TRUE FRIENDS. AND THEY WILL NEVER HELP YOU BE HAPPY.
STAND STRONG IN WHO YOU ARE!!!! LOVE YOURSELF!!!! LOVE OTHERS!!! TAKE HOLD OF WHAT YOU HAVE AND OWN IT!