I have scoliosis and a number of other spinal problems that used to cause me a lot of pain – physically and emotionally. In middle school I was made fun of all the time because I walked with my back in a severe curve the right, and thus insecurity about my body began to take shape.
The thing about insecurity that I feel I’ve learned so far is that there’s always going to be potential for insecurities. What I discovered about myself is that I have to take a long hard look at those insecurities and I have to love them even more than the parts of myself I already love.
I grew out of the severe crookedness (for the most part - I still have to be really careful with my back) but even though there weren’t any laughing voices or pointing fingers behind me in physical form anymore, there were those same taunting voices and insults, but instead they were coming from me. And then there was something “wrong” with so many more parts of my body, myself, my mind.
Until recently, I always fought those negative feelings and insecurities by just arguing right back with them; essentially just counter-acting, instead of starting from a completely different angle altogether. I discovered that I have to get so incredibly comfortable with the parts of me (mind, body, soul, what have you) that I am insecure about, I have to jiggle around in the mirror, stay in nothing but underwear for a whole day, anything to get to know myself. And on this path I am finding that my insecurities about my body deserve love too, and by loving them, I love myself.
And how empowering is that, you know? I’ve just gotten a little taste of this awesome self-love that this blog has inspired me to try, but I can’t wait to have more, and I can’t wait for everyone to have it, because we are all amazing and beautiful inside and out.