This is me. Without make-up. & yes, with 8 hours of sleep every night. I don’t have some miraculous story about an eating disorder. I admire the strength everyone on this blog has had, & it’s almost embarrassing to think that I could have ever said I hate my body yet not have gone through those struggles.
I’ve always had dark circles & really big bags under my eyes. Always, since I was little. A lot of people relate it to lack of sleep but the majority of it is genetic. And that’s the case for me. My grandma has always had them. My mom has always had them. I have them. & even my little 7 year old sister has them. When I was younger, it never bothered me because I was never made fun of for having them, until middle school. Isn’t that the case with a lot of us? Nothing’s really a concern until someone points it out. Middle school, a lot of people made fun of my for a lot of things. Being chubby, having a big nose, having hair on my stomach, pimples, and the circles under my eyes. I’ve gone through my struggles of being self-conscious of each of my features. But at one point or another, I learned to get over all but one of my imperfections: my circles. I hated them. With every part of me. Every other one of my imperfections was always so easy to hide, or it just wasn’t that noticable right off the bat. My circles were. They’re under my eyes, and eyes are always the first thing people look at when they talk to you. My circles were the first thing that people noticed about me. Not my pimples, not my big nose, not my fat or my hairy stomach. People would (& still do) constantly ask me if I slept. It’s noticable and obvious, and I hated it.
I’ve always had pretty bad eye-sight. I wore glasses when I was in elementary, and contacts in middle school. But when I was made fun of, I decided to start wearing glasses again in high school. Glasses were perfect for me because I could easily hide behind them. For the most part, they could take attention away from my circles. They weren’t enough for me. I wore (and still wear) massive amounts of concealer under my eyes. I tried cucumbers practically every day. I won’t take a picture unless the lighting is perfect enough to diminish the darkness of them. From 8th to perhaps 10th grade, I used photoshop just enough to make them look lighter but not enough to completely erase them. After all, it would be obvious to everyone that I photoshopped them.
Recently, through the help (or badgering, call it what you will) of my best friends, I finally decided to stop wearing glasses and wear contacts again. I don’t think anyone knows the magnitude of what I’m doing because I always gave stupid excuses as to why I wore glasses like “it’s more convenient” or “I don’t like how sensitive I am to the light with contacts”. So it might not seem like a big deal. My family has always encouraged me, but that didn’t help. They would tell me I look prettier without glasses but I never took it seriously because I felt like they had to tell me that, they’re my family. But it’s a big, big step. I still wear as much concealer as I can without making it too obvious, and I still take hours trying to look for the best lighting in pictures. I don’t photoshop my circles. Simply not wearing glasses is a long way for someone who’s tried to hide them for almost 8 years. It shows me that I’ve come such a long way. I used to hate almost everything about me, and here I am embracing the one last thing that kept me from really loving my body. Not wearing my glasses anymore has liberated me so much. (Not to mention that it’s opened me up to a wonderful world of really awesome sunglasses. :P)
You are beautiful, lovely, gorgeous, stunning, sexy, you name it. You don’t have to hide behind anything. You were created just the way you are for a reason. You are not alone, ever.
BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!