TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM, EATING DISORDERS, DEPRESSION
Hello. I used to self-harm in a variety of ways. This picture is of one of my thighs, complete with my scars. I used to cut my thighs almost every day and sometimes multiple times a day. I did this for 4-5 years. I would sometimes hit my arms against walls until I was completely bruised, make myself vomit just because I felt so dirty or starve for days because it made me feel clean. I was so insecure about my weight, how my body was shaped, and I even believed that my face was disfigured. I could not deal with my overwhelming self-hatred. I was hospitalized many times. I went to counseling and was put on medicines and I even got to such a low point in my life that I attempted suicide.
BUT I am proud to say it has been over a year since I cut. I am wearing shorts during the summer now! I used to be so self-conscious of my scars that I would wear pants in 90 degree weather. I go to the beach now and put on my bikini and let other people think what they want if they happen to notice my scars. But honestly, most people don’t even seem to notice! I kept myself all covered up for all those years so I wouldn’t shock or disgust other people, when really I shouldn’t have gave a DAMN and just wore what I wanted. I eat healthy now and I have finally ended my vicious gaining/losing cycle which left me feeling depressed, not “perfect” (as I had been aiming for). I am still working on truly loving myself but I have come to accept my scars as a part of me. I will learn to love them, and my body, more and more with each passing day.